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Old 06-02-2009, 02:29 PM  
Silock Silock is offline
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Texts from last night
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Don't care if repost, this is funny shit

A few gems:

(440): I love you
(720): are you drunk
(440): yes but I def love you, we should get married
(720): But I'm Jewish
(440): embrace Jesus

(864): Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to **** you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

(619): i miss you so much
(858): i miss you too
(858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this ****in recession

(586): White guys get excited about tits
(586): I've always analogized fake boobs to dinosaurs in jurrasic park
(586): Meaning I know they're not real but they still make me happy
(586): But guys misperceive them as a girl being easy
(586): I mean if I spent $5000 on my dick I'd wanna get the return on my investment

(914): ? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
(773): jesus mom

(310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

(504): dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
(985): doesn't he have a girlfriend???
(504): yeah...who do you think woke us up...

(703): How the **** did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.

(215): Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

(337): Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency

(209): Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night

(610): please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

(917): Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
(212): Vagina

(773): When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
(312): Prob not but she was surprised

(314): Someone's got a whale tail
(1-314): A thong is hangin out?
(314): No, a fatty following them

(212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

(478): This is not my ceiling

(225): I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
(504): Who won?
(225): All of them.

(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that

(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.

(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
Posts: 19,908
Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Silock has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:32 PM   #2
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
FINALLY! The wait is over.
 
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LOL
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Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:37 PM   #3
kcfanXIII kcfanXIII is offline
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that site is great.
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kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.kcfanXIII Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:40 PM   #4
Jilly Jilly is offline
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damn it, I wish I could remember that!! HA HA HA!!!!!!
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Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:41 PM   #5
Dartgod Dartgod is online now
Wasted away again...
 
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Quote:
(773): When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
(312): Prob not but she was surprised
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Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:45 PM   #6
MOhillbilly MOhillbilly is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Missouri
Casino cash: $9949903
(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.


lol- sounds like me.
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MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:48 PM   #7
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $4560478
Here are a select few from my phone:

"Tap that booty today."

"I'm sober if you wanna call."

"She's nineteen, weezie!"

"Charlotte wants my cock!"

"Sry bro. I'm semi-drunk and needed a friend."

"Just get me Dane McDufflebag's ass # pronto"
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:53 PM   #8
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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(509): Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

(212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

(215): May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night

(314): dude did u upper deck my toilet?
(1-314): haha like two months ago
(314): i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Posts: 60,268
OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:54 PM   #9
Mile High Mania Mile High Mania is offline
#triggering
 
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"(610): please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am."

This one made me chuckle... reminds me of a time or two just after college.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:58 PM   #10
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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(513): Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
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OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 02:59 PM   #11
tooge tooge is offline
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Mine are always things like "dude, ur a tool"
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tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.tooge is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 03:01 PM   #12
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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(336): Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

(208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
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OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.OnTheWarpath15 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-02-2009, 03:04 PM   #13
MOhillbilly MOhillbilly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 View Post

(208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i put ramen noodle in the nuker for 99.99 then passed out.
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MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MOhillbilly has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 06-02-2009, 03:08 PM   #14
whatsmynameagain whatsmynameagain is offline
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This mother ****er is blabbing on his cell phone in the john, wtf!!! Talking about his ****ing facebook and bible camp
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whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.whatsmynameagain < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 06-02-2009, 03:09 PM   #15
Fish Fish is online now
Ain't no relax!
 
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(507): drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
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Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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