Home Discord Chat
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Nzoner's Game Room
Reload this Page Life How To Make Love To A Woman
Register FAQDonate Members List Calendar

Reply
Page 14 of 27 « First 410111213 14 1516171824 Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-13-2010, 11:20 AM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
Mammoth penis
 
MTG#10's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Springfield
Casino cash: $7014386
How To Make Love To A Woman
So this girl Ive been seeing for a while now is telling me she loves me and the next time she comes over (tomorrow night) she doesnt want me to **** her, she wants me to "make love to her". I haven't "made love" to someone in so long I don't think I remember how. Obviously it would come naturally if I was in love with her, but Im not so I need to fake this somehow. Any advice/tips would be appreciated.
Posts: 11,437
MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:41 PM   #196
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Supporter
 
Iowanian's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Casino cash: $1658454
For the 2nd time, if there has ever been a thread that had BigDaddy spinning into a velvet smoking jacket in a phone booth.....

He's probably having a ho pour him a chalice of cavasia as he dims the light next to his laptop to reply.

I'm pretty certain Barry White vinyl is turning on the 45.
Posts: 62,945
Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:43 PM   #197
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Supporter
 
Iowanian's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Casino cash: $1658454
You're a shitty wife
you know this of course
whore get your shit out
we're gettin' Divorced
Posts: 62,945
Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:43 PM   #198
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
oxymoron
 
keg in kc's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: OP/KC/Whatever
Casino cash: $9556299
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser View Post
Let the girl speak.
You know you don't have to let a girl speak. They never stop...

Say, maybe that's what mtg's girl wants, for him to listen to her during the act. To catch when she breathes things like "jesus, dude, that's my belly button" or "it's okay, baby, you can put the other inch in" or "can we do it doggy style, i want to pretend that you're anybody else".
Posts: 58,682
keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:46 PM   #199
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
Supporter
 
Iowanian's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Casino cash: $1658454
Nothing says "makin love" like a bad company 8 track and a complimentary 2ltr of Purple Passion....



Also, if katipan hasn't popped into this thread to yank some chains, she may indeed be in prison.
Posts: 62,945
Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.Iowanian is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:47 PM   #200
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
oxymoron
 
keg in kc's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: OP/KC/Whatever
Casino cash: $9556299
or a bottle of mad dog and a box of magnums. And some rubber bands.
Posts: 58,682
keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.keg in kc is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:48 PM   #201
Bowser Bowser is offline
sorta mod-ish
 
Bowser's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: KC North
Casino cash: $-248384
Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
You know you don't have to let a girl speak. They never stop...

Say, maybe that's what mtg's girl wants, for him to listen to her during the act. To catch when she breathes things like "jesus, dude, that's my belly button" or "it's okay, baby, you can put the other inch in" or "can we do it doggy style, i want to pretend that you're anybody else".
LOL

I say we find out who she is, and forward this thread to her to show just how much MTG cares for her, that he would go to us, his trusted confidantes, to glean this inside information....
Posts: 106,915
Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.Bowser is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:50 PM   #202
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
Woman should only make babies
 
Demonpenz's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Apartment "G UNIT!"
Casino cash: $-423864
CoMochief showed bogey where the g spot is
__________________
Posts: 54,959
Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Demonpenz is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:53 PM   #203
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
Kindness in words...
 
Saccopoo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Zion
Casino cash: $10025483
You want to make love to her? Have her come over to your place, set yourself up with a couple rack o' pounders (16 oz. cans), a pizza and a fist full of porn. Sit her down, look deep into her eyes and tell her that while she has expressed the "I love you sentiment.", you don't feel that way about her, think it would be best for her from a long term perspective to move on. She leaves, you have a pizza, get drunk, jerk it, and fall asleep happy. It's a win/win for everyone.

Case in point, I was dating a girl who at one point asked me to tell her that I loved her, even though she knew I didn't just so she could hear the words from me. I broke up with her that night, because I knew I would never get to that point with her from an emotional honesty perspective. She's now in a very happy long term relationship with a good guy, and I don't have to deal with her goofy little idiosyncrasies that were never going to truly let me love her. Like I said, win/win.
Posts: 15,450
Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Saccopoo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:55 PM   #204
Fish Fish is offline
Ain't no relax!
 
Fish's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $-1481081
Quote:
Originally Posted by phisherman View Post
nate and i sometimes end up in the same group at golf league.

now every time i see him, i'm going to think of his post. for that matter, i believe that i will harass him about it eternally.


