Any advice for a soon to be dad?

Fat Elvis · 01-24-2005, 08:53 AM

I currently have a daughter, but she came with the wife in the marriage so I didn't start raising her until she was five. We have a new one on the way (late April early May), and quite frankly this little creature is the most awesome force of nature I have ever encountered. At once I am very excited about having a baby, but at the same time I am flat out terrified by the prospect. I think that is normal to feel that way. Anybody have any advice on how to prepare for the new arrival?

Thanks

Fat E

01-24-2005, 08:57 AM

No real advice, but I can tell you a couple of things based upon my experiences.

I wasn't very interested until the kids became interactive - most dads aren't. So, prepare to be bored with the child for the first several months. They're boring creatures who eat, sleep, and shit. Don't feel guilty about it and don't fake it. Your wife should have this explained to her as well.

InChiefsHeaven · 01-24-2005, 09:01 AM

Get plenty of rest, you will need it. Kids are definatly more fun after a couple of months, but I don't know. I read to my daughter, talked to her alot when she was first born. Now she's 13 and talks back...I miss those days...sigh...

Seriously, enjoy every minute of it. It goes fast...

wutamess · 01-24-2005, 09:02 AM

Just take it by the horns and ride this thing on out.
I'm in the same situation (stepdaughter is now 8 and my own is 9 months). Thing is... You have to sit down and talk to the 5yo and let her know what's expected with all the attention going the new one's way that she's still loved no matter what. Thing is... no matter how much you talk they'll still feel neglected but at least they can get some type of warning as to what's expected. It's a helluva shock being the only child to having the attention go to the new child.

Also give her a sense of responsiblity and tell her she's going to have to be the big sistser and help do more around the house (yada yada yada) and help look after the new addition. Even though she won't be doing more just make her think she's going to be the big responsible one.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, you have to treat yours the SAME way you treated the child that's already here. If not she'll see right through it as well as the mother. Basically no favortism because of the blood relation. It'll be hard but you have to keep your eye on the prize of the final product, which'll be 2 damn good kids who turn out to be responsible.

Hope this helps and congrats...
We're expecting our 3rd in Late July.

Marty Mac Ver 2.0 · 01-24-2005, 09:05 AM

You just described half of the male race...

[QUOTE=Phobia]They're boring creatures who eat, sleep, and shit. Don't feel guilty about it and don't fake it. [QUOTE]

MOhillbilly · 01-24-2005, 09:09 AM

Flush it before its head is to big.

wutamess · 01-24-2005, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

Flush it before its head is to big.

That was a joke made in bad taste.
Besides, it's "too"

~ Very bad/senseless joke.

InChiefsHeaven · 01-24-2005, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

Flush it before its head is to big.

You ARE going to Hell...you know that right?

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-24-2005, 09:11 AM

I know it's hard to believe, but for the most part the previous responses are right on (except Mobillys silliness)....even Phil's. As the father of four, 9 yrs and under, the only thing I would add is it is simultaneously the most rewarding and exhausting experience of your life. Kids are wonderful and a source of great joy, yet they are much more work and time than I ever imagined as a bachelor--IF you intend to be a good parent, and IF you want to raise them right.

Anyone can become a parent; but it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, patience, and compromise to be good dad. Be flexible and be willing to adjust; read some parenting books, or make sure you talk alot with your wife if SHE does that. First and foremost, be willing to learn from your mistakes. Swallow your pride, admit when you are wrong, and then move on. It's much easier said than done. Best wishes and good luck.

**Saulbadguy** · 01-24-2005, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

Flush it before its head is to big.

The Rick · 01-24-2005, 09:16 AM

It's a very, very surreal feeling when the child is born. At least, it was for me. I just kind of felt like things were moving around me and I was in my own little world or something.

I think everything has pretty much been covered. They aren't very interactive for a while. It's still fun, but different from what you expect. At least it was for me. It doesn't take them long to start doing little things like smiling, etc. It seems like yesterday my daughter was born and now she's 16-months-old, walking, talking, playing games, etc. She's a blast now (well, most of the time anyway).

Those are two things to know. An unexplained phenomenom happens when your child is born. Time actually speeds up. The days, months, and years actually become shorter. On the other hand, one of the best things about having a child is the feeling that you would do *anything* for them.

01-24-2005, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wutamess

That was a joke made in bad taste.
Besides, it's "too"

~ Very bad/senseless joke.

See what I mean about your sense of humor condition, Roger?

Everybody else thinks it was funny. This is ChiefsPlanet, not a baby funeral.

chiefz · 01-24-2005, 09:20 AM

Don't be afraid of the baby, at first you will feel like if you hold them wrong they will break but give it a little time and you will get more comfortable.

I know a lot of dads that have very little to do with their children until they becoming toddlers for that very reason.

Good luck

**morphius** · 01-24-2005, 09:21 AM

The lack of sleep was a killer for me. It sounds odd, but talk to the baby in the belly. When my son was born they moved him to the table to clean him up, and do their tests and what not, which of course lead to lots of screaming, but a few seconds of my voice he calmed right down. Phobia is pretty much right though, I don't remember having a lot of fun with the baby until he started learning things, though them learning to smile back you is kind of cool.

wutamess · 01-24-2005, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

See what I mean about your sense of humor condition, Roger?

Everybody else thinks it was funny. This is ChiefsPlanet, not a baby funeral.

Dude... the baby isn't even here yet and he makes a comment like that?
If someone thinks it was funny it probably was but, that doesn't mean that it wasn't offensive.
I know he didn't really mean it, but it was still bad timing IMO.

