Work social functions

[Titty Meat]

So my job is already planning their holiday party and the boss has came out and said any activity that involves drinking will require all employees to Uber. Which got me thinking of the one time an old job took a party bus to a Chiefs game and one of my co workers got so ****ing hammered she ended up being REAL flirty with all of the male employees and ended up puking her brains out and passing out on the ride back from the game.

People forget while these things are intended to be fun you're still at work by extension. What's your funny story about a social work function?

[KCrockaholic]

Just the boss getting grab ass handsy with a female coworker after a few beers. Typical stuff. But it was bad enough she had to ask me to walk her out to her car because he was going too far. Nobody got fired.

[KCUnited]

Fortunately I don't get invited to many as I'm remote but I've been to a few wild ones at my wife's former employer.

The very first one was about a month after they relocated us to Chicago. We didn't know anyone so thought it would be a good opportunity to meet some new people. They had an employee only dinner then met at a speakeasy where spouses were invited. I'm not sure who came up with it but the plan was to roast my wife's boss who was an exec and had hit a recent career milestone or something.

I showed up and was shocked at how wrecked everyone was coming from dinner. Their model is to hire right out of college and mold them into their culture. So lot of overserved young people were there.

The roast started with some teed up softball jokes then things started flowing into some pretty decent ball busting (foreshadowing pun intended). Things avalanched from there into complete awkwardness after that. Jokes about office affairs, his special needs brother who worked for the company (and was in attendence), his estranged wife, and battle with testicular cancer. It was a total bloodbath and you could see that he was getting heated.

We were like WTF. I went to a few more and turns out that's just who they are as a company culture. They all ended in a varying degree of shitshow.

[Skyy God]

We took some clients to a Cards game and proceeded to get shit hammered.

After subsequent bar hopping we walked them back to their hotel. I’m like 30 at the time, and a 40-ish adjuster clearly was down to clown. Got diverted from joining her in the hotel by a partner.

Probs for the best.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by KCUnited

Fortunately I don't get invited to many as I'm remote but I've been to a few wild ones at my wife's former employer.

The very first one was about a month after they relocated us to Chicago. We didn't know anyone so thought it would be a good opportunity to meet some new people. They had an employee only dinner then met at a speakeasy where spouses were invited. I'm not sure who came up with it but the plan was to roast my wife's boss who was an exec and had hit a recent career milestone or something.

I showed up and was shocked at how wrecked everyone was coming from dinner. Their model is to hire right out of college and mold them into their culture. So lot of overserved young people were there.

The roast started with some teed up softball jokes then things started flowing into some pretty decent ball busting (foreshadowing pun intended). Things avalanched from there into complete awkwardness after that. Jokes about office affairs, his special needs brother who worked for the company (and was in attendence), his estranged wife, and battle with testicular cancer. It was a total bloodbath and you could see that he was getting heated.

We were like WTF. I went to a few more and turns out that's just who they are as a company culture. They all ended in a varying degree of shitshow.

Dam Son.

[displacedinMN]

Words of advice for young people.

If you go to happy hour and and decide to talk about the company and clients.
DONT WEAR COMPANY APPAREL OR NAME TAGS.

We had a school do that. Parents were there and complained. It was ugly. HR got involved.

I have had to remind people of that at happy hours.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by displacedinMN

Words of advice for young people.

If you go to happy hour and and decide to talk about the company and clients.
DONT WEAR COMPANY APPAREL OR NAME TAGS.

We had a school do that. Parents were there and complained. It was ugly. HR got involved.

I have had to remind people of that at happy hours.

Sounds like you live in Karenville……

[seclark]

Before I retired from my job, we’d have a yearly party with workers, managers and the board of directors. Boring. We never mixed with them and they didn’t even know our names. It got so bad that the workers quit going until they were paid to show up just to make management look good.

My wife worked for a small accounting firm, and every Christmas we had their company party at our house and they all would bring bottles of booze for the bar downstairs and leave it sometimes unopened. Now that’s what I call a party!
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[displacedinMN]

Originally Posted by Skyy God

Sounds like you live in Karenville……

education is so under the gun...everyone looking to get you

[Red Dawg]

Originally Posted by Abba-Dabba

Don't drink at company parties. It is a must.

This is good advice. In fact, avoid them if possible.

[Bearcat]

I either work with a bunch of functioning alcoholics who can hold their liquor or I just leave too early to see the real fun..

[ThaVirus]

Personally I find people who can’t control their alcohol repulsive. It’s pathetic.

I couldn’t imagine showing my ass in a semi-professional setting because I had a couple drinks.

[AdolfOliverBush]

Originally Posted by TLO

I avoid work functions at all cost. I like my work to stay at work. When I'm off the clock, I don't want to spend time with people I work with every day.

Bingo. Hanging out with coworkers once you're over the age of 25 or so is lame as hell.

[notorious]

Getting laid chances skyrocket at those functions.

I worked in a bank while at college. 80% young women. Do the math.

[RockChalk]

Not a company I ever worked for, but Amarr Garage Door out of Lawrence had a massive reputation for their holiday parties being absolute shit show. At a minimum, there was at least one fight and one employee getting fired each year. They held their annual holiday party at Abe & Jakes. I was friends with the Abe's GM so I occasionally bartended it, and man those people drank an impressive amount of booze. Total disaster every year.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by RockChalk

Not a company I ever worked for, but Amarr Garage Door out of Lawrence had a massive reputation for their holiday parties being absolute shit show. At a minimum, there was at least one fight and one employee getting fired each year. They held their annual holiday party at Abe & Jakes. I was friends with the Abe's GM so I occasionally bartended it, and man those people drank an impressive amount of booze. Total disaster every year.

And yet they kept having them. Was it some sort of weeding-out process? Or did they just take sick pleasure in seeing who was going to implode each year?