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Old 01-30-2009, 03:24 PM  
DJ's left nut DJ's left nut is offline
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Bill Simmons: Not a Chiefs fan...
From his chat today:

Quote:
Adam (Burtonsville MD): What the Chiefs did to you this season: (1) Ruined Tom Brady's 2008 (and career?) (2) Ruined your fantasy season (by the way, I'm still going to say clean hit just to preempt you...) (3) Took away Scott Pioli (4) Fired one of your go-to sources of comedy (albeit so go-to it was getting old for us Chiefs fans) Reaction?

Bill Simmons: I'm gonna be honest - I hate the Chiefs more than I've ever hated anyone. I am seriously thinking about going down to KC in August for an exhibition game with a vial of chicken blood and putting some sort of Haitian curse on their season.
Poor Bill, maybe he should go write about The Hills and covertly take swipes at Rick Reilly to assuage his angst...
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Old 01-30-2009, 08:55 PM   #31
BigMeatballDave BigMeatballDave is offline
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How do you hate a team that sucks?
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:15 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I have never in my entire life heard the name Bill Simmons.
This is not good, Mr. Rain Man. Not good at all.

When you weren't looking, Bill may have snuck up behind you and slapped the Curse of Random Deafness on your ass.

FAX
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:18 PM   #33
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Originally Posted by |Zach| View Post
I laughed.
Wow, i didnt realize you were capable of such meager things.
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Old 01-30-2009, 09:53 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Curing warts and dealing with mild insomnia, mainly, Mr. pestilenceaf23. It's more time-consuming than you might think. Do you have any idea how many ponds you have to visit to amass a half-pint of toad sweat? Plus, the little bastards hole up in the winter.

FAX
Welcome back dude. How is the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX doing?
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:03 PM   #35
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Welcome back dude. How is the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX doing?
Hey there, Mr. Frankie. Great to see you.

She's doing very well. Thanks for asking. Essentially, the docs have given her a green light to start living a normal life again. It was a trial, but she persevered and is now back to being herself. Almost. There are a couple of minor scars, but we've come up with a story having to do with a flat tire, a one-legged chicken, and a knife fight outside a Mexican bar that takes care of that. Otherwise, she's become a tad spoiled from all the attention, I think. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for "un-spoiling" a woman, would you?

FAX
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:04 PM   #36
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The Chiefs offense is a machine of focus, commitment, sheer will. It will come for you and you will do nothing. Because you can do nothing.
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burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.burt has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:18 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Hey there, Mr. Frankie. Great to see you.

She's doing very well. Thanks for asking. Essentially, the docs have given her a green light to start living a normal life again. It was a trial, but she persevered and is now back to being herself. Almost. There are a couple of minor scars, but we've come up with a story having to do with a flat tire, a one-legged chicken, and a knife fight outside a Mexican bar that takes care of that. Otherwise, she's become a tad spoiled from all the attention, I think. You wouldn't happen to have a cure for "un-spoiling" a woman, would you?

FAX
I dunno,... antifreeze?


OK, bad joke, but you know I didn't mean it. Fact is a good woman deserves to be spoiled every once in a while. The good ones don't STAY spoiled.
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:21 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
This is not good, Mr. Rain Man. Not good at all.

When you weren't looking, Bill may have snuck up behind you and slapped the Curse of Random Deafness on your ass.

FAX

This is disturbing. I just thought maybe the sound wasn't working on the TV tonight, and that my cat had lost his voice.
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:31 PM   #39
InChiefsHeaven InChiefsHeaven is offline
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Is Bill Simmons related to Richard Simmons??

...otherwise, I have no friggin' clue who this guy is...
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Old 01-30-2009, 10:46 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InChiefsHell View Post
Is Bill Simmons related to Richard Simmons??

...otherwise, I have no friggin' clue who this guy is...
I don't either, Mr. InChiefsHell. I had to look him up.

According to Wikipedia, he's some kind of sports writer or podcaster or something, is nicknamed "Sports Guy", and has a cat named "Purr" Simmons.

FAX
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Old 01-31-2009, 12:14 AM   #41
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I like Simmons, I think he can be funny, but he does kind of do the "(insert name of city) sucks"
Jacksonville as a Super Bowl city sucked, Houston sucked. I don't read him much anymore because I consider ESPN the MTV of sports, but I wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't taken some shots at Tampa this week. He's probably got a stock column about every city in the league, saying how bad it sucks, just in case he goes there. I'm not offended by him saying it, just that it's tired schtick.
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Old 01-31-2009, 12:34 AM   #42
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Bill Simmons is the best columnist in America. Followed closely by Whitlock.
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Old 01-31-2009, 12:46 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
Curing warts and dealing with mild insomnia, mainly, Mr. pestilenceaf23. It's more time-consuming than you might think. Do you have any idea how many ponds you have to visit to amass a half-pint of toad sweat? Plus, the little bastards hole up in the winter.

FAX
You must not be doing it right fax. I learned from my childhood in TN, that you shine a high powered flashlight in a frog's eyes, and he will not move. At that point you just walk up to him, pick him up, and wring him out like a wet rag.
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Old 01-31-2009, 02:10 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I have never in my entire life heard the name Bill Simmons.

1) This.


2) **** em'
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Old 01-31-2009, 02:17 AM   #45
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You must not be doing it right fax. I learned from my childhood in TN, that you shine a high powered flashlight in a frog's eyes, and he will not move. At that point you just walk up to him, pick him up, and wring him out like a wet rag.
Facts like this are why I love this place.

I learned something today.
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