Funny college stories.

David. · 01-14-2005, 04:20 PM

Phobia is a bastard. I thought I'd throw that out while I still have the chance

Eleazar · 01-14-2005, 04:21 PM

My roommate and I got hammered my freshman year and were tearing up our room after coming home from a party. It started with him tearing the place apart in a vain search for some controlled substances he was missing but we were pretty loaded and it ended up in us pelting some passersby out on the lawn with empty cans from our 3rd story window.

Unfortunately those passersby were cops and came up for a visit and took us for a nice ride in their car and a visit to their office being that we were both 18, it was a dry campus, and a few other minor details.

That is a tamer one, anyway

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-14-2005, 04:21 PM

I'll come back tonight drunk....I got a couple of doosies: good thing the statute of limitations has run out.

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-14-2005, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David.

Phobia is a bastard. I thought I'd throw that out while I still have the chance

You're buckin' for a temporary ban/Phobia fugg with you day, eh?

|Zach| · 01-14-2005, 04:22 PM

This is less funny and more so disgusting. But I went to MU to hang out and party with a bunch of my friends. It was a good time and everything was kind of winding down. Alot of people were asleep and I was talking to a buddy of mine on a couch.

While we were talking a girl walked in. She looked really drunk and she was walking around. We were looking at her trying to figure out if she needed some help or not. A few seconds later she pulls her shorts and panties down out of nowhere. We both looked at eachother laughing but then she decideds to squat down and take a crap right there in this carpeted room...she then fell asleep right there.

This poor girl happened to be in a sorority and her name was Whitney. Soon enough the whole greek universe found out and she was dubbed "Shitney" on campus. She ended up transferring...

**gblowfish** · 01-14-2005, 04:22 PM

Here's just the punchline:

So I walk out of the store, it's downtown, middle of the day. At the stoplight in his squad car is my friend Tom. So I yell at him as loud as I can:
"HEY PIG....Wanna Buy Some Coke?"

Later that night at the bar I puked in the parking lot.

You'll have to guess the rest.

JazzzLovr · 01-14-2005, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan

I'll come back tonight drunk....

Yeah, because that's turned out so well for ya in the past...

**Bearcat** · 01-14-2005, 04:24 PM

This one time, I threw up on a cop...

David. · 01-14-2005, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZachKC

This is less funny and more so disgusting. But I went to MU to hang out and party with a bunch of my friends. It was a good time and everything was kind of winding down. Alot of people were asleep and I was talking to a buddy of mine on a couch.

While we were talking a girl walked in. She looked really drunk and she was walking around. We were looking at her trying to figure out if she needed some help or not. A few seconds later she pulls her shorts and panties down out of nowhere. We both looked at eachother laughing but then she decideds to squat down and take a crap right there in this carpeted room...she then fell asleep right there.

This poor girl happened to be in a sorority and her name was Whitney. Soon enough the whole greek universe found out and she was dubbed "Shitney" on campus. She ended up transferring...

omfg

Eleazar · 01-14-2005, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearcat

This one time, I threw up on a cop...

It it was a Maryville cop, good work.

**Bearcat** · 01-14-2005, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZachKC

This is less funny and more so disgusting. But I went to MU to hang out and party with a bunch of my friends. It was a good time and everything was kind of winding down. Alot of people were asleep and I was talking to a buddy of mine on a couch.

While we were talking a girl walked in. She looked really drunk and she was walking around. We were looking at her trying to figure out if she needed some help or not. A few seconds later she pulls her shorts and panties down out of nowhere. We both looked at eachother laughing but then she decideds to squat down and take a crap right there in this carpeted room...she then fell asleep right there.

This poor girl happened to be in a sorority and her name was Whitney. Soon enough the whole greek universe found out and she was dubbed "Shitney" on campus. She ended up transferring...

Huh... I knew a Whitney at NW that had transferred from somewhere.... maybe this is why she didn't say where she transferred from.... "Oh, Shitney!"

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-14-2005, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JazzzLovr

Yeah, because that's turned out so well for ya in the past...

Damn, two friggin' nights in my life...can't a guy get a second, er third chance around here?

