Poop Frazod's Epic Grill Disaster - Page 2

Frazod · 08-01-2010, 08:36 PM

I'll probably regret posting this, but what the hell. I'm sure you guys can use a good laugh for the next few years. This one may surpass the refrigerator, since the appliance in question did not survive.

Yesterday, as I spent about an hour cleaning my grill, I thought that it might be nice to get a new one at some point. The grill is nine years old, a bit worse for wear, small and lacking any extras. I use it pretty much daily during the summer. So today, I planned to grill chicken for lunch. I store my grilling tools inside the grill when not in use, and remove them when I'm cooking. Well, this day, I removed all but one.

It was sunny, so I had my sunglasses on. The inside of the grill is black, and so was the handle of the plastic grill brush/scraper that I neglected to remove from the back of the top rack. I should have known it was there, but I didn't see it. So I lit the burners and went back inside.

I come out a few minutes later with the food, open the lid and am greeted by a flaming mass of burning, melting plastic. Turning off the burners does not stop it. Flaming goo is starting to drip through the holes at the bottom onto the mat. The wife is freaking out, and I run for the fire extinguisher, which I'd never used before. The second lesson I learned today is if you're aiming a chemical extinguisher into an enclosed space, you might want to stand back a bit. Soon the grill, the deck and myself were enveloped in a cloud of white flame reerunant which I can still taste a bit as I type this. But the fire's out. The grill was, needless to say, a loss - I doubt if I could have ever effectively cleaned all that melted burned plastic out of it and had no desire to eat toxic fumes with my food.

****.

So the old grill is on the curb waiting for the garbage man, and after a trip to Home Depot and a couple of annoying hours of assembly I now have the brand new, large grill with a thermostat and a side burner that I pondered buying yesterday (grills tend to be on sale this time of year, too!). I already broke it in too - it rocks! I also have a new scraper with a WOODEN handle.

So I guess all's well that ends well. I'll file this under MISTAKES YOU ONLY MAKE ONCE, and feel relieved that I didn't burn my ****ing building down. And I assume my wife will quit busting my balls at some point in the next decade or so.

So how was your Sunday?

**2112** · 08-01-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Do you live in an apartment? I'm surprised grills aren't banned from balconies, they have been here for years.

That's interesting. a friend of mine living in a town home said the association would not allow Grill ''Tanks'' on the balconies or decks. but direct gas lines were ok.

**2112** · 08-01-2010, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Townhouse with an uncovered deck. A bunch of ****wits tried to push that grill ban through here a few years ago but they got stomped hard.

It's usually a fire code from the city you live in. I think.

**Bugeater** · 08-01-2010, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Townhouse with an uncovered deck. A bunch of ****wits tried to push that grill ban through here a few years ago but they got stomped hard.

Ah, gotcha. I'm not sure if the city ordinance here applies to townhomes or not. Luckily I don't need to worry about it anymore.

Frazod · 08-01-2010, 09:19 PM

Naperville's pretty conservative. We occasionally get dumb**** liberal nanny laws imposed on us by the People's Republik of Illinois, but rarely do we impose them on ourselves.

**2112** · 08-01-2010, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

Ah, gotcha. I'm not sure if the city ordinance here applies to townhomes or not. Luckily I don't need to worry about it anymore.

Dude, do you actually have a mail man in that one horse town you live in? or do you have to go to the post office to pick up your mail?

**DeezNutz** · 08-01-2010, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Yeah, I didn't dick around replacing it - I was putting the new one together within an hour of nuking the old one.

Had a similar experience. I will chide you, however, for not purchasing an "already assembled" grill.

When I had a grill go flaming tits up, I, too, was at Home Depot immediately, rented their truck, and drove home a new and improved baby.

Frazod · 08-01-2010, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Had a similar experience. I will chide you, however, for not purchasing an "already assembled" grill.

When I had a grill go flaming tits up, I, too, was at Home Depot immediately, rented their truck, and drove home a new and improved baby.

I look at it as a sort of penance for being an epic dumbass (I HATE assembling stuff like that).

All things considered, it wasn't that bad. The box didn't fit in the trunk, so I just tied it to the roof the car and brought it home myself.

**notorious** · 08-01-2010, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

My electricity lesson at 11 was don't piss on an electric fence. OWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Yes.

I introduced myself to a cattle fence in that manner when I was 8-9.

It feels like someone is beating you on the back of the neck with a bat. NOT COOL!

'Hamas' Jenkins · 08-01-2010, 09:36 PM

About a year ago, my wife decided to reheat one of those Pizza Hut Tuscani Pastas in our toaster oven. What she didn't realize is that the paper lid of the pasta container, and the electric heating element 1 centimeter away from said lid do not play well together.

The toaster oven survived, but the bucket of water a launched in our kitchen into the climbing flames caused a hell of a mess.

The pasta was a loss.

Demonpenz · 08-01-2010, 09:37 PM

i just started baking after many times grills doing wierd stuff on me

Frazod · 08-01-2010, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

About a year ago, my wife decided to reheat one of those Pizza Hut Tuscani Pastas in our toaster oven. What she didn't realize is that the paper lid of the pasta container, and the electric heating element 1 centimeter away from said lid do not play well together.

