Masturbating with Margarine

begbie · 03-29-2005, 07:57 AM

What a twat! Dude gets caught wanking in store with butter

Teen charged for masturbating with a tub of margarine in grocery store

on a serious note, has anyone ever pulled with butter/margarine?

Pennywise · 03-29-2005, 08:10 AM

Before blowing a nut he should have screamed 'I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER!!'

wutamess · 03-29-2005, 08:11 AM

No sir can't say I have.

Maybe this should've been specific question for EnDelt.

dilligaf · 03-29-2005, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Just don't use Crisco. It's shortening.

I cant afford that.

cookster50 · 03-29-2005, 08:25 AM

Fake story. Funny though!

**alpha_omega** · 03-29-2005, 08:48 AM

Sounds like a good reason to quit eating margarine or butter.

NJ Chief Fan · 03-29-2005, 08:51 AM

LOL @ the i cant believe its not butter comment

ChiefJustice · 03-29-2005, 08:54 AM

This is why i have a life-time ban from Red Lobster

Jeez,what does it take to impress a girl on a blind date?

**Saulbadguy** · 03-29-2005, 09:06 AM

This reminds me of that Dane Cook joke.

begbie · 03-29-2005, 09:26 AM

i once had a mate cut out the bottom of a popcorn bag and stick his todger through it on a first date... he never seen the girl again

**ChiTown** · 03-29-2005, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by begbie

i once had a mate cut out the bottom of a popcorn bag and stick his todger through it on a first date... he never seen the girl again

You gotta be kidding me. I knew a kid who did this as well. He was an 8th grader, and we were at the old Fine Arts theater in Fairway, KS.

He had alerted us of his idea so we could get a good idea of what was going to happen. Dude had a huge member, so it wasn't like she was going to be grabbing for a Junior Mint on her surprise reach. He asked her to go get him a coke after they got their seat. When she left, he slid his johnson through the bottom of the card bard box. Upon her return and the movie starting, she finally got the prize. Stunned and grabbing something other than popcorn, she looked into the box and screamed.

OMG! It was hilarious. He had to stick his hand over her mouth and calm her down before the usher came down the aisle to inquire wtf was gong on.

She settled down and stayed for the movie. Apparently, she unloaded a bit of his man-butter after the show - none of it hit the popcorn..........

**Rain Man** · 03-29-2005, 10:46 AM

Kids today are so lazy. I mean, the Vaseline is what, two, maybe three aisles down? Come on.

keg in kc · 03-29-2005, 10:49 AM

Hey, I'll try anything once. Well, almost anything.

Ebolapox · 03-29-2005, 11:17 AM

sounds like a good time to break out the ole' "don't knock it til' you've tried it"... but that just doesn't sound right

-EB-

keg in kc · 03-29-2005, 11:42 AM

"Spank the monkey" will soon be replaced by "Pound some parkay".

Sorry fellas, gotta run. Have this urge to churn some butter.

03-29-2005, 07:57 AM
begbie Rookie Join Date: Jan 2005 Casino cash: $10004900	Masturbating with Margarine What a twat! Dude gets caught wanking in store with butter Teen charged for masturbating with a tub of margarine in grocery store on a serious note, has anyone ever pulled with butter/margarine?
Posts: 24

03-29-2005, 08:10 AM	#2
Pennywise pew pew madafakas Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Derry, Maine Casino cash: $2004400	Before blowing a nut he should have screamed 'I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER!!'
Posts: 7,777

03-29-2005, 08:11 AM	#3
wutamess MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lee's Summit Casino cash: $5381637	No sir can't say I have. Maybe this should've been specific question for EnDelt.
Posts: 8,275

03-29-2005, 08:25 AM	#5
cookster50 Supreme Commander of My House Join Date: Apr 2004 Casino cash: $3163622	Fake story. Funny though!
Posts: 3,431

03-29-2005, 08:48 AM	#6
alpha_omega Supporter Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Liberty Casino cash: $1641251	Sounds like a good reason to quit eating margarine or butter.
Posts: 16,737

03-29-2005, 08:51 AM	#7
NJ Chief Fan DAMMIT CARL! Join Date: Mar 2005 Casino cash: $10004900	LOL @ the i cant believe its not butter comment
Posts: 2,510

03-29-2005, 08:54 AM	#8
ChiefJustice The Stig Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: "Some say he has no home" Casino cash: $10004900	This is why i have a life-time ban from Red Lobster Jeez,what does it take to impress a girl on a blind date? __________________ Dante Hicks: But you hate people. Randal Graves: Yes, but I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
Posts: 4,806

03-29-2005, 09:06 AM	#9
Saulbadguy When a nightmare becomes real Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $2636966	This reminds me of that Dane Cook joke.
Posts: 46,965

03-29-2005, 09:26 AM	#10
begbie Rookie Join Date: Jan 2005 Casino cash: $10004900	i once had a mate cut out the bottom of a popcorn bag and stick his todger through it on a first date... he never seen the girl again
Posts: 24

03-29-2005, 10:46 AM	#12
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3318491 VARSITY	Kids today are so lazy. I mean, the Vaseline is what, two, maybe three aisles down? Come on. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,428

03-29-2005, 10:49 AM	#13
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	Hey, I'll try anything once. Well, almost anything.
Posts: 58,682

03-29-2005, 11:17 AM	#14
Ebolapox remember, remember Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: como Casino cash: $2089903	sounds like a good time to break out the ole' "don't knock it til' you've tried it"... but that just doesn't sound right -EB-
Posts: 26,428

03-29-2005, 11:42 AM	#15
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	"Spank the monkey" will soon be replaced by "Pound some parkay". Sorry fellas, gotta run. Have this urge to churn some butter.
Posts: 58,682