I'll try to remember to mention this next time you step onto the tee..... then throw a disposable razor at you....
__________________
Posts: 48,889
Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 04:56 PM   #205
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
Mammoth penis
 
MTG#10's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Springfield
Casino cash: $7014386
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCUnited View Post
Pregnancy attempt, I'd bounce.
No, her tubes are tied

Quote:
Originally Posted by wild1 View Post
YOu were married for a decade and don't know the meaning of this?
It came natural with my wife because I was in love with her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv View Post
You've really become a douche.
I know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv View Post
I'm sure his "for awhile now" is probably a month. Takes me a lot longer to start saying I love someone.
Actually 2 but I do really like this girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sedated View Post
maybe this is her way of politely telling you that she'd like it to last longer than 2 minutes.
No I take so long she gets sore and half the time we have to stop before I get off...Ive always had that problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyton75 View Post
Maybe she just wants you to manscape
Nope Im always neat and trimmed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilly View Post
works for me.



In all honesty, just take your time on her. Be gentle, but firm. Explore her body, not just the good parts, every inch of it. Take the time for a shower, light candles, make the house look good, manscape a little. Give her something elegant, yet sexy to wear......not the pleather you are accustomed to. Forget about yourself for a while and focus completely on her and enjoy her body as if it's one of the best movies you've ever watched, one of those types of movies where you feel like you have to watch it again in order to get in every single detail. Slow, sultry, erotic.
Best advice yet. Rep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by |Zach| View Post
You still let these women hang around your kids?
Only one has met my kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
That's her way of telling you she wants to strap-on and **** you up the ass.


Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
You know you don't have to let a girl speak. They never stop...

Say, maybe that's what mtg's girl wants, for him to listen to her during the act. To catch when she breathes things like "jesus, dude, that's my belly button" or "it's okay, baby, you can put the other inch in" or "can we do it doggy style, i want to pretend that you're anybody else".
Ouch
Posts: 11,437
MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 05:07 PM   #206
Nzoner Nzoner is offline
a haw haw haw
 
Nzoner's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: MIZZOU
Casino cash: $26365802
Quote:
Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post
I dont know if I can keep it hard if I have to go slow and pretend I love her.
I'd like to decipher this post.....

"This chick is so focking butt ugly that I have to rabbit fock her or the very least drape an American flag over her face so I can feel like I'm doing my duty and focking her for my country."
__________________
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Posts: 27,111
Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.Nzoner is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 05:10 PM   #207
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
21st Century Schizoid Fan
 
siberian khatru's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: The Gates of Delirium
Casino cash: $-1405050
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser View Post
Only on ChiefsPlanet does the general consensus believe that making love to a woman is not only stretching out her ass and plowing for oil, but cleaning it up afterwards as well. Heh.
Hey, call me a romantic.
Posts: 71,920
siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.siberian khatru is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 05:10 PM   #208
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
Mammoth penis
 
MTG#10's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Springfield
Casino cash: $7014386
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nzoner View Post
I'd like to decipher this post.....

"This chick is so focking butt ugly that I have to rabbit fock her or the very least drape an American flag over her face so I can feel like I'm doing my duty and focking her for my country."


No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
Posts: 11,437
MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 05:10 PM   #209
NewChief NewChief is offline
In Search of a Life
 
NewChief's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Casino cash: $7120204
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
I've said for years that I want to develop a line for those moments that Hallmark just can't address.

The "You need to go to the free clinic and get this antibiotic injection" card
the "Hey, did you give me herpes" card

I've got a million of them, complete with poetry like you'd expect.
My wife's company would probably hire you. That's along the lines of some of the stuff they do:

http://www.fresh-ink.com/nbholidaynapkins.html
__________________
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken
Posts: 21,845
NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.NewChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2010, 05:16 PM   #210
|Zach| |Zach| is offline
For The Glory Of The City
 
|Zach|'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Kansas City
Casino cash: $3006768
Quote:
Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post


No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
Seems like you are rushing the sex.
Posts: 54,754
|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.|Zach| is obviously part of the inner Circle.
     Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 14 of 27 « First 410111213 14 1516171824 Last »

« Previous Thread | > Nzoner's Game Room < | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:17 PM.

Contact Us - ChiefsPlanet - Archive - Top

This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Advertise with us!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.