Chiefsplanet advice

[Kiimo]

When I was a kid my parents were steadfast in not allowing sleepovers at all.

I hated it at the time but I fully plan on doing the same with my kids.

My dad's theory was nothing positive can happen at a sleepover that outweighs the negative that can happen when you let your children operate under someone else's rules for the night.

You no longer have control on what they watch, what they do, etc. You're now allowing someone else's morals to set the rules and frankly there are just too many idiots out there for my taste.

Of course it's easy to say as a single guy. :/

[DaneMcCloud]

Originally Posted by Kiimosabi

When I was a kid my parents were steadfast in not allowing sleepovers at all.

I hated it at the time but I fully plan on doing the same with my kids.

My dad's theory was nothing positive can happen at a sleepover that outweighs the negative that can happen when you let your children operate under someone else's rules for the night.

You no longer have control on what they watch, what they do, etc. You're now allowing someone else's morals to set the rules and frankly there are just too many idiots out there for my taste.

Of course it's easy to say as a single guy. :/

This is why you take time to get to know the parents before allowing a sleepover or play date.

Play dates can be had a neutral location like a park, where the parents can chat and the kids can have fun on the gym equipment. You can also invite them to your home for a play date or go to their home for a play date.

There are numerous "Mommy Groups" in Los Angeles and it's a great way for families to become familiar with each other. My wife's been a part of a group since my oldest was six months old and we've become good friends (if not close friends) in the five years since with many of the families.

All of that said, there's no way in the world I'd just let a child to go spend the night with a family in which I didn't know, especially the father, since I have girls.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

This is why you take time to get to know the parents before allowing a sleepover or play date.

Play dates can be had a neutral location like a park, where the parents can chat and the kids can have fun on the gym equipment. You can also invite them to your home for a play date or go to their home for a play date.

There are numerous "Mommy Groups" in Los Angeles and it's a great way for families to become familiar with each other. My wife's been a part of a group since my oldest was six months old and we've become good friends (if not close friends) in the five years since with many of the families.

All of that said, there's no way in the world I'd just let a child to go spend the night with a family in which I didn't know, especially the father, since I have girls.

Yeah, my bad on that one. Having said that, these girls have been friends for several years and my wife has known the mother for the same time. My wife is beating herself up over it, and while she probably should, I'm not pointing the finger at her.

[DaneMcCloud]

Originally Posted by tooge

Yeah, my bad on that one. Having said that, these girls have been friends for several years and my wife has known the mother for the same time. My wife is beating herself up over it, and while she probably should, I'm not pointing the finger at her.

Yeah, I wouldn't blame your wife. I wouldn't even be upset about drinking because they were likely drinking responsibly.

I'd be upset that the kids were offered the jello shot, if it were a serious offer. Not being there, I wouldn't have any idea. It could have been a harmless joke with no intent to share behind it.

Or, she could be a crazy-ass psycho bitch.

Either way, let us know how it turns out and good luck!

[tooge]

Originally Posted by DaneMcCloud

Yeah, I wouldn't blame your wife. I wouldn't even be upset about drinking because they were likely drinking responsibly.

I'd be upset that the kids were offered the jello shot, if it were a serious offer. Not being there, I wouldn't have any idea. It could have been a harmless joke with no intent to share behind it.

Or, she could be a crazy-ass psycho bitch.

Either way, let us know how it turns out and good luck!

Yeah, I will. I'm guessing the truth lies somewhere in the middle as it often does in these type of things.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Kiimosabi

When I was a kid my parents were steadfast in not allowing sleepovers at all.

I hated it at the time but I fully plan on doing the same with my kids.

My dad's theory was nothing positive can happen at a sleepover that outweighs the negative that can happen when you let your children operate under someone else's rules for the night.

You no longer have control on what they watch, what they do, etc. You're now allowing someone else's morals to set the rules and frankly there are just too many idiots out there for my taste.

Of course it's easy to say as a single guy. :/

I don't think I'd agree with your parents' strategy. You can't keep your kids in a bubble the whole time they're growing up. You could end up with socially awkward kids who don't have experience making their own decisions. Despite what you try as a parent, you can't always have control over what they watch, do, etc. All you can do is try your best to instill good values and ideals, and trust that they apply those to their own life when you're not around. Your kid is going to end up in situations that you don't approve of, no matter what you do. But if you do a good job of teaching them, your kid will apply your morals to set the rules despite the environment, and not just accept the morals of whoever's supervision they happen to be under at the time.

There are absolutely too many idiots out there. But you'll fail if you simply try to keep them away from the idiots, as opposed to teaching them how to deal with the idiots.