Hypothetical: Groupies

**Rain Man** · 07-14-2005, 02:00 PM

In this hypothetical situation, you're a #1 pick in the NFL draft, and suddenly you're worth tens of millions of dollars and your face is well-known across the land. You're 22 years old, and have the normal 22-year-old urges.

Despite being as ugly as Eli Manning, every day at the laundromat, the 7/11, the nudie bar, and the benefit dinner for disabled athletes who hope for an Espy, you encounter ten or more spectacular young women who are more than willing to "date" you, with varying definitions of the word "date."

Having attended the NFL rookie symposium, you know that some of these women want to marry you, some want to brag to their friends that you were (ahem) their "boyfriend", some want to have your baby and a $100,000 annuity for child support, and some want to get some fluid samples for a rape charge.

Think back (or forward) about what you were like at the age of 22. Realistically, what would you end up doing in this situation? Poll forthcoming.

Simplex3 · 07-14-2005, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

...and the benefit dinner for disabled athletes who hope for an Espy...

Something tells me this is going to haunt me for a while...

keg in kc · 07-14-2005, 02:03 PM

I'd probably live alone and never go anywhere, hoarding my money like Ebenezer Scrooge.

Bootlegged · 07-14-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

In this hypothetical situation, you're a #1 pick in the NFL draft, and suddenly you're worth tens of millions of dollars and your face is well-known across the land. You're 22 years old, and have the normal 22-year-old urges.

Despite being as ugly as Eli Manning, every day at the laundromat, the 7/11, the nudie bar, and the benefit dinner for disabled athletes who hope for an Espy, you encounter ten or more spectacular young women who are more than willing to "date" you, with varying definitions of the word "date."

Having attended the NFL rookie symposium, you know that some of these women want to marry you, some want to brag to their friends that you were (ahem) their "boyfriend", some want to have your baby and a $100,000 annuity for child support, and some want to get some fluid samples for a rape charge.

Think back (or forward) about what you were like at the age of 22. Realistically, what would you end up doing in this situation? Poll forthcoming.

I told them my name was Brock Mexico and banged them.

Katipan · 07-14-2005, 02:11 PM

if i was a guy, i'd snip the boys, double wrap the tool, plug every chick I could, until I got bored. I'd also make every chick read one of those we aren't libel statements you have to read when you do something stupid like bungee jump or sky dive, on camera. I suppose I should make sure they showed 2 forms of age verifing I.D. and were at least 8's.

KChiefsQT · 07-14-2005, 02:12 PM

I would find the hottest *bitch* in America and make her mine. IF I WAS A GUY!!!

shakesthecat · 07-14-2005, 02:13 PM

I'd have put Chamberlain, Gene Simmons, and Shawn Kemp to shame.

Or died trying.

Simplex3 · 07-14-2005, 02:14 PM

Damn, two chick posts in a row. I'm going to have to go spend some "quiet time" if Jenny or Red show up anytime soon...

Simplex3 · 07-14-2005, 02:17 PM

After careful consideration I had to go with the following option:

I'd resist. I'd only date women who came with a recommendation from someone I trust.

First, that's the kind of guy I am and was. Second, it would be a crying shame to make all that money and then die young because you picked up the HIV from some nameless bimbo. Third, false rape reports are all to common, especially against men with money. Forth, paternity suits suck.

chagrin · 07-14-2005, 02:18 PM

Wilt is my middle name

PunkinDrublic · 07-14-2005, 02:18 PM

Well you gotta figure these guys were already getting the same treatment in college and banging the hottest chicks in their University so the step up in the pros wouldn't be that much of a stretch. It's not like a lot of rock stars who were geeks their whole lives and all of a sudden became famous and try to bang every hot chick they see. But it depends on the person. I would keep a few tens in the rotation with a coked out stripper to mix the pallet.

Hammock Parties · 07-14-2005, 02:25 PM

I'd probably have a faithful girlfriend from college, being the stud worthy of a high pick that I was.

Simplex3 · 07-14-2005, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs

I'd probably have a faithful girlfriend from college, being the stud worthy of a high pick that I was.

bzzzzzt. The last option was put in explicitly for you.

I don't know. I have no experience with women being attracted to me.

Thig Lyfe · 07-14-2005, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs

I'd probably have a faithful girlfriend from college, being the stud worthy of a high pick that I was.

This question does not apply to inflatable women.

Hammock Parties · 07-14-2005, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3

bzzzzzt. The last option was put in explicitly for you.

