Life Parental advice needed - Page 5

Mr. Plow · 05-04-2010, 11:41 AM

As some of you know, I've got 4 kids - 3 boys (11, 5, 4) & 1 girl (2). My wife & I have recently discovered that our 11 year old is starting puberty. Voice is changing, mood swings, hair under his arms, etc.

Being the great father I am, I hoped it would just go away and he would revert back to the cute, loving 4 year old that I remember - but alas, it isn't working no matter how much I try to ignore it.

We have noticed that he has taken an interest in the fairer sex as of late, but we have also discovered that he has taken an interest in....uhhhhh....ahem....internet porn.

My wife asked me if I looked at porn when I was his age, and I honestly don't remember if I did. But, as I told her, if I did look at porn, I certainly didn't have the readily access to it that he does in this age of computers, iPods, laptops, etc. I told her that if I wanted to look at porn, I had to look at magazines - which, in hindsight, really sucks compared to what options are available now.

So, now I get to have "the talk" with him. I get to try to explain to him what I actually know about women, which is very little, and what he and his body are going through. I also get to try to explain what is going on in the video's & pictures he has seen and how women should be respected & treated.

I never really had "the talk" with my dad, so I'm looking for a little guidance from those of you that have been through this with a child.

sedated · 05-04-2010, 12:59 PM

buy him a hooker

88TG88 · 05-04-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wutamess

Thing is... he knows more than what you think he does (by school and the Internets)... Keep it Brutally REAL. Tellem EVERYTHING.
Pu$$y, dick and think of some others to let him know you've been where he's at and know it all (even tho u don't).... the slang it stands for, etc.
blowjob... etc.

Also have'm read something on STD's with pics to reinforce the necessity of a condom.
Especially the part that 70% of sexually active peeps have some form of HPV.

Tellem you did it all and that you've done all that he's about to go through and that he can come to you for advice/guidance. The main thing is to KEEP IT BRUTALLY REAL so that he won't be ashamed or scared to talk to you in the future because you'll sugarcoat everything.

Hope this helps... Had the talk with the 11 yo a couple of years ago... gonna have her read the STD thing in the near future. (She just turned 13).

This, if you sugar coat it with the birds and the bees, I assume, he won't take it seriously.

FAX · 05-04-2010, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sedated

buy him a hooker

That's not a bad idea, actually. Probably the very best sex education a young man can have. If she's a good teacher, he will be the most popular kid in school for years to come.

FAX

munkey · 05-04-2010, 01:01 PM

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come...2999582&sr=1-1

patteeu · 05-04-2010, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tylerthigpen!1!

I wouldn't make it a movie or shopping trip. My dad did that and I was scared shitless to go alone with him anywhere after that. That is a ridiculously awkward situation for a kid going through puberty to experience. Don't associate it with anything.

In the case of my girls, the movies and shopping trips happened long before puberty hit. The point was supposed to be that if you start out early, you can theoretically avoid the just-in-time awkward puberty talk. By the time puberty arrived, they were both pretty familiar with what was happening and they were used to talking to us (mainly their mom) about topics like periods, tampons, sex and the perverted and dangerous creatures we call boys. At least that was the plan and I *think* it played out ok.

**bevischief** · 05-04-2010, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

That's not a bad idea, actually. Probably the very best sex education a young man can have. If she's a good teacher, he will be the most popular kid in school for years to come.

FAX

KCUnited · 05-04-2010, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by munkey

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come...2999582&sr=1-1

My mom actually gave me that book when I was a kid. I think I turned out ok.

**Predarat** · 05-04-2010, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoMoChief

Don't use the Lord's name like that.....Jilly will blow up at you.

God damm it that is not a nice thing to say.

1adam1238 · 05-04-2010, 01:10 PM

A few years ago, my then 12 year old son, decided to look at porn at his mother's house. In those days, if you had dial up, some sites would bump you off line and then redial a number in bangledesh or someplace like that. My son would get up in the middle of the night and access his mothers computer. He ran up a $12,000 phone bill. I would say its important to have the talk and let them know what is going on.

siberian khatru · 05-04-2010, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

That's not a bad idea, actually. Probably the very best sex education a young man can have. If she's a good teacher, he will be the most popular kid in school for years to come.

FAX

These days, she's likely to BE a teacher at his school.

niblet · 05-04-2010, 01:15 PM

My parents never had the talk with my brothers and me, and we turned out fine.

Then again, your mileage may vary. I don't think Travis Henry was ever told that sex results in pregnancy and look what happened there.

siberian khatru · 05-04-2010, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niblet

My parents never had the talk with my brothers and me, and we turned out fine.

Then again, your mileage may vary. I don't think Travis Henry was ever told that sex results in pregnancy and look what happened there.

I don't think he's ever figured it out.

