Life Confronting a cheater - Page 8

The Dude Abides · 05:30 PM

Haven't been here in awhile, so check this out. Guess this could be related to the cheaters thread, but oh well. I had been seeing this woman for about 3 years. Everything was great, we got along, amazing sex, etc. But during this whole time, I live in Wichita, she in Newton, a 30 minute drive. She always had to visit me at my house because she lived with her ex. They had never been married, just dated for 9 years. Long story short, I saw the end coming, she was pulling away, as she had done before a few years ago, so I found where she lived and told her supposed ex the whole story of me and his woman. Oh yeah, they were very much together, he said. But he was a big puss and didn't get mad or anything. But needless to say, she got hysterical, said she hated me, i ruined her life, etc. I knew all this was going to happen anyway, but I just couldn't let her get away with her doing the whole player thing. So basically, what is your opinion on confronting the cheaters significant other?

stevieray · 02-16-2009, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

Did I not cover the difference between it being a friend of yours and just some random guy earlier in the thread?

Did I not address that in the first sentence of the reply?

Mecca · 02-16-2009, 05:39 PM

It's always funny to me when it's always the other guys fault no matter what...logic is overrated.

**Iowanian** · 02-16-2009, 05:39 PM

Didn't you post this thread a while back, shyguyms?

dumbassecca,
There is plenty of blame left for the spouse.

I'll have to defer to your EXTENSIVE life and relationship experience to tell me how the average family man would react.

Its always funny is that nothing is ever YOUR fault.

**Predarat** · 02-16-2009, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jspchief

If a guy was screwing my girl, knowing that she was my girl, he's going to get his ass kicked.

Doesn't change that my girl is a slut.

this

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

I don't hink it's that men don't give women credit. I think it's because men want to fight, and most don't hit women.

this too

ClevelandBronco · 02-16-2009, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dude Abides

Haven't been here in awhile, so check this out. Guess this could be related to the cheaters thread, but oh well. I had been seeing this woman for about 3 years. Everything was great, we got along, amazing sex, etc. But during this whole time, I live in Wichita, she in Newton, a 30 minute drive. She always had to visit me at my house because she lived with her ex. They had never been married, just dated for 9 years. Long story short, I saw the end coming, she was pulling away, as she had done before a few years ago, so I found where she lived and told her supposed ex the whole story of me and his woman. Oh yeah, they were very much together, he said. But he was a big puss and didn't get mad or anything. But needless to say, she got hysterical, said she hated me, i ruined her life, etc. I knew all this was going to happen anyway, but I just couldn't let her get away with her doing the whole player thing. So basically, what is your opinion on confronting the cheaters significant other?

Wow.

You're gay for even bringing it up.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 02-16-2009, 11:34 PM

If dude knocked on my door and told me he'd been banging my wife, I'd get about 1 inch from him and ask what his purpose was in telling me. If I was satisfied with his answer I'd wish him luck in life, close the door and start packing my shit. If I wasn't there'd be a race on who got out of there first. Me with my shit, or him with his teeth.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you're genuinely just shooting for revenge then it's the right place and right time for me. Better to know than not.........

But if you're just trying to rub some shit in my face I'm gonna rub my knuckles in yours. Fighting is a last resort for me, but if there are no words, there are no words..........

CHENZ A! · 02-17-2009, 12:00 AM

I am NOT cool with being the other man under any circumstance, that shit is just foul.

When I am with a girl I am not a posessive, jealous, or controlling type. I could care less if my girl flirts with other people when we're out in public, or whatever. But there can only be one king, and she will know that.

If she cheats, she's done, there won't be any argument of any kind, just get your shit and leave, and never contact me again, no 2nd chances. As for beating the other dude's ass, only if he pops off at the mouth to me unprovoked it would be very hard to not break his face even though I'd probably feel even worse after I did that.

Saccopoo · 02-17-2009, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Dude Abides

Well, see at that point I didnt give a shit about my own life, or what happened. You know how things are after a break up. Especially when you have just found out you have been cheated on for 3 years.

Okay, but who was cheating on who? Didn't you say that she was living with a guy? Her ex to be more specific? And you don't think that nothing is going on there? That they are co-habitating platonically after they had already had a relationship (as far as you know)? And that after "dating" her for three years, you had never been to her place once? That pretty much makes you the cheatee and her the cheater. Actually, it pretty much makes you a reerun.

