Would it bother you if your SO/spouse made more money than you?

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

Fair point, but it would again seem to show how flawed the idea is.

I just don't understand the 'stay at home mom' concept. It's beneath most women, IMO and it creates a pretty strained division of labor at home.

I suppose the argument would be that it creates a far better environment for the children to grow up in at the expense of the parents and is therefore the unselfish approach, but I also have to wonder how often that arrangement leads to an unhealthy (or perhaps failed) marriage. Which would certainly have a far more damaging impact on a child than would Day Care.

Depends what the lesser-paid spouse (typically the woman) makes. For example, if she's making $10 per hour and the husband has a strong, salary position, it might make more sense, all things considered, for the wife to stay home because she wouldn't be earning enough to justify the high cost of daycare and the other ramifications.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Depends what the lesser-paid spouse (typically the woman) makes. For example, if she's making $10 per hour and the husband has a strong, salary position, it might make more sense, all things considered, for the wife to stay home because she wouldn't be earning enough to justify the high cost of daycare and the other ramifications.

I honestly think I'd still be opposed to it.

At that point the roles in the relationship are just so far apart from each other that common ground seems impossible. Suddenly it seems less like a partnership to me. Instead you seem to have 2 divisions within the marriage.

If it were absolutely necessary to make ends meet, I suppose I could see it as a last alternative, but I'd do everything I could to keep it from happening.

[Hydrae]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Depends what the lesser-paid spouse (typically the woman) makes. For example, if she's making $10 per hour and the husband has a strong, salary position, it might make more sense, all things considered, for the wife to stay home because she wouldn't be earning enough to justify the high cost of daycare and the other ramifications.

THIS

I have related this here before but this seems like a good place for a reprisal of my experiences. This is not about who made more money, that has never been an issue. It is about having a stay-at-home wife/mother. After our third child was born, money was an issue for us. I worked 2 jobs for a while to get us through but after a couple of years my wife went to work to help out. This allowed my to work just the one job which was a nice relief. At the same time though, I found myself busier helping out around the house. I got home before she did so I did most of the cooking. By the time she got home, dinner would be on the way, there might be laundry going and I would have gone through the kid's paperwork from school that day.

We did this for a couple of years and then I got an opportunity to earn enough more income that they wife didn't have to work. Having her staying home took more pressure off of my than I realized I had taken on. Now when I get home from work, I am home. No worrying about cleaning or cooking. I have more time and energy for my kids or working in the garden or just playing on the computer. I also have more time and energy for my wife and my kids have an adult available to them at all times. We have raised our kids for the most part without farming them out to a daycare which we believe has given them a stronger foundation to build upon.

I am and will always be a strong proponent for having a stay-at-home parent. It is not for everyone but I think those who have never been there have no clue the positive difference it can make in their lives even considering the reduced income levels.