Would it bother you if your SO/spouse made more money than you?

[El Jefe]

Spinoff of the Huffman thread. Finances are a huge factor in relationships as everyone already knows. My question is exactly what I stated, would it bother you if your spouse or SO made more money than you did? Obviously I am kind of aiming this at the male posters on the board. Would it hurt your "ego" if she made more money? Once my fiance gets out of school she will make a lot more money than I do. I don't really have a problem with that but sometimes my pride makes me want to make more money than she will. I guess it also depends on your spouse or SO in regards to if they would use that factor against you and throw it in your face. I would assume most would not, but in a fight many people say things they wouldn't always say.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Detoxing

**** no. Bring it on baby. Make me a househusband!

Awesome. You can sweep, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, do laundry, cut coupons, plan meals, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner, take the kids to school........

[Great Expectations]

My wife should make more money than me and it bothers me that she doesn't. She is very underpaid at her current job.

[sedated]

Originally Posted by luv

Awesome. You can sweep, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, do laundry, cut coupons, plan meals, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner, take the kids to school........

I doubt a lot of stay-at-home moms actually do all that. Mostly they bitch about having to do everything around the house while the man is off "playing" at work.

[Huffman83]

Originally Posted by luv

Awesome. You can sweep, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, do laundry, cut coupons, plan meals, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner, take the kids to school........

Bring it on. I'd rather do that than talk to someone about how their baby isn't breathing or their baby's daddy is beating them.

[Lumpy]

It didn't bother me a bit. But then again, it doesn't bother me that Gonzo's currently unemployed. If I could make more money, he wouldn't need to get a job. He could relax, spend more time w/ his son, go hunting, play his PS3, whatever. I don't mind working my ass off, although a vacation would be nice.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by luv

Awesome. You can sweep, vacuum, dust, wash dishes, do laundry, cut coupons, plan meals, do the grocery shopping, cook dinner, take the kids to school........

I'm sorry, but this annoys me a bit...scratch that, it annoys me a lot.

Sweeping - once a week; perhaps 1/2 an hour.
Vacuuming -- once a week; perhaps an hour
Dusting -- once every 2 weeks, perhaps an hour
washing dishes -- nightly for perhaps 1/2 an hour
Chaperone -- maybe an hour/day.
laundry -- sorting: an hour/week, folding: 2 hours/week, changing loads: 2 hours/week
Coupons -- Who cuts coupons? In either event, maybe an hour a week.
Plan and cook meals -- we'll go all the way to 1.5 hours/day (way way high)
Groceries -- 2 hours/week.


So in a week we get .5+1+.5+4+1+7+2+2+1+10+2 == a whopping 31 hours per week (over 7 days, mind you).

And you know what the husband will get for his efforts? A whole lot of bitching that his wife has to take the children everywhere, clean the house, prepare all the meals and do all the shopping. That he never helps around the house or spends time with the kids, etc, etc... So the husband will be expected the 'shoulder' some of the load as well.

Sorry, but being a housewife would be a freakin' sweet gig.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I'm sorry, but this annoys me a bit...scratch that, it annoys me a lot.

It's the loss of outside adult contact that is the major bitch.

[DJ's left nut]

I make significantly more than my wife by virtue of my profession alone - she's probably better at what she does than I am at what I do.

At the same time, when she picks up her Master's in nursing here in a couple of years, she'll probably make close to as much, if not more than I do.

If she passes me, I won't care a bit. Much like in the other thread, I'll note that the whole thing is a joint venture. If she makes more, that's a whole lot of pressure it takes off of me to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak.

I would see it as a load off my back more than anything.

[ToxSocks]

Originally Posted by sedated

I doubt a lot of stay-at-home moms actually do all that. Mostly they bitch about having to do everything around the house while the man is off "playing" at work.

THIS.

They do about half that list and then bitch about it.

[KCUnited]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

I'm sorry, but this annoys me a bit...scratch that, it annoys me a lot.

Sweeping - once a week; perhaps 1/2 an hour.
Vacuuming -- once a week; perhaps an hour
Dusting -- once every 2 weeks, perhaps an hour
washing dishes -- nightly for perhaps 1/2 an hour
Chaperone -- maybe an hour/day.
laundry -- sorting: an hour/week, folding: 2 hours/week, changing loads: 2 hours/week
Coupons -- Who cuts coupons? In either event, maybe an hour a week.
Plan and cook meals -- we'll go all the way to 1.5 hours/day (way way high)
Groceries -- 2 hours/week.


So in a week we get .5+1+.5+4+1+7+2+2+1+10+2 == a whopping 31 hours per week (over 7 days, mind you).

And you know what the husband will get for his efforts? A whole lot of bitching that his wife has to take the children everywhere, clean the house, prepare all the meals and do all the shopping. That he never helps around the house or spends time with the kids, etc, etc... So the husband will be expected the 'shoulder' some of the load as well.

Sorry, but being a housewife would be a freakin' sweet gig.

Plus, the quarterly performance review on housewifing is a lose/lose situation.

[Brock]

If she did, I wouldn't have to work. So NO, it wouldn't bother me.

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

It's the loss of outside adult contact that is the major bitch.

Fair point, but it would again seem to show how flawed the idea is.

I just don't understand the 'stay at home mom' concept. It's beneath most women, IMO and it creates a pretty strained division of labor at home.

I suppose the argument would be that it creates a far better environment for the children to grow up in at the expense of the parents and is therefore the unselfish approach, but I also have to wonder how often that arrangement leads to an unhealthy (or perhaps failed) marriage. Which would certainly have a far more damaging impact on a child than would Day Care.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

Fair point, but it would again seem to show how flawed the idea is.

I just don't understand the 'stay at home mom' concept. It's beneath most women, IMO and it creates a pretty strained division of labor at home.

I suppose the argument would be that it creates a far better environment for the children to grow up in at the expense of the parents and is therefore the unselfish approach, but I also have to wonder how often that arrangement leads to an unhealthy (or perhaps failed) marriage. Which would certainly have a far more damaging impact on a child than would Day Care.

Depends what the lesser-paid spouse (typically the woman) makes. For example, if she's making $10 per hour and the husband has a strong, salary position, it might make more sense, all things considered, for the wife to stay home because she wouldn't be earning enough to justify the high cost of daycare and the other ramifications.

[El Jefe]

Originally Posted by sedated

I doubt a lot of stay-at-home moms actually do all that. Mostly they bitch about having to do everything around the house while the man is off "playing" at work.

so very true

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I'm the first to admit that I can be egotistical. A little self-centered, conceited, and downright narcissistic at times. But only a fool would be angered, or butt-hurt by MORE money.