And you going up to the door trying to be a bad ass because you got cut off from the snatch, and nobody giving a rats ass about you is just classic. The Ex doesn't give a shit because he's still tapping that ass, the skank doesn't give a shit because you just proved yourself to be a jealous, borderline violent tool that doesn't look as attractive a long term prospect as the other guy.

I'm just shocked that the guy didn't shiv you or put a gun in your face and pull the trigger, pull you in the house or leave you on the doorstep and call the police saying you threatened him with his life while being on his property because you got cut off from the cooz and went psycho. I don't know what kind of Deadly Force laws you got there and if an action like that would fall under a justifiable homicide thing. People get shot because of stuff like you pulled more often than not. You were lucky.

However, the guy just nodding at you and shutting the door and going back and laying the pipe to Ms. Skank is just as good, if not better than, as a bag over the head punch in the gut.

keg in kc · 02-17-2009, 12:13 AM

I have a little experience with this and I've always thought the "guy should get his ass kicked" contingent has it all wrong. I mean, shit, the guys that ****ed my wife weren't the ones who were breaking any kind of committment to me; she was. Kicking their asses weren't going to make her less of a tramp. I guess if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it, but it's not going to change anything. And in the end it really is about her, and not them.

And you, dude, you should only be pissed at yourself for getting into and (worse) staying in that situation.

02-17-2009, 12:19 AM

I agree under one circumstance. If the guy was deceived by her, ie: he thought she was single. If he knew she was married then he has it coming too.

teedubya · 02-17-2009, 12:36 AM

If women do this... men shouldn't beat them, although, in rage, some men smack that ho...

however, I think that if a woman does this... then she should have to get into the octagon ring with Lace from American Gladiators or one of the WWE Divas for an ass whooping.

keg in kc · 02-17-2009, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I agree under one circumstance. If the guy was deceived by her, ie: he thought she was single. If he knew she was married then he has it coming too.

Why? I mean, yeah, he's a scumbag and I'd never do it or condone it, but at the same time what does one guy really owe the other in a situation like this? It's not like the two of them exchanged any vows. That would be the wife, and it's ultimately on her head, at least in my book.

I realize this reads like a defense of of the cheating guy, but it's really not. He's pretty much a soul-less douche. The point I'm trying to make is that there's not nearly enough emphasis on the responsibility of the woman. Shit, dudes think kicking the other guy's ass will fix this, then take their wives back like they're Odysseus conquering Troy, and then wonder why when it happens again. And again. And again. Because it's somehow hard for them to come to grips with the fact that they married a whore. It's the other guy's fault, after all.

Mecca · 02-17-2009, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Why? I mean, yeah, he's a scumbag and I'd never do it or condone it, but at the same time what does one guy really owe the other in a situation like this? It's not like the two of them exchanged any vows. That would be the wife, and it's ultimately on her head, at least in my book.

I realize this reads like a defense of of the cheating guy, but it's really not. He's pretty much a soul-less douche. The point I'm trying to make is that there's not nearly enough emphasis on the responsibility of the woman. Shit, dudes think kicking the other guy's ass will fix this, then take their wives back like they're Odysseus conquering Troy, and then wonder why when it happens again. And again. And again. Because it's somehow hard for them to come to grips with the fact that they married a whore. It's the other guy's fault, after all.

I got a neg rep for saying this....I guess Iowa doesn't agree with us man.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 02-17-2009, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Why? I mean, yeah, he's a scumbag and I'd never do it or condone it, but at the same time what does one guy really owe the other in a situation like this? It's not like the two of them exchanged any vows. That would be the wife, and it's ultimately on her head, at least in my book.

I realize this reads like a defense of of the cheating guy, but it's really not. He's pretty much a soul-less douche. The point I'm trying to make is that there's not nearly enough emphasis on the responsibility of the woman. Shit, dudes think kicking the other guy's ass will fix this, then take their wives back like they're Odysseus conquering Troy, and then wonder why when it happens again. And again. And again. Because it's somehow hard for them to come to grips with the fact that they married a whore. It's the other guy's fault, after all.

It has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with pissing on the fire hydrant.

02-17-2009, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

Why? I mean, yeah, he's a scumbag and I'd never do it or condone it, but at the same time what does one guy really owe the other in a situation like this? It's not like the two of them exchanged any vows. That would be the wife, and it's ultimately on her head, at least in my book.

