A Letter That Will Make You Feel Uncomfortable at Best

[Sorter]

A family is in shock and a community has united after an anonymous hate letter was written about a young boy living with severe autism.

Karla Begley told CityNews her son Max, 13, stays with his grandmother in the morning during the summer time. It was at that home in Newcastle where letter was delivered on Friday.

“I was shaking when I was reading it,” Brenda Millson, Max’s grandmother, told CityNews. “It’s awful words. You don’t know why somebody would ever do such a thing.”

The typed, one-page letter refers to the young boy as a “nuisance” and a “wild animal” before suggesting the family move or “euthanize” the child.

Begley says the police have been contacted and should they have grounds, charges will be filed against the letter’s author.
http://www.citynews.ca/2013/08/18/fa...n-with-autism/

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by frazod

Keep in mind, this was 40 years ago, and I only interacted with the kid (who is still alive and in his 50s now) a handful of times. He wasn't malicious in any way, and that was obvious. But he was definitely out of control. I can't really say whether they could or couldn't have done better.

I'm still friends with his sister. He's living in some sort of home now, and apparently other than getting older he really hasn't changed at all.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever asked the sister about it? What is her opinion on growing up with the brother? Did she become accustomed to it and didn't think about it, or did she spend her entire youth fending him off, to borrow your words?

And was she older or younger than the brother?

[jspchief]

Originally Posted by frazod

I also notice you didn't answer my question. But that's okay - we already know the answer, don't we?

I assumed it was rhetorical.

No. I would not want to live in a neighborhood with a troublesome mentally handicapped person. Or a neighborhood with high crime. Or on a dangerous road, etc.

No one wants to live in a neighborhood with difficult neighbors. But that's so far removed from justification for that letter, I'm not even sure how you think it enters the discussion.

[Squatch]

Originally Posted by Mosbonian

I'm going to go with the "most people don't have an effing clue what it is like to live with a Special Needs child" explanation for many of the responses on here.

And making light of the situation shows, for the moment, you are showing a lack of class.

Sorry if I offended you. I do unto others as they do to me.

I know exactly what you mean and that's why I have said some things here.

What I said has nothing to do with you but, I meant exactly what I said about JasonsAuto.

[blaise]

Originally Posted by Squatch

Sorry if I offended you. I do unto others as they do to me.

People post really stupid opinions with terrible use of logic to you?

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by frazod

Keep in mind, this was 40 years ago, and I only interacted with the kid (who is still alive and in his 50s now) a handful of times. He wasn't malicious in any way, and that was obvious. But he was definitely out of control. I can't really say whether they could or couldn't have done better.

I'm still friends with his sister. He's living in some sort of home now, and apparently other than getting older he really hasn't changed at all.

Times have changed and with it comes better options for parents. This thread is a little more "close to home" because it touches on so many things about parents with Special Needs kids.

Most parents are so emotional when it comes to whom they believe can best provide solutions for the care of their special needs child. And the older they become the harder the choice of what the options are.

Imagine being in your late 50's and the parent of an adult special needs child...what are your options for your child when you leave the moral coil?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Mosbonian

I'm going to go with the "most people don't have an effing clue what it is like to live with a Special Needs child" explanation for many of the responses on here.

And making light of the situation shows, for the moment, you are showing a lack of class.

You don't have to answer if you don't want, but how do you handle it? It sounds like your son is not a problem, but how do you handle him on a day to day basis? Does he just go everywhere with you or your wife? Do you have someone to help you? Do you get (or need) respite or day care for him, or is he independent enough that he can function somewhat independently?

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by jspchief

I assumed it was rhetorical.

No. I would not want to live in a neighborhood with a troublesome mentally handicapped person. Or a neighborhood with high crime. Or on a dangerous road, etc.

No one wants to live in a neighborhood with difficult neighbors. But that's so far removed from justification for that letter, I'm not even sure how you think it enters the discussion.

It's not like I shouted out **** YEAH over the letter. The letter was rude and ignorant, and I've already said that. But do I understand what could push the bitch over the edge in this situation? Absolutely.

I know I got your labia all enflamed over in the DC thread, and in your typical bitchy fashion you are gushing estogen all over the board because of it, but this is really stupid, even for you.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You don't have to answer if you don't want, but how do you handle it? It sounds like your son is not a problem, but how do you handle him on a day to day basis? Does he just go everywhere with you or your wife? Do you have someone to help you? Do you get (or need) respite or day care for him, or is he independent enough that he can function somewhat independently?

I don't mind answering....

90% of the time you would see my son in public and think nothing of it. He is well-mannered, respectful and everything a man could ask of a son. He loves his parents, is overly-protective when it comes to his little sister, and he and his dog are inseparable.

It's the 10% of the time that his emotional issues take over that my wife and I have to handle. And at his size, sometimes "handling" becomes more about mental than physical.

We have always taught him what is acceptable behavior...although recently he has taken to using more profanity than what I find acceptable when trying to get "attention". I don't think that is anymore different than a normal 21 y/o so I don't get highly angry when he does it...I just try to be more paternal and remind him that if offends his mom.

