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Old 01-13-2010, 11:20 AM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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How To Make Love To A Woman
So this girl Ive been seeing for a while now is telling me she loves me and the next time she comes over (tomorrow night) she doesnt want me to **** her, she wants me to "make love to her". I haven't "made love" to someone in so long I don't think I remember how. Obviously it would come naturally if I was in love with her, but Im not so I need to fake this somehow. Any advice/tips would be appreciated.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:16 PM   #211
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No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
Interesting. Booze doesn't help?
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:17 PM   #212
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:18 PM   #213
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you know how I know you're gay?
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:20 PM   #214
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:23 PM   #215
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Originally Posted by Bowser View Post
Interesting. Booze doesn't help?
Yeah sometimes it does. With the staying hard anyway, not with getting off.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:24 PM   #216
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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My wife's company would probably hire you. That's along the lines of some of the stuff they do:

http://www.fresh-ink.com/nbholidaynapkins.html

Maybe you should link her to my Pooetry and tell her to call me.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:27 PM   #217
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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This is called the "Venus Butterfly", but not my variation of it...if she doesn't think you love her after this, she's probably got a disorder of some kind.

1.Kiss and caress your lover passionately to get her juices flowing.
2.Give her oral sex slowly teasing her Yoni/Vagina with your tongue.
3.Gently pull back her clitoral hood.
4.Stimulate it with your tongue until she reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being orgasm.
5.Move away from the clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of her Yoni in circular motions.
6.Return to clitoris stimulation as above until she reaches a 9 on her pleasure scale.
7.Ask her if she is ready for you to enter her Yoni to find and stimulate her G-spot.
8.Continue to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue, while tapping her G-spot with your finger(s) simultaneously.
9.If all goes well, she will have a mind-blowing, body-melting internal and external orgasm resulting in multiple orgasms.
10.Ask her for verbal feedback as you cup one of your hands over her Yoni gently to hold the sexual energy within.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:31 PM   #218
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Originally Posted by Slayer View Post
This is called the "Venus Butterfly", but not my variation of it...if she doesn't think you love her after this, she's probably got a disorder of some kind.

1.Kiss and caress your lover passionately to get her juices flowing.
2.Give her oral sex slowly teasing her Yoni/Vagina with your tongue.
3.Gently pull back her clitoral hood.
4.Stimulate it with your tongue until she reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being orgasm.
5.Move away from the clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of her Yoni in circular motions.
6.Return to clitoris stimulation as above until she reaches a 9 on her pleasure scale.
7.Ask her if she is ready for you to enter her Yoni to find and stimulate her G-spot.
8.Continue to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue, while tapping her G-spot with your finger(s) simultaneously.
9.If all goes well, she will have a mind-blowing, body-melting internal and external orgasm resulting in multiple orgasms.
10.Ask her for verbal feedback as you cup one of your hands over her Yoni gently to hold the sexual energy within.
That's great advice and all, but I read on ChiefsPlanet that she won't love you until her ass has been violated and stretched out in an unholy fashion.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:35 PM   #219
Jilly Jilly is offline
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That's great advice and all, but I read on ChiefsPlanet that she won't love you until her ass has been violated and stretched out in an unholy fashion.
It's a true story. All that other shit is just way too complicated....****ing pulling back the clitoral hood? What? That shit's there for a reason...DON"T TOUCH IT.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:37 PM   #220
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It's a true story. All that other shit is just way too complicated....****ing pulling back the clitoral hood? What? That shit's there for a reason...DON"T TOUCH IT.
It's not the pulling back that gets them. It's the clamping it in place with a clothespin that seems to bring the most discomfort. No tthat I would ever do such a thing, of course. This is so I'm told.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:39 PM   #221
Jilly Jilly is offline
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It's not the pulling back that gets them. It's the clamping it in place with a clothespin that seems to bring the most discomfort. No tthat I would ever do such a thing, of course. This is so I'm told.
Well, you were told right.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:40 PM   #222
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I actually really like her though and could see myself possibly falling in love with her some day...Im just not there yet.
On second thought, don't use the "Venus Butterfly" on her...save it for a woman you actually want to be with.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:40 PM   #223
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:42 PM   #224
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8.Continue to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue, while tapping her G-spot with your finger(s) simultaneously.
I prefer "Smoke on the Water," but sometimes for variety I'll perform Debussy's "Nocturnes."
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:45 PM   #225
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It's a true story. All that other shit is just way too complicated....****ing pulling back the clitoral hood? What? That shit's there for a reason...DON"T TOUCH IT.
Yeah, I think that part was just in the instructions for the sake of knowing where to find the spot. And, BTW, it's not there so nobody ever touches it, it's to hide it so the guy has to explore with patience instead of ****ing. Hell, hit the right nerve, and it's just as good as the G-spot, but without having to penetrate....
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