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Old 09-15-2008, 08:17 PM  
Sully Sully is offline
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Weird Night
So I had to work pretty late, which is rough because my wife is due any minute, now...so everything in our life seems very up in the air. So I'm ina weird stae of mind, as it is...

I'm driving home, and my wife calls me in a panic. Obviously I'm thinking it's time to go to the hospital, but no. Apparently the Independence SWAT team went sprinting through our yard, as the armored vehicle drove up to our neighbor's door and a couple of shots were fired. My wife was a wreck, scared to death. So I told her to get to the basement away from any windows, while I talked to her on the phone till I got home. I pulled in the driveway, and investigators are all over the place, the armored vehicle has re-parked itself in the street, and all the SWAT guys are sitting in another vehicle. I ask them what happened (not expecting a straight answer) and whether it was safe or if I needed to get my wife and go, and they said it was safe, and all they could tell me was that they were "Serving a Warrant." A couple of hours later... and they are still scouring the place.

I finally come in from that excitement and sit down... and I start coughing. I get a pretty bad cough a couple of times a year, for seemingly no reason. Anyhow, I start coughing so hard that I passed out. I was sitting in my chair, and I remember going into a coughing fit, and then all I know is that there was a ton of weird sound in my head... and finally my wife yelling at me. I guess she heard me cough, then something didn't sound right, and came in to find me sitting with my eyes open, and my arms and legs shaking, and me not breathing, and my face beet red. My head feels weird as hell, now, but I guess I'm fine.

She yelled at me that the baby was going to come when she was ready, and the world had to stop trying to scare her into labor...
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:58 AM   #46
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilly View Post
please stop scaring him even worse! I don't need a passed out husband in the delivery room!!!
Hell, have him tape himself passing out like TinyEvel did, then youtube it.

How much longer until you hold the baby, not carry it? Days or hours?
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:00 AM   #47
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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nothing says miricle of life than "hey...your coochie stinks"
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:01 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by Demonpenz View Post
nothing says miricle of life than "hey...your coochie stinks"
No, the miracle is the coochie shrinking back to normal size. It would be like you trying to pass a crabapple out the head of your ween.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:03 AM   #49
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Hell, have him tape himself passing out like TinyEvel did, then youtube it.

How much longer until you hold the baby, not carry it? Days or hours?
I'm due on Saturday...but I wish it was RIGHT FREAKING NOW! The good news is that we have a lot of cookies hanging around the house.
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Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:03 AM   #50
tooge tooge is offline
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Man, you need to see a doctor. Not just for the cough, but in general. There are lots of things that can go on in the body without any indication and very minor or no symptoms at all (borderline diabetes for example). You basically ask a coworker or friend if they like the doc they see, call, and make an appointment for a new patient exam/physical. It is no big deal and you should do it every year or two. You could have some freaky lung disease or something. Oh, and note to self. `If wife becomes a member of CP, never talk about delivery room war stories.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:08 AM   #51
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I'm due on Saturday...but I wish it was RIGHT FREAKING NOW! The good news is that we have a lot of cookies hanging around the house.
Cool! I'll have a drink for you and Sully when I'm out in Vegas Saturday.

Congrats and good luck with your new upcoming life.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:10 AM   #52
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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No, the miracle is the coochie shrinking back to normal size. It would be like you trying to pass a crabapple out the head of your ween.
Seriously? Crap...I've been dating a girl that has a kid and I thought she was loose because of the kid. time to order a pump
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:10 AM   #53
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Quote:
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This is your first? If so, prepare for the smell. I wasn't.
WTF does this mean? Someone expound upon this without being too graphic?
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:12 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonpenz View Post
Seriously? Crap...I've been dating a girl that has a kid and I thought she was loose because of the kid. time to order a pump
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:12 AM   #55
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WTF does this mean? Someone expound upon this without being too graphic?
Afterbirth has a smell unlike anything you've smelled.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:12 AM   #56
DeezNutz DeezNutz is offline
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Seriously? Crap...I've been dating a girl that has a kid and I thought she was loose because of the kid. time to order a pump
Or start asking some questions...
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:13 AM   #57
DeezNutz DeezNutz is offline
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Afterbirth has a smell unlike anything you've smelled.
All the mingling of various fluids?
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:14 AM   #58
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All the mingling of various fluids?
I have no idea what goes into that smell, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. All I DO know is that it stinks. Bad.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:15 AM   #59
DeezNutz DeezNutz is offline
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I have no idea what goes into that smell, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. All I DO know is that it stinks. Bad.
Good to know. I would never have thought of this.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:17 AM   #60
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I'm due on Saturday...but I wish it was RIGHT FREAKING NOW! The good news is that we have a lot of cookies hanging around the house.
If you're really ready for it to be over, go have yourself some sechs.....

http://www.webmd.com/baby/inducing-l...can-it-be-done
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