I won my secret internal battle.

[beach tribe]

Originally Posted by bogey

I stopped smoking on April 8th 2013, I stopped drinking on July 8th 2013. I have been having secret internal battles with myself for many, many years. I came clean to my wife last night about my drinking problem. My secret internal battles are no longer a secret. I wish I could fast forward 6 months to prove to my wife and myself that I'm sincere. This is a GOOD ****ING DAY. I wanted to post this on here because this is my version of shouting out to the world, and none of you good people know me. Ya'll have a good day, ya hear? Way to go ME!

The WORST thing you can do is think you've won.
You haven't won shit Yet so don't go back patting yourself.
Your opponent is stronger and smarter than you think.
Be strong. Dont forget about the damage it does and will do.
For her, for yourself
Goodluck.

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by beach tribe

The WORST thing you can do is think you've won.
You haven't won shit Yet so don't go back patting yourself.
Your opponent is stronger and smarter than you think.
Be strong. Dont forget about the damage it does and will do.
For her, for yourself
Goodluck.

This.


I find myself needing balance in my life, never get too emotionally high and never get too emotionally down on myself. Both levels of high excitement or set backs can be very damaging. If I get too excited then the rug gets pulled out from under me and I fall flat on my face drunk. If I get down then I fall in the depression trap and fall flat on my face drunk or get suicidal. That is just the way it is for me. I want to be happy in life but enjoy it as it comes one day at a time.

Alcohol is the quickest way to set myself up for failure. I was a happy drunk or when I got drunk but the carnage it left me miserable and I have a long road of recovery one day at a time. It isn't easy & wont be easy. It shouldn't be easy it is what makes you a stronger, better person.

[bogey]

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

This.


I find myself needing balance in my life, never get too emotionally high and never get too emotionally down on myself. Both levels of high excitement or set backs can be very damaging. If I get too excited then the rug gets pulled out from under me and I fall flat on my face drunk. If I get down then I fall in the depression trap and fall flat on my face drunk or get suicidal. That is just the way it is for me. I want to be happy in life but enjoy it as it comes one day at a time.

Alcohol is the quickest way to set myself up for failure. I was a happy drunk or when I got drunk but the carnage it left me miserable and I have a long road of recovery one day at a time. It isn't easy & wont be easy. It shouldn't be easy it is what makes you a stronger, better person.

I don't want to in any way lead anyone to believe that I am not fully aware of the challenge that is ahead of me. The most difficult battles I have ever fought are the battles against myself. I am a very "gray area" person and don't do very well with black and white, so I avoid black and white scenarios. I have been given a second chance at life with a black and white question. Which is more important to me, my marriage or alcohol? The question is that simple. I will NOT drink alcohol again.

[bogey]

Originally Posted by beach tribe

The WORST thing you can do is think you've won.
You haven't won shit Yet so don't go back patting yourself.
Your opponent is stronger and smarter than you think.
Be strong. Dont forget about the damage it does and will do.
For her, for yourself
Goodluck.

I appreciate it beach tribe. I'll keep my feet on the ground. So far, so good!

[houstonwhodat]

Originally Posted by beach tribe

The WORST thing you can do is think you've won.
You haven't won shit Yet so don't go back patting yourself.
Your opponent is stronger and smarter than you think.
Be strong. Dont forget about the damage it does and will do.
For her, for yourself
Goodluck.

When you say you haven't had a drink "yet".

Yet means "you're eligible too"

You can always fall off that wagon.

[bogey]

Originally Posted by houstonwhodat

When you say you haven't had a drink "yet".

Yet means "you're eligible too"

You can always fall off that wagon.

Yea, I'm not using the word "yet" for exactly that reason. I'm probably delusional, but I choose to attack this as if I've got it figured out. For me, the battle isn't with alcohol, it's with me.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by bogey

Yea, I'm not using the word "yet" for exactly that reason. I'm probably delusional, but I choose to attack this as if I've got it figured out. For me, the battle isn't with alcohol, it's with me.

That makes a helluva lot of sense. I've come to acknowledge that my family has a hereditary issue with addiction. Be it alcohol or whatever, doesn't matter. My younger sister just within the last few days has admitted to her painkiller addiction. Which I've been pleading with her about for years. Turns out she's been popping 15-20 Oxy pills a day. And this is after doing almost 2 years behind bars in the past for it. Looking at detox options now.

Keep with it. I know how addiction can ruin lives. Even entire families. Sounds like you're already seeing the benefits of rising above it, and that's gotta be huge motivation.

[bogey]

Originally Posted by Fish

That makes a helluva lot of sense. I've come to acknowledge that my family has a hereditary issue with addiction. Be it alcohol or whatever, doesn't matter. My younger sister just within the last few days has admitted to her painkiller addiction. Which I've been pleading with her about for years. Turns out she's been popping 15-20 Oxy pills a day. And this is after doing almost 2 years behind bars in the past for it. Looking at detox options now.

Keep with it. I know how addiction can ruin lives. Even entire families. Sounds like you're already seeing the benefits of rising above it, and that's gotta be huge motivation.

I can relate to inherited addictions. I got mine from my Moms side of the family. As a kid, we used to have huge family reunions. Usually they were local, at a lake or camp ground, sometimes we would travel. I remember it was a drunken fest for the adults. My grandparents, my Great Uncles and Aunts, my immediate Uncle, my Mom, my older grown up cousins... it seemed like everyone was drunk. Now, my memories of these reunions are nothing but GREAT!! They were a blast, everyone let loose and partied till the sun came up and then we would go fishing and the drunken fun continued. IT WAS GREAT!!! Now that I'm the old Uncle (at time the obnoxious drunken Uncle), I see the pattern continuing with my brother, my cousins, my nieces and nephews and of course my Mom. I only hope my child didn't get the gene. I've let her know that she was born with an addictive personality and she needs to be aware of it. She sees it in her Nana (my Mom), Nana usually starts slurring around 3PM or 4PM. In a way, Nana's slurring may help my daughter get a handle on this MOTHER ****ING ADDICTION! She's certainly helped make my daughter aware.

[bogey]

Originally Posted by Fish

That makes a helluva lot of sense. I've come to acknowledge that my family has a hereditary issue with addiction. Be it alcohol or whatever, doesn't matter. My younger sister just within the last few days has admitted to her painkiller addiction. Which I've been pleading with her about for years. Turns out she's been popping 15-20 Oxy pills a day. And this is after doing almost 2 years behind bars in the past for it. Looking at detox options now.

Keep with it. I know how addiction can ruin lives. Even entire families. Sounds like you're already seeing the benefits of rising above it, and that's gotta be huge motivation.

Good luck to your little sis! Positive thoughts going out to her from one addict to another.