Life Hypothetical: A New Homestead Act

**Rain Man** · 02:23 PM

Assume that the U.S. government starts a new Homestead Act in a foreign territory that is experiencing a void of power. The government formally makes the place a territory a la Puerto Rico or Guam, so there'll likely be a long-term American presence there.

With a goal of cementing American power in the region, the government offers homesteads to Americans such as yourself. The following conditions exist:

1. You will get an area large enough to support yourself via farming, with some income crops to let you acquire basic things you can't make yourself. Let's call it 640 acres.

2. You will get basic farming equipment to accomplish the above. It's not fully automated, but you're not out there with an oxen team. It's hard work, but not hardscrabble. You will receive some initial farming training if you need it, and a homestead extension officer will visit once a month to advise you as needed.

3. The government will provide a shipping container home for your use, along with four outbuildings along the same lines for equipment, storage, chickens, etc. You'll have to assemble everything.

4. You will get enough livestock to be self-sufficient per the above, and a seed stock and other stuff that you need to get started.

5. There are some native folks who are not happy at all about you being given their land. You don't really like their culture, and they don't like yours. They've been herded onto a territory a day's drive from your farm, but are mobile. They aren't violent, but they don't mind a fight at all and aren't above the occasional raid on one or two farms per year. However, the army will be running patrols that will include a welfare check on your property once per week.

6. There are enough Americans doing this that your farm will be surrounded by other farms of similar size. There will be 1,000 or so farms in your area.

7. There will be a town with a general store approximately one day's drive from your farm. It will have one cafe and a small hotel, and a small health clinic. The nearest big city with a hospital, college, movie theater, Long John Silver's, etc., is a four-day drive.

8. This area is isolated and a long way from the U.S. It'll cost you at least $10,000 to make a trip to the U.S., so you're not going to go back regularly at all.

9. You're on your own for schooling and child-raising and anything social.

10. You'll have solar power, access to a good well, and free satellite wifi.

11. You will own the land as long as you reside on the land. You can't get the land and then move back to the U.S. and lease it to the angry locals or some such thing. No loopholes.

Do you homestead, or do you keep your life the way it is now?

Stewie · 08-21-2013, 02:15 PM

Am I reliant on Monsanto?

seclark · 08-21-2013, 02:18 PM

can we grow weed, man? /bump

**Easy 6** · 08-21-2013, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark

can we grow weed, man? /bump

Speaking of Bump, haven't seen him around lately, maybe he's been popped for possession...

**loochy** · 08-21-2013, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seclark

can we grow weed, man? /bump

Dude wtf happened to that dude? I haven't seen anything from him in months.

Pablo · 08-21-2013, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

Dude wtf happened to that dude? I haven't seen anything from him in months.

NSA news came out and he couldn't handle it.

Stopped all online and telephone communication.

Just a guess.

**Rain Man** · 08-21-2013, 02:20 PM

To clarify, you are not reliant on Monsanto, and you can grow marijuana for personal use, but not for sale.

kepp · 08-21-2013, 02:22 PM

Does the satellite wifi support online gaming?

**Rain Man** · 08-21-2013, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kepp

Does the satellite wifi support online gaming?

The satellite wife supports online gaming, but freezes up if you play more than two hours straight and requires a reboot.

Psyko Tek · 08-21-2013, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

The satellite wife supports online gaming, but freezes up if you play more than two hours straight and requires a reboot.

tell me more about the satellite Wife?

does she just hang around and watch you?
is she receptive?

is this just a hologram thing beamed in?

is she pay-per-view?

can I get any other channels
like satellite mistress, or nasty skank 3 way type stuff?

How's the tech support ' cause I have had trouble with wives before...
I need all the help I can get

L.A. Chieffan · 08-21-2013, 02:23 PM

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

BlackHelicopters · 08-21-2013, 02:24 PM

Homestead me

Stewie · 08-21-2013, 02:24 PM

I would homestead if I were younger. I think you need at least 10 kids to help on the farm. If we're limited to this scenario there's no way a couple of people could make it work. 640 acres is a huge expanse.

kepp · 08-21-2013, 02:28 PM

Would I be allowed to setup sharecropping parcels with the natives? I could also train an indigenous child to reboot my satellite connection every two hours.

