Chiefsplanet advice

[tooge]

Ok guys, had a conversation with my wife this morning that got my blood boiling. I think I need some blood pressure meds right now. Anyhow, so last Friday night, my 9 yo daughter was invited to a sleep over with some friends from her dance studio. They are all about the same age. The mother hosting the event is fairly involved in the dance studio functions. During the sleepover, the mover had a couple of girl friends over and they had some drinks and did jello shots. I know this because the dumbass posted it on facebook. Here's the bad part. They offered a jello shot to the girls. My daughter says MOST of them, including her didn't want one, but I'm just finding out about this incident this morning, and I'm ****ing livid. I went on her facebook, but decided I didn't want to piss my wife off and make my life hell, so I didn't try to "friend" her or message her in any way. My wife insists that she is going to talk to the dance studio about it, but is asking for me to not get involved. This is the type of behavior that turns little girls into pole dancing sluts. Here is her facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/events/2102.../#!/jade.krull

What should I do.

[LoneWolf]

What is with all the people wanting to run to the police on this issue? Are we afraid to have difficult converstations with people?

Go to the woman and tell her what your daughter told you. Let her know that this type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated again. Let her tell you her side of the story.

Who knows, it may have been a joke and she feels really bad about it afterward. She may just be a dumbass who needs to be told that she is a dumbass, but get all the facts before running to the police. Sometimes I think we have evolved into a nation of complete pussies.

[Rasputin]

I can't stand them damn dance mom kid shows on tv

Discuspting and spitting when I say that.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

What is with all the people wanting to run to the police on this issue? Are we afraid to have difficult converstations with people?

Go to the woman and tell her what your daughter told you. Let her know that this type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated again. Let her tell you her side of the story.

Who knows, it may have been a joke and she feels really bad about it afterward. She may just be a dumbass who needs to be told that she is a dumbass, but get all the facts before running to the police. Sometimes I think we have evolved into a nation of complete pussies.

Yeah, not going to the police. I'm guessing (hoping) that was the case with fake jello shots for the girls. That still doesn't make it OK in my book though. Again, children do what they see adults do, and even if the shots didn't have alcohol in them, it is wrong to have little girls doing acts like things that big girls do to get drunk. I'm guessing this mom is in ler late 20's/early 30's. Regardless, old enough to know better. I will be discussing this with her at some point. I'm old enough to be her father, so thats the tone I will use.

[RealSNR]

Start a poll among the other parents asking if the jello shot mother should be banned from dance functions.

[mikeyis4dcats.]

Originally Posted by LoneWolf

What is with all the people wanting to run to the police on this issue? Are we afraid to have difficult converstations with people?

Go to the woman and tell her what your daughter told you. Let her know that this type of behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated again. Let her tell you her side of the story.

Who knows, it may have been a joke and she feels really bad about it afterward. She may just be a dumbass who needs to be told that she is a dumbass, but get all the facts before running to the police. Sometimes I think we have evolved into a nation of complete pussies.

If it was my kid and her kid, that is one thing. But when a mother provides (or appears to have provided) numerous children (CHILDREN!, not teenagers, CHILDREN) with alcohol, then it IS time to escalate beyond parent to parent.

[mikeyis4dcats.]

BTW, she's an ugly ho.

[blaise]

I always thought jello shots were kind of stupid anyway.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by tooge

Not normally, no. That guy came at me and assaulted me. I'm wasn't going to just stand there. This is obviously different. I'm going to let me wife handle it for now and ask for an update tonight. It needs to be handled right now though. I would like to discuss this with the mother that did this however at some point. I think she should hear a fathers view of this. When I say I'm pretty pissed off, I would think anyone would be, so I don't think that is out of the ordinary. My wife is pissed at herself for letting my daughter go over there, knowing this gal is a flake. I told her that you cant always predict the stupid shit that some human beings are possible of doing.

Just between us, if I knew nobody was watching, I'd shove about 50 jello shots up her ass. No, wait, she might enjoy that. I'd give her a jelly donut.

You know that I have to bust your balls forever about that, right?

But no, seriously, go wreck that chick. I'd be super pissed and I wouldn't really trust your wife to do anything but kind of skirt around the subject in a passive aggressive way (although I don't know your wife).

[threebag]

Is the mom hot?

[blaise]

Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats.

If it was my kid and her kid, that is one thing. But when a mother provides (or appears to have provided) numerous children (CHILDREN!, not teenagers, CHILDREN) with alcohol, then it IS time to escalate beyond parent to parent.

Yeah, but I would try and get her story because you could be ruining some lady's reputation based on something a 9 year old said.

One of my kid's teachers once said something I thought was pretty smart - "I won't automatically everything your kid says about you is true, if you don't automatically believe everything they say about me is true."

The woman obviously has bad judgement to do jello shots and then offer the kids jello, but I'd want to hear her talk before I called the cops.

[L.A. Chieffan]

I was wondering why they would have a sleep over and be moving on top of that. Seems inconvenient timing. Plus the movers they hired are drinking on the job? Yeah I'd be pretty upset too.

[KCGal]

If someone offered my nine year old 4th grade nieces alcohol I would be livid. The fact that she posted pictures on Facebook tells me that she thinks it was cute and not wrong. She needs a reality check not just a dont do this again chat. I would tell her I'm considering going to the police to put a scare in her. Then I prob wouldn't but hopefully she would get the point.

Dude a NINE year old! That is so wrong!

[Chiefshrink]

Baby and Luv have given good advice and I will piggyback off of them. Here's a curveball tooge. In our culture in America too many families let the wife lead the way,way too much and clean up all the messes(literally and figuratively) and especially when Dads are very pissed because Mom doesn't want Dad to lose his temper and the relational politics are not ruined. Women in general avoid conflict and it is very easy for them to smooth it out without real resolution and men in general just want to fight thus resolution is avoided as well.

However, you are an adult and you were wise enough to calm your emotions. I think both you and your wife need to show a united front with 'you' taking the lead. There is nothing more refreshing and desired by a wife than a husband who truly takes the lead for the family in most things good or bad. Men have gotten lazy in our society and let the wife pretty much do it all. Now I am not saying you are like this whatsoever but if I'm reading between the lines correctly here you not only want to be a part of this resolution but you actually want to take the lead because this is your little girl !! Correct ?

This is what 'real men' do and it will do wanders for your relationship with your wife as well as your family and you will find surprisingly that leadership is how we as men are wired and it feels more comfortable and more confident as time goes on if you are not doing this already. Again, I'm not saying you have this issue, I'm speaking in general here.

Just a thought

[T-post Tom]

Originally Posted by el borracho

1. Collect any evidence you can of the event (screen shots, testimony, etc.)
2. Call the police

This. And don't wait. The sooner you call the police, the better. Call them before she does it again and injures a little kid, or worse.

[L.A. Chieffan]

I hate it when my relationships wander.