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Old 01-29-2004, 02:46 PM  
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Ask Iowanian. Pt II, the Keyboard of Doom
If you've got a problem, yo Ahll Solve it, check out my hooks, while DJ revolves it..tss tss ts tss tst

If Dr Laura, Dr Phil or Ann Landers couldn't help you.....Serve it up.


Its the offseason, the board needs something other than politics. This thread, and the answers will go where you take it. A serious Question....I'll try to help, and or rely on others......A not serious question....You'll get what you ask for.


disclaimer: Iowanian is not a licensed Doctor, Psychologist or anything else. No responsibility shall be taken by advisors on any issue within the thread. The answer "I have no #@%&* idea " is valid and acceptable for these purposes. If the thread sucks, it shall fade into planet oblivion.
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Old 08-24-2004, 06:15 PM   #121
Calcountry Calcountry is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian
Buy a very large suitcase..........Explain to your wife that you are taking her on a "suprise" trip and zip her up.....check her in, and use the saved airfare on her ticket, and your beer, nachos and Braut at the game.

Duh.


OOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait until you know a weekend that she has some event(bridal shower, bachelorette part-ah etc.....something she won't miss)..........show "disappointment" that she can't join you(but not TOO much mind you, or she'll come along)...............Come to the game without her, and hit the Juggies Joint the night before the game, lose your shirt so you won't smell like cotton candy and Clove cigarettes......

Yeah.......do that one.
I like the second one better. Does it matter what I like Dr. I, Or should I be more SENS i tive to those arround me??
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Old 08-24-2004, 06:19 PM   #122
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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jeesh.
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Old 08-25-2004, 09:58 AM   #123
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Dear Dr. Iowanian, my friend posts on this message board and he keeps having delusions of grandeur. He continually asserts that this midget is going to win the Heisman Trophy. All his friends have tried to help him by pointing out the fallacy of this notion. Is there anything you can do to help him?
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Old 08-25-2004, 10:32 AM   #124
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
Dear Dr. Iowanian, my friend posts on this message board and he keeps having delusions of grandeur. He continually asserts that this midget is going to win the Heisman Trophy. All his friends have tried to help him by pointing out the fallacy of this notion. Is there anything you can do to help him?
Mr Towne,

There really isn't much of anything that can be done, I'm afraid. I'm sure that fans of the non-Hawkeye Afflicted team mean well, and are good people. Just take comfort in the fact that the same fan also more than likely argued that Michael Bishop was the next McNabb and could read.
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Old 08-25-2004, 10:48 AM   #125
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian
Just take comfort in the fact that the same fan also more than likely argued that Michael Bishop was the next McNabb and could read.
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:09 PM   #126
yunghungwell yunghungwell is offline
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http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2217588

This got me thinking.

I have heard that when you poo, the poo should float in the bowl. If it floats then you are eating a healthy diet and whatnot.

Personally, I have not had a "floater" in months. I can't even recall when the last time was.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, "Am I going to die?"

YHW
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:11 PM   #127
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Originally Posted by yunghungwell
So, I guess what I am trying to say is, "Am I going to die?"
The survival rate for everyone drops to zero on a long enough timeline.
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:15 PM   #128
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yunghungwell
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2217588

This got me thinking.

I have heard that when you poo, the poo should float in the bowl. If it floats then you are eating a healthy diet and whatnot.

Personally, I have not had a "floater" in months. I can't even recall when the last time was.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, "Am I going to die?"

YHW

I'll handle this one, Iowanian.

More fiber, man:

If not, this will help:
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:17 PM   #129
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Dear Iowanian:

Where can I get some mother****ing pie?

Sincerely,
Not A Combat Veteran
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:19 PM   #130
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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Originally Posted by siberian khatru
Dear Iowanian:

Where can I get some mother****ing pie?

Sincerely,
Not A Combat Veteran
How about some "Dixie" pie? (Pecan, with chocolate chips, and caramel?)
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:24 PM   #131
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yunghungwell
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?p=2217588

This got me thinking.

I have heard that when you poo, the poo should float in the bowl. If it floats then you are eating a healthy diet and whatnot.

Personally, I have not had a "floater" in months. I can't even recall when the last time was.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, "Am I going to die?"

YHW
Dear mr Dungwell,
It should be noted that while I am an accomplished Dumper of Loads, I don't often make note of thier consistency, elasticity, composition*hey look, Corn* firmness, texture and floatablility..........I have an idea.

After consulting your brotherinlaw it has come to my attention that if your head weren't jammed so far up your above the rim of your prostate that you can taste your liver, the compaction rate of your Dung would decrease, and when combined with enough roughage, your movement should return to normal.

As for dieing, I'm guessing your family already thinks it smells like you did.
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:27 PM   #132
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siberian khatru
Dear Iowanian:

Where can I get some mother****ing pie?

Sincerely,
Not A Combat Veteran
I'm sorry SIberian,
Due to war rationing, in effort to make sure the figting men have enough Hostess Apple, Cherry, Blueberry, and chocolate cream pies, you don't have enough stamps to attain Pie at this time.

I am told, that if you were to take $50 down to Troost and Admiral, and ask "skinny wanda" for "a game of billiards" you can get a half knappy pie to get you through the Pie Tin shortage.
Last edited by Iowanian; 01-13-2005 at 03:45 PM..
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:36 PM   #133
ChiTown ChiTown is offline
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Dear Eyeohwayneeanne:

Ay'm en kneed uf a goode speil cheker? Annie segestionz?

Sinseerly,

KCNUT
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Old 01-13-2005, 03:44 PM   #134
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Deaarr Iiowwwanian:

Sumtimezs wheheheen I havvve a "'bevveraaaaage" or two at nighhhtt. I ppppossst stupiddd (Realllly stuuupidd!) ssttuffff onn thhhhe Planet. Whhhatt shoulllddd I doo?

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Old 01-13-2005, 03:47 PM   #135
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Deaarr Iiowwwanian:

Sumtimezs wheheheen I havvve a "'bevveraaaaage" or two at nighhhtt. I ppppossst stupiddd (Realllly stuuupidd!) ssttuffff onn thhhhe Planet. Whhhatt shoulllddd I doo?

Roob
After Dinner tonight, glue your fingers on your most dexterous hand to your unit. They're there half the night anyway, pudwhacker.

This way, even if impaired, you'll have to type with 1 hand, which is uncoorinated, and posters won't be subjected to abundances of words.
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