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Old 07-15-2012, 01:15 PM  
Quesadilla Joe Quesadilla Joe is offline
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Elvis Dumervil arrested
The Miami-Dade (Fla.) court website confirms Elvis Dumervil was arrested for aggravated assault with a firearm.

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Old 07-16-2012, 04:09 PM   #256
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Oh, it's obvious at this point that he's ****ed. But I still bet it gets pleaded down to a slap on the wrist. As for suspensions, it just depends on how long it takes to sort it all out. My guess is 4-6 games, but it might not happen until late this season or even next season.
Yeah, probably not til next season.

Either way...
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:13 PM   #257
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Oh, it's obvious at this point that he's ****ed. But I still bet it gets pleaded down to a slap on the wrist. As for suspensions, it just depends on how long it takes to sort it all out. My guess is 4-6 games, but it might not happen until late this season or even next season.
I think he misses games this season. This wasn't a DUI. Dude brandished a gun.
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:16 PM   #258
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So as long as Steinberg can argue Elvis never flashed a gun this should all go away.
By the time Goodell is through with Dumbassville only the Armadillo Guy is going to be able to satisfy him...
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:27 PM   #259
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"Your honor, I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the other party threw a gun at Mr. Dumervil, and it landed in his glove box."
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:32 PM   #260
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Yeah police report says Elvis lifted his shirt to show a gun in his waistband, says witness identified that it was Elvis.

http://blogs.denverpost.com/broncos/...t-miami/14278/

I missed the fact that Dumervil had two guns. He must've been on his way to a big drug deal or something.
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:36 PM   #261
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"Your honor, I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the other party threw a gun at Mr. Dumervil, and it landed in his glove box."
....then bounced perfectly into his waistband WITHOUT Mr. Dumervil's knowlege. He went to explain in the kindest terms possible to the confused person in front of he and his friend that he wished to APOLOGIZE for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"It was at that point when he reached the other car, your honor, that Mr. Dumervil felt some kind of cold steel near his nether regions. Knowing that this was not Friday night and he was not in attendance at Mistress Lindsay's House of Pain, he raised his shirt to investigate what the sensation was he was feeling. All a COMPLETE misunderstanding.

"In fact, Mr. Dumervil and his companion were approaching said vehicle to give them free weekend passes to Disney World for their troubles. Disney World, your honor. Because my client is an AMERICAN that loves Disney World, and wants to share that magnificance of that experience with those less fortunate.

"Clearly, my client did nothing wrong, because he loves America and all it stands for."
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:46 PM   #262
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:10 PM   #263
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Funny how Homo tried to head this off...
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:17 PM   #264
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Heh.

http://blogs.denverpost.com/opinion/...arrests/21152/

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Old 07-16-2012, 05:17 PM   #265
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:21 PM   #266
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There's also the matter of a third person arrested, which did not show up on police report. Who is that third person?
https://mobile.twitter.com/VicLombar...00408966373376
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:29 PM   #267
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They pulled thier guns out and yelled VONDOOOOOMMMM!!!
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:32 PM   #268
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They pulled thier guns out and yelled VONDOOOOOMMMM!!!
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:33 PM   #269
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The guys at 104.3 The Fan checked out google maps and said it would be IMPOSSIBLE for the Victoria's Secret witness to actually see a gun on Elvis.
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:34 PM   #270
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The guys at 104.3 the fant checked out google maps and said it would be IMPOSSIBLE for the Victoria's Secret witness to actually see a gun on Elvis.
Jesus.
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