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View Poll Results: He's coming up the stairs. What do you do?
I hide at the top of the stairs and stab him with the Bowie knife with the element of surprise. 8 14.81%
I hide at the top of the stairs and bonk him in the face with the baseball bat with the element of surprise. 28 51.85%
I hide at the top of the stairs without a weapon and attempt to shove him down the stairs with the element of surprise. 1 1.85%
I stand 12 feet back in the room with the Bowie knife, ready to hold my ground and scare him off or capture him. 1 1.85%
I stand 12 feet back in the room with the baseball bat, ready to hold my ground and scare him off or capture him. 1 1.85%
I stand 12 feet back in the room with the fake shotgun, ready to hold my ground and scare him off or capture him. 1 1.85%
I stand 12 feet back in the room unarmed, ready to hold my ground and scare him off or capture him or reason with him. 0 0%
I go to the top of the stairs with the Bowie knife, and announce that I am holding my ground. 1 1.85%
I go to the top of the stairs with the baseball bat, and announce that I am holding my ground. 4 7.41%
I go to the top of the stairs with the fake shotgun, and announce that I am holding my ground. 1 1.85%
I go to the top of the stairs unarmed, and announce that I am holding my ground as a martial arts expert and former Army Ranger. 0 0%
I take the Bowie knife and hide in the closet hoping to avoid a confrontation. 0 0%
I take the baseball bat and hide in the closet hoping to avoid a confrontation. 0 0%
I take the fake shotgun and hide in the closet hoping to avoid a confrontation. 0 0%
I hide in the closet unarmed hoping to avoid a confrontation. 0 0%
I jump out the window to escape. 3 5.56%
I break into a song and dance with the intent to mesmerize him until I can make my escape. 2 3.70%
I stab myself with the Bowie knife so the idiot will get put away for murder. 3 5.56%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-22-2013, 10:35 PM   #1
KChiefer KChiefer is offline
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Where's the " at the top of the stairs, hit 'em with the fake shotgun" option???
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:54 PM   #2
Just Passin' By Just Passin' By is offline
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Baseball bat + top of stairs = dead intruder
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:57 PM   #3
Mav Mav is offline
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Im dancing the funky chicken in such a horrible white boy dance that makes him rake his own eyes out and beg me to call the police.
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:28 AM   #4
Sandy Vagina Sandy Vagina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Passin' By View Post
Baseball bat + top of stairs = dead intruder
This for sure.

I'd be stealthy about it, just in case. If it were just me, maybe I entertain the thought of intimidation first. Not going to put my family at risk for fun, so I would use the element of surprise and smash him with the bat as he nears the top.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:10 PM   #5
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Tl:dr on the scenario. I did go over to the ex's 2 hours ago with a 6 iron, however.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:10 PM   #6
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I'd just throw the futon down the stairs. Gonna be hard to survive that.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:40 AM   #7
COchief COchief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gochiefs(exceptQB) View Post
I'd just throw the futon down the stairs. Gonna be hard to survive that.
Don't you mean "up the stairs"?

Mom's basement jokes never get old...
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:43 AM   #8
Sandy Vagina Sandy Vagina is offline
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Don't you mean "up the stairs"?

Mom's basement jokes never get old...
also a winner!
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:10 PM   #9
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:35 PM   #10
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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We also need a "strip naked throw alka-seltzer tablets in your mouth and charge him yelling 'Bath Salts'" at the top of your lungs option.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:36 PM   #11
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We also need a "strip naked throw alka-seltzer tablets in your mouth and charge him yelling 'Bath Salts'" at the top of your lungs option.
For the WIN.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:52 PM   #12
ClevelandBronco ClevelandBronco is offline
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Too late. He killed me while I was reading all that.
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:58 PM   #13
Kaepernick Kaepernick is offline
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You forgot an option:

Shoot with spare gun hidden away from ball-and-chain.


Another option:

Divorce wife, keep gun.
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:20 AM   #14
Raiderhater Raiderhater is offline
Tried it on and it fit
 
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You forgot an option:

Shoot with spare gun hidden away from ball-and-chain.


Another option:

Divorce wife, keep gun.

This was going to be my response.
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Old 08-23-2013, 12:02 AM   #15
KCrockaholic KCrockaholic is offline
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I've always had a fantasy about beating the ****ing shit out of someone with a baseball bat. This would be my chance.
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