~I have no problem with Mohibilly.

01-24-2005, 08:53 AM
Fat Elvis Sexiest Athlete Join Date: Apr 2001 Casino cash: $1401925	Any advice for a soon to be dad? I currently have a daughter, but she came with the wife in the marriage so I didn't start raising her until she was five. We have a new one on the way (late April early May), and quite frankly this little creature is the most awesome force of nature I have ever encountered. At once I am very excited about having a baby, but at the same time I am flat out terrified by the prospect. I think that is normal to feel that way. Anybody have any advice on how to prepare for the new arrival? Thanks Fat E
Posts: 12,398

01-24-2005, 08:57 AM	#2
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	No real advice, but I can tell you a couple of things based upon my experiences. I wasn't very interested until the kids became interactive - most dads aren't. So, prepare to be bored with the child for the first several months. They're boring creatures who eat, sleep, and shit. Don't feel guilty about it and don't fake it. Your wife should have this explained to her as well.
Posts: n/a

01-24-2005, 09:01 AM	#3
InChiefsHeaven Rockin' yer FACE OFF! Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Casino cash: $3784937	Get plenty of rest, you will need it. Kids are definatly more fun after a couple of months, but I don't know. I read to my daughter, talked to her alot when she was first born. Now she's 13 and talks back...I miss those days...sigh... Seriously, enjoy every minute of it. It goes fast... __________________ We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... Die Donks, DIE!! Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!!
Posts: 25,748

01-24-2005, 09:02 AM	#4
wutamess MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lee's Summit Casino cash: $5331637	Just take it by the horns and ride this thing on out. I'm in the same situation (stepdaughter is now 8 and my own is 9 months). Thing is... You have to sit down and talk to the 5yo and let her know what's expected with all the attention going the new one's way that she's still loved no matter what. Thing is... no matter how much you talk they'll still feel neglected but at least they can get some type of warning as to what's expected. It's a helluva shock being the only child to having the attention go to the new child. Also give her a sense of responsiblity and tell her she's going to have to be the big sistser and help do more around the house (yada yada yada) and help look after the new addition. Even though she won't be doing more just make her think she's going to be the big responsible one. MOST IMPORTANTLY, you have to treat yours the SAME way you treated the child that's already here. If not she'll see right through it as well as the mother. Basically no favortism because of the blood relation. It'll be hard but you have to keep your eye on the prize of the final product, which'll be 2 damn good kids who turn out to be responsible. Hope this helps and congrats... We're expecting our 3rd in Late July.
Posts: 8,279

01-24-2005, 09:05 AM	#5
Marty Mac Ver 2.0 SaveOurChiefs.com Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $10005625	You just described half of the male race... [QUOTE=Phobia]They're boring creatures who eat, sleep, and shit. Don't feel guilty about it and don't fake it. [QUOTE] __________________ It's not the number of years in your life but the amount of life in your years!
Posts: 1,631

01-24-2005, 09:09 AM	#6
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Flush it before its head is to big. __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

01-24-2005, 09:11 AM	#9
Mr. Kotter The Dude Abides Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Dakota Country Casino cash: $5805285	I know it's hard to believe, but for the most part the previous responses are right on (except Mobillys silliness)....even Phil's. As the father of four, 9 yrs and under, the only thing I would add is it is simultaneously the most rewarding and exhausting experience of your life. Kids are wonderful and a source of great joy, yet they are much more work and time than I ever imagined as a bachelor--IF you intend to be a good parent, and IF you want to raise them right. Anyone can become a parent; but it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, patience, and compromise to be good dad. Be flexible and be willing to adjust; read some parenting books, or make sure you talk alot with your wife if SHE does that. First and foremost, be willing to learn from your mistakes. Swallow your pride, admit when you are wrong, and then move on. It's much easier said than done. Best wishes and good luck. __________________ "I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.”
Posts: 46,352

01-24-2005, 09:16 AM	#11
The Rick Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Milwaukee, WI Casino cash: $7581320	It's a very, very surreal feeling when the child is born. At least, it was for me. I just kind of felt like things were moving around me and I was in my own little world or something. I think everything has pretty much been covered. They aren't very interactive for a while. It's still fun, but different from what you expect. At least it was for me. It doesn't take them long to start doing little things like smiling, etc. It seems like yesterday my daughter was born and now she's 16-months-old, walking, talking, playing games, etc. She's a blast now (well, most of the time anyway). Those are two things to know. An unexplained phenomenom happens when your child is born. Time actually speeds up. The days, months, and years actually become shorter. On the other hand, one of the best things about having a child is the feeling that you would do anything for them.
Posts: 2,438

01-24-2005, 09:20 AM	#13
chiefz Plummer Sucks! Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Central IL Casino cash: $10004900	Don't be afraid of the baby, at first you will feel like if you hold them wrong they will break but give it a little time and you will get more comfortable. I know a lot of dads that have very little to do with their children until they becoming toddlers for that very reason. Good luck __________________
Posts: 514

01-24-2005, 09:21 AM	#14
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6905027	The lack of sleep was a killer for me. It sounds odd, but talk to the baby in the belly. When my son was born they moved him to the table to clean him up, and do their tests and what not, which of course lead to lots of screaming, but a few seconds of my voice he calmed right down. Phobia is pretty much right though, I don't remember having a lot of fun with the baby until he started learning things, though them learning to smile back you is kind of cool.
Posts: 25,972