**Buehler445** · 08-21-2013, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewie

I would homestead if I were younger. I think you need at least 10 kids to help on the farm. If we're limited to this scenario there's no way a couple of people could make it work. 640 acres is a huge expanse.

TOTALLY depends on where the 640 acres are.

And my answer is no.

EDIT: 640 isn't a great expanse. It's a mile by a mile.

View Poll Results: Do you homestead or stay?
Homestead. That sounds like a pretty good life.	15	30.61%
Stay. I don't need the 640 acres and the peace and quiet that bad.	31	63.27%
I can't answer until I learn more about our local football franchise.	3	6.12%
Voters: 49. You may not vote on this poll

08-21-2013, 02:14 PM	Topic Starter
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-672449 VARSITY	Hypothetical: A New Homestead Act Assume that the U.S. government starts a new Homestead Act in a foreign territory that is experiencing a void of power. The government formally makes the place a territory a la Puerto Rico or Guam, so there'll likely be a long-term American presence there. With a goal of cementing American power in the region, the government offers homesteads to Americans such as yourself. The following conditions exist: 1. You will get an area large enough to support yourself via farming, with some income crops to let you acquire basic things you can't make yourself. Let's call it 640 acres. 2. You will get basic farming equipment to accomplish the above. It's not fully automated, but you're not out there with an oxen team. It's hard work, but not hardscrabble. You will receive some initial farming training if you need it, and a homestead extension officer will visit once a month to advise you as needed. 3. The government will provide a shipping container home for your use, along with four outbuildings along the same lines for equipment, storage, chickens, etc. You'll have to assemble everything. 4. You will get enough livestock to be self-sufficient per the above, and a seed stock and other stuff that you need to get started. 5. There are some native folks who are not happy at all about you being given their land. You don't really like their culture, and they don't like yours. They've been herded onto a territory a day's drive from your farm, but are mobile. They aren't violent, but they don't mind a fight at all and aren't above the occasional raid on one or two farms per year. However, the army will be running patrols that will include a welfare check on your property once per week. 6. There are enough Americans doing this that your farm will be surrounded by other farms of similar size. There will be 1,000 or so farms in your area. 7. There will be a town with a general store approximately one day's drive from your farm. It will have one cafe and a small hotel, and a small health clinic. The nearest big city with a hospital, college, movie theater, Long John Silver's, etc., is a four-day drive. 8. This area is isolated and a long way from the U.S. It'll cost you at least $10,000 to make a trip to the U.S., so you're not going to go back regularly at all. 9. You're on your own for schooling and child-raising and anything social. 10. You'll have solar power, access to a good well, and free satellite wifi. 11. You will own the land as long as you reside on the land. You can't get the land and then move back to the U.S. and lease it to the angry locals or some such thing. No loopholes. Do you homestead, or do you keep your life the way it is now? Last edited by Rain Man; 08-21-2013 at 02:23 PM..
Posts: 145,499

08-21-2013, 02:15 PM	#2
Stewie MVP Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: West of the Equator Casino cash: $-1810099	Am I reliant on Monsanto?
Posts: 13,869

08-21-2013, 02:18 PM	#3
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $-410100	can we grow weed, man? /bump __________________ "Mr. seclark. Wrong for gravy, wrong for jelly, wrong for biscuits." -rj "If every Planeteer who was disliked by another Planeteer stopped being a Planeteer we wouldn't have any Planeteers." -rj
Posts: 13,447

08-21-2013, 02:20 PM	#7
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-672449 VARSITY	To clarify, you are not reliant on Monsanto, and you can grow marijuana for personal use, but not for sale. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,499

08-21-2013, 02:22 PM	#8
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $3459212	Does the satellite wifi support online gaming?
Posts: 14,746

08-21-2013, 02:23 PM	#11
L.A. Chieffan PLAY GOOD FOOTBALL Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: American Gardens Building Casino cash: $2688654	I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!
Posts: 17,400

08-21-2013, 02:24 PM	#12
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $-899412	Homestead me __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 33,353

08-21-2013, 02:28 PM	#14
kepp MVP Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $3459212	Would I be allowed to setup sharecropping parcels with the natives? I could also train an indigenous child to reboot my satellite connection every two hours.
Posts: 14,746