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Old 07-14-2018, 01:08 AM  
baitism baitism is offline
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Divorce....
Well, yeah it sucks. Could someone who has been through a divorce with a spouse that was cheating send me a PM? Kansas laws. I need to get the hell out of this situation and could use some advice. Thanks.
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Old 07-19-2018, 11:46 PM   #361
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IDK how people don't set these kind of boundaries immediately in the first year of marriage. Your wife shouldn't be out past midnight with the 'girls' if alcohol is involved and it's without you. Maybe once or twice a month sure if a reasonable circumstance provides itself. But once you're married that shit needs to drop especially when kids come through.

I'm betting money she wouldn't like it if the scenarios were switched. Should definitely bring that shit up in counseling. Marriages are built on compromises.

And just a hint of advice here I do warn you now that she's cheated and managed to get you back your value is immediately lower. Might not notice it immediately but it is. I know it's butterflies and rainbows at the moment but this will fade and when it does just don't let her turn you into her lapdog bitch. She'll love you more for it later if you don't.
I don't believe Rico mentioned her cheating, unless I missed it.
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Old 07-19-2018, 11:47 PM   #362
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Old 07-20-2018, 12:02 AM   #363
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Originally Posted by TimBone View Post
I don't believe Rico mentioned her cheating, unless I missed it.
You are correct.
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Old 07-20-2018, 12:02 AM   #364
rico rico is offline
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Average distance between ass and face upon wake up?
Like a half inch.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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Old 07-20-2018, 12:13 AM   #365
rico rico is offline
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The worst phase was the first couple years I started working at my current employer...she was a bartender. And she would drink on the job. Her excuse for that is that many customers tip better if you do shots with them. Anyways, I mentioned that she is the type who, when she has one drink, wants to keep going until morning... yeah, the bartending days were a BITCH. I was totally distracted at my job.

On the bright side, she doesn’t pull this as much anymore. We have 7,6 and 1.5 year old daughters....she stopped doing this as much when she became pregnant with the 1 year old. So the “bartending” phase while I’m working 3rd shift are over. Thank God.

ThaVirus: Yes she finds sitters. No my issue isn’t that I envious that she is out when I want to be. It’s that no man should have to stew all night at work (providing for the family) wondering what in the hell is going on.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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Old 07-20-2018, 12:14 AM   #366
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by lewdog View Post
Going on a night out with girlfriends occasionally. Totally cool.

Doing it multiple times per week. At the age of 35. Married with kids.

That's odd and a bit troubling.
This.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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Old 07-20-2018, 12:16 AM   #367
rico rico is offline
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Not only that but also "why is she being so viscous, greedy, selfish, and full of hate? WTF did I do?"

What I saw from her during that time, and the proceeding child support ****ery, made it real easy to get over her.

My life is much better than hers. So it's cool.
I experienced those thoughts as well in my brief encounter.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-20-2018, 12:20 AM   #368
rico rico is offline
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Originally Posted by ThaVirus View Post
We really don't have enough information and I doubt we'd get it all from hearing one side of the story anyway.. but, unless I missed a post or two, Rico hasn't mentioned a damn thing about her being a bad mother or skipping out on her parental duties. He's solely upset that she's out partying while he's not able to, at the same time admitting that he also loves to be out late partying.

I'm only speaking to those who said he needs to reign that shit in and that a married woman has no reason to be out past midnight. That's pretty ridiculous.
I don’t party like I did in college. I work every night. Yeah, I like to party, but it’s become a special occasion/once in a while type thing. It’s not prioritized. And again, I am not upset at all because I am “not able to.” Seriously? It’s because I am working all night wondering what the **** is going on.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-20-2018, 12:32 AM   #369
rico rico is offline
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One thing that I firmly believe contributes to this is the way she was raised. Her dad is at a dive bar every...single...night. He has been for decades...and he brought her in to those dive bars all the time since she was a little girl. I’m not shitting you, my wife learned to drive at age 8... why so young? Because she would have to give her dad a ride home from these dive bars when he was shitfaced. No joke.

So there is a cultural component to this.

She is a lot like her dad in the way where a large part of the reason she wants to go out is because she is very social and she HATES missing out on things. Like if something funny or crazy happened and she wasn’t there to see it, it drives her nuts. Her dad is the same way.

She is not like her dad in the way that she would ever have our 7 year old daughter drive her home because she is drunk. She is a good mommy.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-20-2018, 12:43 AM   #370
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Like a half inch.
That’s close.
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Old 07-20-2018, 02:35 AM   #371
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She could reach the pedals when she was 8?
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Old 07-20-2018, 02:55 AM   #372
rico rico is offline
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She could reach the pedals when she was 8?
Yeah she was tall at 8. She hasn’t grown an inch since she was 10.
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rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.rico is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-20-2018, 02:56 AM   #373
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Rico I think it’s great that you are trying to make your marriage work and get better. I assume counseling will help with both you two as knowledge is power and that will help you two cope with challenges in the future.

The OP is in a crappy situation but like many have said there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was engaged for 5 years to what I thought was a great woman for me (she was smokin hot). As we grew we changed and broke off the engagement. Live and learn and a bit less paperwork! Many years later I am now engaged again and it feels right from my brain & hearts point of view.
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Old 07-20-2018, 03:12 AM   #374
rico rico is offline
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Rico I think it’s great that you are trying to make your marriage work and get better. I assume counseling will help with both you two as knowledge is power and that will help you two cope with challenges in the future.

The OP is in a crappy situation but like many have said there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was engaged for 5 years to what I thought was a great woman for me (she was smokin hot). As we grew we changed and broke off the engagement. Live and learn and a bit less paperwork! Many years later I am now engaged again and it feels right from my brain & hearts point of view.
This was very nice of you. Thank you for the encouraging words.
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Look, I dress like a 50 year old lesbian.

http://facebook.com/thepindoctors
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Old 07-20-2018, 07:26 AM   #375
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See title of thread.
There's are a lot of steps between "my wife went out drinking without me" and "I want a divorce".
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