Major Scientific Discovery!

DenverChief · 04-04-2005, 09:13 PM

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay
but instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element which radiates just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Logical · 04-04-2005, 09:18 PM

Pretty funny

DenverChief · 04-04-2005, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav

Pretty funny

I like the last paragraph the most...

Ultra Peanut · 04-04-2005, 10:02 PM

Isodope. Nice.

DenverChief · 04-04-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psicosis

Isodope. Nice.

**Mr. Kotter** · 04-04-2005, 10:13 PM

Humor from science types....rare....refreshing....and radical.

Analytic humor deserves a -8 or -9 handicap; considering that, this is mildly humorous.

04-04-2005, 09:13 PM
DenverChief MVP Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $5969867	Major Scientific Discovery! A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay but instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Posts: 16,138

04-04-2005, 09:18 PM	#2
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Pretty funny
Posts: 31,579

04-04-2005, 10:02 PM	#4
Ultra Peanut v^V^v^V^v^V^ Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Holland* Casino cash: $10005177	Isodope. Nice. __________________
Posts: 39,518

04-04-2005, 10:13 PM	#6
Mr. Kotter The Dude Abides Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Dakota Country Casino cash: $5895285	Humor from science types....rare....refreshing....and radical. Analytic humor deserves a -8 or -9 handicap; considering that, this is mildly humorous. __________________ "I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.”
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