I'll just start by putting Frazod, TJ, Skip, and Zach on iggy; that'll take care of 90% of it.

|Zach| · 01-14-2005, 04:28 PM

One of my good friends had to go through 2 years of highschool and 1 1\2 years of college without drinking.

He got panchriatitis and was told by his doctor that if he drank alcohal it would have really bad repructions and could even mean death. So he never drank at all...

Then later he goes to another one of his doctors and somehow they got on the subject of it. His new doctor said that the other one was mistaken and that his case was not chronic enough for alcohal to cause a problem. As long as he didn't go way way over board there was no reason he shouldnt be able to drink.

He was so furious but happy at the same time. I still think his parents told the doctor to tell him he couldnt drink to keep him from drinking...

|Zach| · 01-14-2005, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearcat

Huh... I knew a Whitney at NW that had transferred from somewhere.... maybe this is why she didn't say where she transferred from.... "Oh, Shitney!"

She was really good looking...I mean before the shitting.

01-14-2005, 04:18 PM
ENDelt260 In Search of a Life Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: 85251 Casino cash: $8014900	. . Last edited by ENDelt260; 08-15-2023 at 09:45 PM..
Posts: 35,022

01-14-2005, 04:20 PM	#2
David. . Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: University of Missouri Casino cash: $10005850	Phobia is a bastard. I thought I'd throw that out while I still have the chance
Posts: 8,169

01-14-2005, 04:21 PM	#3
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	My roommate and I got hammered my freshman year and were tearing up our room after coming home from a party. It started with him tearing the place apart in a vain search for some controlled substances he was missing but we were pretty loaded and it ended up in us pelting some passersby out on the lawn with empty cans from our 3rd story window. Unfortunately those passersby were cops and came up for a visit and took us for a nice ride in their car and a visit to their office being that we were both 18, it was a dry campus, and a few other minor details. That is a tamer one, anyway
Posts: 80,659

01-14-2005, 04:21 PM	#4
Mr. Kotter The Dude Abides Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Dakota Country Casino cash: $5845285	I'll come back tonight drunk....I got a couple of doosies: good thing the statute of limitations has run out. __________________ "I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.”
Posts: 46,352

01-14-2005, 04:22 PM	#6
\|Zach\| For The Glory Of The City Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $5306768	This is less funny and more so disgusting. But I went to MU to hang out and party with a bunch of my friends. It was a good time and everything was kind of winding down. Alot of people were asleep and I was talking to a buddy of mine on a couch. While we were talking a girl walked in. She looked really drunk and she was walking around. We were looking at her trying to figure out if she needed some help or not. A few seconds later she pulls her shorts and panties down out of nowhere. We both looked at eachother laughing but then she decideds to squat down and take a crap right there in this carpeted room...she then fell asleep right there. This poor girl happened to be in a sorority and her name was Whitney. Soon enough the whole greek universe found out and she was dubbed "Shitney" on campus. She ended up transferring...
Posts: 53,442

01-14-2005, 04:22 PM	#7
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17666178 VARSITY	Here's just the punchline: So I walk out of the store, it's downtown, middle of the day. At the stoplight in his squad car is my friend Tom. So I yell at him as loud as I can: "HEY PIG....Wanna Buy Some Coke?" Later that night at the bar I puked in the parking lot. You'll have to guess the rest.
Posts: 40,834

01-14-2005, 04:24 PM	#9
Bearcat Would an idiot do that? Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Arizona Casino cash: $2774931	This one time, I threw up on a cop... __________________
Posts: 55,365

01-14-2005, 04:28 PM	#14
\|Zach\| For The Glory Of The City Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $5306768	One of my good friends had to go through 2 years of highschool and 1 1\2 years of college without drinking. He got panchriatitis and was told by his doctor that if he drank alcohal it would have really bad repructions and could even mean death. So he never drank at all... Then later he goes to another one of his doctors and somehow they got on the subject of it. His new doctor said that the other one was mistaken and that his case was not chronic enough for alcohal to cause a problem. As long as he didn't go way way over board there was no reason he shouldnt be able to drink. He was so furious but happy at the same time. I still think his parents told the doctor to tell him he couldnt drink to keep him from drinking...
Posts: 53,442