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Old 08-08-2012, 01:09 AM   #1
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION
 
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Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:01 AM   #2
Rasputin Rasputin is online now
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Originally Posted by BillSelfsTrophycase View Post
Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?
Beetlejuice
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:14 AM   #3
dmahurin dmahurin is offline
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I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
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I think one reason heteros have become more tolerant of gays is their own acceptance of butt-sex as an alternative form. I never heard of the concept until about 5-10 years ago and it's mentioned continually in pop culture. Honestly I have no clue what the appeal is but apparently it exists. Usually as a solution to sexual boredom.
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Old 08-08-2012, 05:32 AM   #4
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Originally Posted by dmahurin View Post
I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
A Patrick Bateman quote has already been done.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:49 AM   #5
JD10367 JD10367 is offline
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Originally Posted by dmahurin View Post
I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. I'm gay.
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Old 08-08-2012, 03:15 AM   #6
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION
 
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Beetlejuice
Bettlejuice
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Old 08-08-2012, 11:30 AM   #7
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Beetlejuice
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Bettlejuice

Oh shit. Don't do it.
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