Life If slavery was legal... - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 09-01-2009, 08:15 PM

Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to.

Background:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE.

In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY.

You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT.

Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK.

Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria.

Be honest. Would you buy one?

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE.

And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 09:26 PM

I want white slaves.

Is that wrong?

Coach · 09-01-2009, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

I want white slaves.

Is that wrong?

I wouldn't mind having some annoying ****ing celebs be a slave. Let's see how they like it living THAT lifestyle.

Pioli Zombie · 09-01-2009, 09:32 PM

Swiiing low....sweeeet chariot
Posted via Mobile Device

tiptap · 09-01-2009, 09:35 PM

Do I have to steal a 14 year old and put a sound proof compound in my back yard?

wild1 · 09-01-2009, 09:36 PM

I would also have them construct a pyramid.

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wild1

I would also have them construct a pyramid.

Oh, cool.

**RNR** · 09-01-2009, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

Hmm, this might lead to us burning Lawrence to the ground again. I'm in.

I am ready for a rematch and it has nothing to do with Lawrence, it is a Kansas thing

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedNeckRaider

I am ready for a rematch and it has nothing to do with Lawrence, it is a Kansas thing

You might want to take your ass back to Oakland.

Simply Red · 09-01-2009, 09:51 PM

Hoe's gotta eat too

JOhn · 09-01-2009, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedNeckRaider

I am ready for a rematch and it has nothing to do with Lawrence, it is a Karen thing

FYP

Good god, i really should let this go......

JOhn · 09-01-2009, 09:57 PM

Well since no one seems to own up.... I voted yes. The stip[ulation being that I could actually afford one.

Assuming I could, then yea I probably would. Of course I would buy some relly smoking hot chick, fall in love & then free and marry her. Of course I would then catch her sleeping with another slave, she would leave me & take all my shit!!!!

Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there for a moment.

But yea, If I was filthy rich or at least well off then damn right. What can I say?

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 09-01-2009, 10:31 PM

Prosperity in this country involves stepping on somebody's neck. Call it whatever you want.

Taco John · 09-01-2009, 10:45 PM

A personal assistant and a yard service would have a lot less overhead.

Taco John · 09-01-2009, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts

Prosperity in this country involves stepping on somebody's neck. Call it whatever you want.

That isn't true at all. But if you think it's true, that will be your experience - so in that sense, you're absolutely right.

Dottefan · 09-01-2009, 10:56 PM

What if Kim kardashian or some other hot chick gets picked for a slave... I would defiantly get one..but the best part would be to get some conservative GOP , birther, nut job as my own personal slave.

I would wip him until he says his name is Kunta,

and not Bob lol

View Poll Results: See Rules Below. Would you buy one?
Part 1. Would you buy one or more?	3	4.35%
Yes	20	28.99%
No	37	53.62%
Unsure.	3	4.35%
Part 2. If yes, why? Select the ONE main reason.	3	4.35%
It seems like a good economic investment.	9	13.04%
I could use the help.	12	17.39%
I would relish the absolute power.	4	5.80%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	1	1.45%
Part 3. If no, why not? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
I couldn't afford one.	8	11.59%
I don't need one.	8	11.59%
Slavery is wrong! WRONG! What kind of demented poll is this?	30	43.48%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	5	7.25%
Part 4. If unsure, why are you unsure? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
It seems wrong, but wow, it'd be soooo handy.	6	8.70%
I'd really like to know more about the shopping process.	2	2.90%
I'm not sure how history would judge me.	0	0%
I'm afraid of what I would do with absolute power, but I relish it.	1	1.45%
I'm not sure it's really a good deal, what with all this health care reform stuff and taxes.	1	1.45%
I'm unsure why I'm unsure.	0	0%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	3	4.35%
Part 5. Required apologies	3	4.35%
I'm checking this box as an apology for even thinking about this.	25	36.23%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 69. You may not vote on this poll

09-01-2009, 08:15 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-682449 VARSITY	If slavery was legal... Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to. Background: NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria. Be honest. Would you buy one? NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE. And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.
Posts: 145,512

09-01-2009, 09:26 PM	#31
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-786615	I want white slaves. Is that wrong?
Posts: 121,774

09-01-2009, 09:32 PM	#33
Pioli Zombie Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: olathe,kansas Casino cash: $10004900	Swiiing low....sweeeet chariot Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 11,077

09-01-2009, 09:35 PM	#34
tiptap Is this it? Join Date: Jan 2004 Casino cash: $10007847	Do I have to steal a 14 year old and put a sound proof compound in my back yard? __________________ Even a superstitious man has certain inalienable rights. He has a right to harbor and indulge his imbecilities as long as he pleases. . . He has a right to argue for them as eloquently as he can, in season and out of season. He has a right to teach them to his children. But certainly he has no right to be protected against the free criticism of those who do not hold them. He has no right to demand that they be treated as sacred. He has no right to preach them without challenge." -H.L. Mencken
Posts: 5,134

09-01-2009, 09:36 PM	#35
wild1 MVP Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: 31040 Casino cash: $10004900	I would also have them construct a pyramid.
Posts: 6,935

09-01-2009, 09:51 PM	#39
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	Hoe's gotta eat too
Posts: 71,691

09-01-2009, 09:57 PM	#41
JOhn El' Barto Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Cody, WY / Tucson AZ Casino cash: $9964900	Well since no one seems to own up.... I voted yes. The stip[ulation being that I could actually afford one. Assuming I could, then yea I probably would. Of course I would buy some relly smoking hot chick, fall in love & then free and marry her. Of course I would then catch her sleeping with another slave, she would leave me & take all my shit!!!! Sorry, kinda went on a tangent there for a moment. But yea, If I was filthy rich or at least well off then damn right. What can I say?
Posts: 25,529

09-01-2009, 10:45 PM	#43
Taco John Sapere Aude Join Date: Jun 2001 Casino cash: $427937	A personal assistant and a yard service would have a lot less overhead. __________________ Ehyeh asher ehyeh. Donger's Razor: "The most establishment-friendly explanation that gives leftist and neocon politicians the most amount of cover is the only possible explanation, even when gaping holes and leaps of logic are required to get there."
Posts: 79,765

09-01-2009, 10:56 PM	#45
Dottefan Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: FROM KCK, LIVIN N J\O Casino cash: $10004900	What if Kim kardashian or some other hot chick gets picked for a slave... I would defiantly get one..but the best part would be to get some conservative GOP , birther, nut job as my own personal slave. I would wip him until he says his name is Kunta, and not Bob lol
Posts: 1,295