Flabbergasted and pissed

[Iowanian]

I've been in several weddings over the years and I think I've probably not paid for my own tux 2-3.

I assume it's part of the honor of standing up with your friend and family. They have enough expenses and problems, that myself and my attire aren't going to be one of them.

[DaneMcCloud]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I've been in several weddings over the years and I think I've probably not paid for my own tux 2-3.

I assume it's part of the honor of standing up with your friend and family. They have enough expenses and problems, that myself and my attire aren't going to be one of them.

Yeah, no shit. RedThat is a ****ing reerun.

First off, it's an HONOR to be in someone's wedding party. You don't make the groom PAY for your services, especially if you're such good friend that he asks you to stand up for him.

Secondly, I've had friends fly cross-country (and visa-versa) for weddings and to be in wedding parties. I'd NEVER ask ANYONE that took time out of their busy schedule to pay for their own tux, and I'd never THINK of asking anyone to pay for mine.

It reeks of ****ing DOUCHEBAGGERY.

RedThat should be ashamed.

[RedThat]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

Yeah, no shit. RedThat is a ****ing reerun.

First off, it's an HONOR to be in someone's wedding party. You don't make the groom PAY for your services, especially if you're such good friend that he asks you to stand up for him.

Secondly, I've had friends fly cross-country (and visa-versa) for weddings and to be in wedding parties. I'd NEVER ask ANYONE that took time out of their busy schedule to pay for their own tux, and I'd never THINK of asking anyone to pay for mine.

It reeks of ****ing DOUCHEBAGGERY.

RedThat should be ashamed.

Ashamed of what? I've been in and seen wedding parties where the groom does pay for services. It happens. It all depends on the person and how they are as individuals or how they feel towards you. I never made the groom pay for my services so quit putting words in my mouth you stupid a**hole. All I was getting at was this situation brings out the true colours of my friend.

You don't even know our past relationship to make such comments. I bent over backwards for this guy, but he rarely did it for me. Ive always done stuff, but never asked for anything back. That represents goodness, but eventually after a while you get sick of that. i sensed he depended on my kindness. He has been doing that for years and years. He chose me to be a part of his party because he feels and knows im a kind person, and everytime we were together he feels im good for a laugh. You know what? I tried dude. I tried to be as good as I could with this guy, and eventually I got sick. Its hard to sustain goodness with someone when they in turn treat you like a piece of trash. As a result, you end up becoming garbage back to them. Yeah you can be good, but when there is a lack of respect towards you that is a reflection on how others in turn will be treated back. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. I treat people with kindness and generousity and wished I was treated the same way. Treat others the way you wish to be treated is biblical. And Im not trying to get biblical on you here.

Honored? yes..i feel that way to be in someones wedding party. but still cant neglect the way a person treats you because if you do then you're not listening to your own consciousness inside you. Eventually the negatives will show up no matter how positive you are about a situation. That is part of being human! Kindness is part of my identity, but after this situation, I feel robbed and stripped of that quality. I learned to never bend backwards for people who are selfish. NOBODY likes to be used...You fail to see the humanitarian aspect of how I feel..But why am I telling you this, im wasting my time.

[DaFace]

Originally Posted by RedThat

Ashamed of what? I've been in and seen wedding parties where the groom does pay for services. It happens. It all depends on the person and how they are as individuals or how they feel towards you. I never made the groom pay for my services so quit putting words in my mouth you stupid a**hole. All I was getting at was this situation brings out the true colours of my friend.

You don't even know our past relationship to make such comments. I bent over backwards for this guy, but he rarely did it for me. Ive always done stuff, but never asked for anything back. That represents goodness, but eventually after a while you get sick of that. i sensed he depended on my kindness. He has been doing that for years and years. He chose me to be a part of his party because he feels and knows im a kind person, and everytime we were together he feels im good for a laugh. You know what? I tried dude. I tried to be as good as I could with this guy, and eventually I got sick. Its hard to sustain goodness with someone when they in turn treat you like a piece of trash. As a result, you end up becoming garbage back to them. Yeah you can be good, but when there is a lack of respect towards you that is a reflection on how others in turn will be treated back. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. I treat people with kindness and generousity and wished I was treated the same way. Treat others the way you wish to be treated is biblical. And Im not trying to get biblical on you here.

Honored? yes..i feel that way to be in someones wedding party. but still cant neglect the way a person treats you because if you do then you're not listening to your own consciousness inside you. Eventually the negatives will show up no matter how positive you are about a situation. That is part of being human! Kindness is part of my identity, but after this situation, I feel robbed and stripped of that quality. I learned to never bend backwards for people who are selfish. NOBODY likes to be used...You fail to see the humanitarian aspect of how I feel..But why am I telling you this, im wasting my time.

Dude...don't let people get you all riled up. You know how this place works.

Clearly, you know your situation better than anyone. He probably should have figured out the ride thing, but obviously he had other things on his mind. Only you can decide if this was a case of "dude is being an asshole like he always does" or "the guy forgot and didn't want to be bugged about it after he really couldn't do anything about it."

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by RedThat

I treat people with kindness and generousity and wished I was treated the same way.

Well, you can wish in one hand and shit in the other...

Seriously, if you continue to go through life with that line of thinking, this won't be the last time you'll be enraged over something like this. Personally, I've found that expecting the worst from people and being occasionally surprised is far better than expecting the best and being constantly disappointed.