I don't know. I have no experience with women being attracted to me.

Nah. Anyone worthy of the #1 pick would be scoring all kinds of poon in college.

View Poll Results: What would you do? (Please read thread header. Women can reverse the genders.)
Truthfully, I'd probably go all Wilt Chamberlain on them. As many as possible, every day.	17	25.37%
I'd be moderately promiscuous. I'd cherry pick off the top 10 or 20 percent.	27	40.30%
I'd be picky, but I'd partake. Maybe 1 in 100 would get past first base.	13	19.40%
I'd primarily resist. I'd only date women who don't seem to recognize me.	2	2.99%
I'd resist. I'd only date women who came with a recommendation from someone I trust.	2	2.99%
I'd be a virgin forever. It's where I get my power.	3	4.48%
I don't know. I have no experience with women being attracted to me.	3	4.48%
Voters: 67. You may not vote on this poll

07-14-2005, 02:00 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3278491 VARSITY	Hypothetical: Groupies In this hypothetical situation, you're a #1 pick in the NFL draft, and suddenly you're worth tens of millions of dollars and your face is well-known across the land. You're 22 years old, and have the normal 22-year-old urges. Despite being as ugly as Eli Manning, every day at the laundromat, the 7/11, the nudie bar, and the benefit dinner for disabled athletes who hope for an Espy, you encounter ten or more spectacular young women who are more than willing to "date" you, with varying definitions of the word "date." Having attended the NFL rookie symposium, you know that some of these women want to marry you, some want to brag to their friends that you were (ahem) their "boyfriend", some want to have your baby and a $100,000 annuity for child support, and some want to get some fluid samples for a rape charge. Think back (or forward) about what you were like at the age of 22. Realistically, what would you end up doing in this situation? Poll forthcoming.
Posts: 141,479

07-14-2005, 02:03 PM	#3
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I'd probably live alone and never go anywhere, hoarding my money like Ebenezer Scrooge.
Posts: 58,682

07-14-2005, 02:11 PM	#5
Katipan MER Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $2720351	if i was a guy, i'd snip the boys, double wrap the tool, plug every chick I could, until I got bored. I'd also make every chick read one of those we aren't libel statements you have to read when you do something stupid like bungee jump or sky dive, on camera. I suppose I should make sure they showed 2 forms of age verifing I.D. and were at least 8's.
Posts: 22,639

07-14-2005, 02:12 PM	#6
KChiefsQT Kara G! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California Casino cash: $9325122	I would find the hottest bitch in America and make her mine. IF I WAS A GUY!!! __________________ ~Just a girl who loves football~
Posts: 4,070

07-14-2005, 02:13 PM	#7
shakesthecat Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: IA Casino cash: $4263833	I'd have put Chamberlain, Gene Simmons, and Shawn Kemp to shame. Or died trying.
Posts: 3,353

07-14-2005, 02:14 PM	#8
Simplex3 MVP Join Date: Sep 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	Damn, two chick posts in a row. I'm going to have to go spend some "quiet time" if Jenny or Red show up anytime soon...
Posts: 28,527

07-14-2005, 02:17 PM	#9
Simplex3 MVP Join Date: Sep 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	After careful consideration I had to go with the following option: I'd resist. I'd only date women who came with a recommendation from someone I trust. First, that's the kind of guy I am and was. Second, it would be a crying shame to make all that money and then die young because you picked up the HIV from some nameless bimbo. Third, false rape reports are all to common, especially against men with money. Forth, paternity suits suck.
Posts: 28,527

07-14-2005, 02:18 PM	#10
chagrin Giggitty! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missoula, Mt Casino cash: $9914905	Wilt is my middle name __________________ Times have changed, so have I, things are better now.
Posts: 13,394

07-14-2005, 02:18 PM	#11
PunkinDrublic Stay down bitch! Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Plano, TX Casino cash: $6420670	Well you gotta figure these guys were already getting the same treatment in college and banging the hottest chicks in their University so the step up in the pros wouldn't be that much of a stretch. It's not like a lot of rock stars who were geeks their whole lives and all of a sudden became famous and try to bang every hot chick they see. But it depends on the person. I would keep a few tens in the rotation with a coked out stripper to mix the pallet. __________________ Disappointing my parents since 1976
Posts: 9,156

07-14-2005, 02:25 PM	#12
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4670478	I'd probably have a faithful girlfriend from college, being the stud worthy of a high pick that I was. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 278,041