The toaster oven survived, but the bucket of water a launched in our kitchen into the climbing flames caused a hell of a mess.

The pasta was a loss.

You should get one of those fire extinguishers. That's really fun to clean up after.

Al Bundy · 08-01-2010, 09:42 PM

One time a few years ago I was hanging a new chandelier. I figured I had hit the right switch in the basement to turn the electricity off.. I didn't, I was sent to the floor with I dont know how many volts flowing through my body.

Groves · 08-01-2010, 09:44 PM

So while you're fresh off the new grill boat, what's the latest in grills these days? Any features falling into the "must have" category or are the spendy ones just like the cheap ones with more flair?

**Bugeater** · 08-01-2010, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

I look at it as a sort of penance for being an epic dumbass (I HATE assembling stuff like that).

All things considered, it wasn't that bad. The box didn't fit in the trunk, so I just tied it to the roof the car and brought it home myself.

Heh, we got some bigass deluxe grill with the extra burner and all that for a wedding gift. I started assembling it and about 3 pages into the instructions, shit wasn't making sense. It was then I realized that the goddamn instruction booklet had the pages in the wrong ****ing order, so I had to tear everything back down I had done to that point and start over. Oh, and that was after I took apart the booklet and put the pages in the right order.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 08-01-2010, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

You should get one of those fire extinguishers. That's really fun to clean up after.

If I bought a fire extinguisher, I'd just be tempted to jam it up John Mozeliak's ass.

08-01-2010, 08:36 PM
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-766615	Frazod's Epic Grill Disaster I'll probably regret posting this, but what the hell. I'm sure you guys can use a good laugh for the next few years. This one may surpass the refrigerator, since the appliance in question did not survive. Yesterday, as I spent about an hour cleaning my grill, I thought that it might be nice to get a new one at some point. The grill is nine years old, a bit worse for wear, small and lacking any extras. I use it pretty much daily during the summer. So today, I planned to grill chicken for lunch. I store my grilling tools inside the grill when not in use, and remove them when I'm cooking. Well, this day, I removed all but one. It was sunny, so I had my sunglasses on. The inside of the grill is black, and so was the handle of the plastic grill brush/scraper that I neglected to remove from the back of the top rack. I should have known it was there, but I didn't see it. So I lit the burners and went back inside. I come out a few minutes later with the food, open the lid and am greeted by a flaming mass of burning, melting plastic. Turning off the burners does not stop it. Flaming goo is starting to drip through the holes at the bottom onto the mat. The wife is freaking out, and I run for the fire extinguisher, which I'd never used before. The second lesson I learned today is if you're aiming a chemical extinguisher into an enclosed space, you might want to stand back a bit. Soon the grill, the deck and myself were enveloped in a cloud of white flame reerunant which I can still taste a bit as I type this. But the fire's out. The grill was, needless to say, a loss - I doubt if I could have ever effectively cleaned all that melted burned plastic out of it and had no desire to eat toxic fumes with my food. **. So the old grill is on the curb waiting for the garbage man, and after a trip to Home Depot and a couple of annoying hours of assembly I now have the brand new, large grill with a thermostat and a side burner that I pondered buying yesterday (grills tend to be on sale this time of year, too!). I already broke it in too - it rocks! I also have a new scraper with a WOODEN handle. So I guess all's well that ends well. I'll file this under MISTAKES YOU ONLY MAKE ONCE, and feel relieved that I didn't burn my **ing building down. And I assume my wife will quit busting my balls at some point in the next decade or so. So how was your Sunday?
Posts: 121,769

08-01-2010, 09:19 PM	#19
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-766615	Naperville's pretty conservative. We occasionally get dumb**** liberal nanny laws imposed on us by the People's Republik of Illinois, but rarely do we impose them on ourselves.
Posts: 121,769

08-01-2010, 09:36 PM	#24
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7149572	About a year ago, my wife decided to reheat one of those Pizza Hut Tuscani Pastas in our toaster oven. What she didn't realize is that the paper lid of the pasta container, and the electric heating element 1 centimeter away from said lid do not play well together. The toaster oven survived, but the bucket of water a launched in our kitchen into the climbing flames caused a hell of a mess. The pasta was a loss. __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 75,083

08-01-2010, 09:37 PM	#25
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-383864	i just started baking after many times grills doing wierd stuff on me __________________
Posts: 54,956

08-01-2010, 09:42 PM	#27
Al Bundy Damnit Peg Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $3391831	One time a few years ago I was hanging a new chandelier. I figured I had hit the right switch in the basement to turn the electricity off.. I didn't, I was sent to the floor with I dont know how many volts flowing through my body.
Posts: 23,646

08-01-2010, 09:44 PM	#28
Groves Turning the Corner Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Springfield, Missouri Casino cash: $-921459	So while you're fresh off the new grill boat, what's the latest in grills these days? Any features falling into the "must have" category or are the spendy ones just like the cheap ones with more flair?
Posts: 2,390