At times we leave him home alone because he is independent enough to handle himself without needing us. Other times when we will be gone for a period of time he will accompany my wife and I. And most of the time he just sits in the car/truck reading because that is what he really likes to do.

Our dilemma...no different than any other parent in a situation like us is this...what do we do with him when we are incapable of taking care of him?

There will come a day when my wife and I can no longer care for him, much less ourselves. And that is what I have to prepare for. And it kills me.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It sounds like you have a lot of experience fighting people with developmental issues.

It was a joke of course. And I thought is was funny Dr. Cephalic Trauma.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Mosbonian

Our dilemma...no different than any other parent in a situation like us is this...what do we do with him when we are incapable of taking care of him?

There will come a day when my wife and I can no longer care for him, much less ourselves. And that is what I have to prepare for. And it kills me.

I think at that point.....you bank on two things....

1. Knowing that you've raised him right and giving him the tools to succeed.
2. Making sure that you've set up a good support system of friends and relatives around to help him out.

I can't say that I know what you're going through in this particular thing....but I do have a 6 year old daughter with epilepsy....and there are particular struggles dealing with that.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Mosbonian

I don't mind answering....

90% of the time you would see my son in public and think nothing of it. He is well-mannered, respectful and everything a man could ask of a son. He loves his parents, is overly-protective when it comes to his little sister, and he and his dog are inseparable.

It's the 10% of the time that his emotional issues take over that my wife and I have to handle. And at his size, sometimes "handling" becomes more about mental than physical.

We have always taught him what is acceptable behavior...although recently he has taken to using more profanity than what I find acceptable when trying to get "attention". I don't think that is anymore different than a normal 21 y/o so I don't get highly angry when he does it...I just try to be more paternal and remind him that if offends his mom.

At times we leave him home alone because he is independent enough to handle himself without needing us. Other times when we will be gone for a period of time he will accompany my wife and I. And most of the time he just sits in the car/truck reading because that is what he really likes to do.

Our dilemma...no different than any other parent in a situation like us is this...what do we do with him when we are incapable of taking care of him?

There will come a day when my wife and I can no longer care for him, much less ourselves. And that is what I have to prepare for. And it kills me.

Interesting. The reading thing seems to be a nice solution.

The long-term solution does seem like it would be difficult. It seems like there are fewer options now where a person like your son can be in a "cared for" setting, and that must be worrisome. My wife and I were just talking about that the other day in the context of someone we know.

Coincidentally, I'm talking now with a health care client that is interested in expanding their long-term care practice for people with mental illness or other mental issues, and I was a little surprised by their interest in it. However, they get Medicaid funding and think they have a good niche in serving this population, so they're intrigued. (However, they're looking at bringing my firm aboard to figure out what the fully loaded cost is so they can see if the funding really is adequate or not.)

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by tooge

It was a joke of course. And I thought is was funny Dr. Cephalic Trauma.

Yeah, I knew you were joking. But I have no experience fighting, so if you want to fight at a CP bash at some point I'm up for it. I need to learn, and I haven't heard back from TinyEvel on my invitation to fight him at a CP Bash.

You just have to guarantee to fix any dental issues that you cause.

[Tombstone RJ]

Originally Posted by frazod

It's not like I shouted out **** YEAH over the letter. The letter was rude and ignorant, and I've already said that. But do I understand what could push the bitch over the edge in this situation? Absolutely.

I know I got your labia all enflamed over in the DC thread, and in your typical bitchy fashion you are gushing estogen all over the board because of it, but this is really stupid, even for you.

lol at the irony of this bitchy post...

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Yeah, I knew you were joking. But I have no experience fighting, so if you want to fight at a CP bash at some point I'm up for it. I need to learn, and I haven't heard back from TinyEvel on my invitation to fight him at a CP Bash.

You just have to guarantee to fix any dental issues that you caused.

Heh. I'm a lover not a fighter. Since you aren't a hot female, and since I'm married, I can't give you loving lessons at this time. We will just have to settle for a beer.

[Mosbonian]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Interesting. The reading thing seems to be a nice solution.

The long-term solution does seem like it would be difficult. It seems like there are fewer options now where a person like your son can be in a "cared for" setting, and that must be worrisome. My wife and I were just talking about that the other day in the context of someone we know.

There are fewer and fewer options for group homes for Adult Special needs....and even the ones that are out there are suspect in nature. There is nothing worse than worrying about what will happen to your child when you are gone.

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Coincidentally, I'm talking now with a health care client that is interested in expanding their long-term care practice for people with mental illness or other mental issues, and I was a little surprised by their interest in it. However, they get Medicaid funding and think they have a good niche in serving this population, so they're intrigued. (However, they're looking at bringing my firm aboard to figure out what the fully loaded cost is so they can see if the funding really is adequate or not.)

Good luck to your client....with the new health care insurance reform coming next year he is in for some real fun.