Who wins in a fight? Round #1 - Featuring Titty Meat and Hammock Parties

[TLO]

We're in the dog days of April here in the off-season, so we're going to have to find ways to entertain ourselves for a while.

The members of www.chiefsplanet.com started a fight club! All fights will take place at the George Brett Statue inside a steel cage. There is no escape from the cage. The only way to win is to incapacitate your opponent. Jim Ross and Jerry the King Lawler will call each fight.

Any type of advantage can/will be given to whoever I feel like. The rules are made up and the points don't matter.

Now let's get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hammock - has a pair of helicopter ride tickets in his pocket. He also has a small container of pawn shop grade mace.

Titty - Has the dildo that was thrown at Tom Brady in Buffalo in his back pocket. Also has a pocket full of sand.

Who wins?

[FlaChief58]

Billy would be too distracted by the dildos massive girth and wind up passing out while deep throating it handing clay the victory

[IA_Chiefs_fan]

I voted Billay. But then I got to thinking. I've heard of "reerun strength". I don't know if that's a real thing though. I find the term offensive but if it is real, the edge probably goes to Clay.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by IA_Chiefs_fan

I voted Billay. But then I got to thinking. I've heard of "reerun strength". I don't know if that's a real thing though. I find the term offensive but if it is real, the edge probably goes to Clay.

I guarantee you I could smoke you on an IQ test and perform physical labor at a greater rate of speed and have more fun doing it.

[JPH83]

Originally Posted by Pablo

I bet titty has been in at least 8x the amount of actual physical altercations as clay. He grew up as a ginger and turned into a pansexual bartender, there's no better route to try.

Also gonna say bill growing up in Midtown KC was a bit spicier than the mean streets of Great Britain. Get robbed with a ****ing butter knife soft type of people. They'd be scared to hold such a dangerous weapon like mace.

There's no guns, it's all fists...yep, sounded tougher in my head.

[threebag]

Clay would have to stop by Taco Bell’s for a free cup of ice. Then he could put a cube in each cheek and proceed to cold cock Billay.


Billay smashes his ass harder than the bulls fill the wide mouth cum jar.

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Hammock Parties

I'll have you know I was assaulted by a doberman in my youth across the pond. This was only my first altercation, of many. The dog died.

Later some passing ruffians mugged me and tried to steal a family pet. While we escaped, due to my elite athletic ability, my animal was forever scarred. He wore a cardboard prothesis for the rest of his life. This trauma caused me to turn to a life of crime as a petty thief. No local establishment was safe.

These incidents would have broken anyone else, but moving to America and experiencing culture shock turned me into a man at a young age. And it was manlike strength that saved the day, when three boys at my school accosted me in a bathroom and violently attempted to drown me in the nearest lavatory. Only my beastly forearms, braced against the walls of a restroom stall, prevented certain death.

So shocked were these youths by my show of superiority, that they never bothered me again. After that, my rivals learned the only way to attack me was to fight me with their wits. Eventually a conspiracy took place to involve adults, which is how the front page of the 1995 Dallas Morning News ended up on my desk in first period math the day after Bono blew the ****ing game at Texas Stadium.

This lit a fire inside me, that no one would ever be able to break me mentally. I trained my mind to troll the shit out of anyone that dared to challenge me. Eventually this led to me committing vehicular theft. Of course, no one caught me. I was a seasoned pro.

As a hardened criminal mastermind, I eventually expanded my deceit to fool the adults who had so willingly been drawn into the vast conspiracy to destroy me. Truancy typically resulted in detention, but with my reputation as a well-behaved student, it was easy to cut class whenever I felt like it. I had better things to do, like steal movies.

No one could break me. Not ever. And so it was that I found my way here. Where the administrator of this place, knowing attempts in real life were futile, attempted to kill me digitally, over...and over...and over. But each time, like a Phoenix, I rose from the ashes, until now, my digital avatar is literally A GOD.

I have transcended to a higher plane of existence. While the consensus here indicates I am vulnerable, my very LIFE has been spent wallowing in the pit of vulnerability and climbing out of it over and over.

I have perfected my art, and come full circle, where half a dozen people get so ****ing tired of my shit they threaten to kick my ass every year.

But no one ever has.

And now, this poll. THIS POLL! I am getting my ass kicked in this poll. But the worst thing a man can do is underestimate me. And while I am billay's facebook friend, that proximity has allowed me to understand his strengths and weaknesses.

I know how his head works. The positions he can get into. His level of stamina. There will be no surprise, because I know exactly when he will be coming.

Billay sees the poll. He becomes confident. He comes at me HARD.

And then...and only then...is when he will suddenly realize my advantage.

I WANT HIM TO COME HARD.

So I'll ask our friend Billay here one question...do you feel lucky?

You’d be sending Bill dick pics from Belize, outstanding citizen