I realize this reads like a defense of of the cheating guy, but it's really not. He's pretty much a soul-less douche. The point I'm trying to make is that there's not nearly enough emphasis on the responsibility of the woman. Shit, dudes think kicking the other guy's ass will fix this, then take their wives back like they're Odysseus conquering Troy, and then wonder why when it happens again. And again. And again. Because it's somehow hard for them to come to grips with the fact that they married a whore. It's the other guy's fault, after all.

Let me be clear. I never whooped anybody who slept with my ex. But I wanted to. I think it probably brings some closure for the problem plaguing most me, our egos. Will it help anything else? No.

If somebody came into my house and disrespected me I'd put them out on their tail and hoped they learned a lesson. If we, as a society don't hold scumbags accountable then who will? This lackadaisical attitude is what allows scumbags to continue their scumbag behavior.

A mere 150 years ago, civilized people in this country shot or hung men who stole cattle. It was an acceptable part of culture at the time. After a couple of guys swinging from a rope the rest of the thieves start thinking long and hard about their chosen profession. Somewhere along the line, we stopped holding people accountable for their actions. I won't continue to contribute to that in my life.

02-16-2009, 04:21 PM
The Dude Abides Starter Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $6774940	Confronting a cheater Haven't been here in awhile, so check this out. Guess this could be related to the cheaters thread, but oh well. I had been seeing this woman for about 3 years. Everything was great, we got along, amazing sex, etc. But during this whole time, I live in Wichita, she in Newton, a 30 minute drive. She always had to visit me at my house because she lived with her ex. They had never been married, just dated for 9 years. Long story short, I saw the end coming, she was pulling away, as she had done before a few years ago, so I found where she lived and told her supposed ex the whole story of me and his woman. Oh yeah, they were very much together, he said. But he was a big puss and didn't get mad or anything. But needless to say, she got hysterical, said she hated me, i ruined her life, etc. I knew all this was going to happen anyway, but I just couldn't let her get away with her doing the whole player thing. So basically, what is your opinion on confronting the cheaters significant other? Last edited by The Dude Abides; 02-16-2009 at 05:30 PM..
Posts: 400

02-16-2009, 05:39 PM	#107
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $-742950	It's always funny to me when it's always the other guys fault no matter what...logic is overrated.
Posts: 115,387

02-16-2009, 05:39 PM	#108
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1658454	Didn't you post this thread a while back, shyguyms? dumbassecca, There is plenty of blame left for the spouse. I'll have to defer to your EXTENSIVE life and relationship experience to tell me how the average family man would react. Its always funny is that nothing is ever YOUR fault.
Posts: 62,945

02-17-2009, 12:00 AM	#112
CHENZ A! pimping hoes + clocking a grip Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $9977569	I am NOT cool with being the other man under any circumstance, that shit is just foul. When I am with a girl I am not a posessive, jealous, or controlling type. I could care less if my girl flirts with other people when we're out in public, or whatever. But there can only be one king, and she will know that. If she cheats, she's done, there won't be any argument of any kind, just get your shit and leave, and never contact me again, no 2nd chances. As for beating the other dude's ass, only if he pops off at the mouth to me unprovoked it would be very hard to not break his face even though I'd probably feel even worse after I did that.
Posts: 6,302

02-17-2009, 12:13 AM	#114
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I have a little experience with this and I've always thought the "guy should get his ass kicked" contingent has it all wrong. I mean, shit, the guys that ****ed my wife weren't the ones who were breaking any kind of committment to me; she was. Kicking their asses weren't going to make her less of a tramp. I guess if it makes you feel better about yourself, go for it, but it's not going to change anything. And in the end it really is about her, and not them. And you, dude, you should only be pissed at yourself for getting into and (worse) staying in that situation.
Posts: 58,682

02-17-2009, 12:19 AM	#115
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	I agree under one circumstance. If the guy was deceived by her, ie: he thought she was single. If he knew she was married then he has it coming too.
Posts: n/a

02-17-2009, 12:36 AM	#116
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $8993042	If women do this... men shouldn't beat them, although, in rage, some men smack that ho... however, I think that if a woman does this... then she should have to get into the octagon ring with Lace from American Gladiators or one of the WWE Divas for an ass whooping.
Posts: 36,832