Jilly · 05-04-2010, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Predarat

God damm it that is not a nice thing to say.

Oh shut it!

Mr. Plow · 05-04-2010, 01:25 PM

I fully understand young boys are going to look at porn and there isn't a whole lot that I can do to stop it. He'll find a way because I know that I did and it's much easier to have access to it now.

Honestly, I want him to grow up understanding the correct way to treat women and the consequences of sex. He knows a little bit of the consequences because my wife & I had him at a very young at (me 21 / she 19). It took him a lot less time than I had hoped it would take him to figure out that he was born before we got married.

But, it is what it is. I wouldn't change the way things have happened in my life, but I hope that I can get him to understand (as he gets older) that the consequences of having sex can alter your entire life - as they did for my wife & I.

**Iowanian** · 05-04-2010, 01:29 PM

If he's already looking, I think there are things you can and should talk about.

Maybe not the birds and the bees so much as letting him know that Porn isn't reality. Let him know that because he might see Ed Powers punching a woman in the A-hole, or facials and all of that, that he isn't likely to find that reality. His prom date isn't likely going to want him to poop on her chest and then go ATM.

As the father of daughters, I hope you'd also include a discussion about treating girls in his life with respect, in addition to making sure he doesn't have a baby until he's ready, or herpes by the 9th grade.

05-04-2010, 11:41 AM
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1592609	Parental advice needed As some of you know, I've got 4 kids - 3 boys (11, 5, 4) & 1 girl (2). My wife & I have recently discovered that our 11 year old is starting puberty. Voice is changing, mood swings, hair under his arms, etc. Being the great father I am, I hoped it would just go away and he would revert back to the cute, loving 4 year old that I remember - but alas, it isn't working no matter how much I try to ignore it. We have noticed that he has taken an interest in the fairer sex as of late, but we have also discovered that he has taken an interest in....uhhhhh....ahem....internet porn. My wife asked me if I looked at porn when I was his age, and I honestly don't remember if I did. But, as I told her, if I did look at porn, I certainly didn't have the readily access to it that he does in this age of computers, iPods, laptops, etc. I told her that if I wanted to look at porn, I had to look at magazines - which, in hindsight, really sucks compared to what options are available now. So, now I get to have "the talk" with him. I get to try to explain to him what I actually know about women, which is very little, and what he and his body are going through. I also get to try to explain what is going on in the video's & pictures he has seen and how women should be respected & treated. I never really had "the talk" with my dad, so I'm looking for a little guidance from those of you that have been through this with a child.
Posts: 31,706

05-04-2010, 01:01 PM	#64
munkey Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bend Oregon Casino cash: $10007596	http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come...2999582&sr=1-1 __________________ "In the time of chimpanzees I was a munkey"
Posts: 3,140

05-04-2010, 01:10 PM	#69
1adam1238 Knob Noster Alum Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Dayton, Nevada Casino cash: $8908155	A few years ago, my then 12 year old son, decided to look at porn at his mother's house. In those days, if you had dial up, some sites would bump you off line and then redial a number in bangledesh or someplace like that. My son would get up in the middle of the night and access his mothers computer. He ran up a $12,000 phone bill. I would say its important to have the talk and let them know what is going on.
Posts: 633

05-04-2010, 01:15 PM	#71
niblet Starter Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: On your internet Casino cash: $10004910	My parents never had the talk with my brothers and me, and we turned out fine. Then again, your mileage may vary. I don't think Travis Henry was ever told that sex results in pregnancy and look what happened there.
Posts: 376

05-04-2010, 01:25 PM	#74
Mr. Plow In Search of a Life Join Date: Dec 2005 Casino cash: $-1592609	I fully understand young boys are going to look at porn and there isn't a whole lot that I can do to stop it. He'll find a way because I know that I did and it's much easier to have access to it now. Honestly, I want him to grow up understanding the correct way to treat women and the consequences of sex. He knows a little bit of the consequences because my wife & I had him at a very young at (me 21 / she 19). It took him a lot less time than I had hoped it would take him to figure out that he was born before we got married. But, it is what it is. I wouldn't change the way things have happened in my life, but I hope that I can get him to understand (as he gets older) that the consequences of having sex can alter your entire life - as they did for my wife & I.
Posts: 31,706

05-04-2010, 01:29 PM	#75
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1628454	If he's already looking, I think there are things you can and should talk about. Maybe not the birds and the bees so much as letting him know that Porn isn't reality. Let him know that because he might see Ed Powers punching a woman in the A-hole, or facials and all of that, that he isn't likely to find that reality. His prom date isn't likely going to want him to poop on her chest and then go ATM. As the father of daughters, I hope you'd also include a discussion about treating girls in his life with respect, in addition to making sure he doesn't have a baby until he's ready, or herpes by the 9th grade.
Posts: 62,946