ONLY IN AMERICA :)

KChiefsQT · 10-25-2005, 12:56 PM

Just thought this might make some of you smile at least once...

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

munkey · 10-25-2005, 01:01 PM

ChiefFripp · 10-25-2005, 01:04 PM

ALL of those were good.

jidar · 10-25-2005, 01:06 PM

Welcome to 1997

**luv** · 10-25-2005, 01:07 PM

I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open!

KChiefsQT · 10-25-2005, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv2rite

I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open!

hAHAHAHA Props!!

Kclee · 10-25-2005, 01:13 PM

George Carlin rocks.

**ptlyon** · 10-25-2005, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv2rite

I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open!

smile like a donut!

**ptlyon** · 10-25-2005, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kclee

George Carlin rocks.

I thought it was Robin Williams?

**luv** · 10-25-2005, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon

smile like a donut!

shakesthecat · 10-25-2005, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ptlyon

I thought it was Robin Williams?

I coulda swore it was Ted Nugent

**BigRedChief** · 10-25-2005, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakesthecat

I coulda swore it was Ted Nugent

Nope. Andy Rooney

Simplex3 · 10-25-2005, 01:32 PM

Are all of you jackasses finished trying to place credit for Scanlon's work elsewhere?

10-25-2005, 12:56 PM
KChiefsQT Kara G! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: California Casino cash: $9325122	ONLY IN AMERICA :) Just thought this might make some of you smile at least once... Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ! Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ! Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Posts: 4,070

10-25-2005, 01:01 PM	#2
munkey Veteran Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Bend Oregon Casino cash: $10007596	__________________ "In the time of chimpanzees I was a munkey"
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10-25-2005, 01:04 PM	#3
ChiefFripp Veteran Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: KC Casino cash: $10004900	ALL of those were good.
Posts: 2,579

10-25-2005, 01:06 PM	#4
jidar MVP Join Date: May 2005 Location: a Casino cash: $10004900	Welcome to 1997
Posts: 5,502

10-25-2005, 01:07 PM	#5
luv MY LITTLE #15 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Springfield, MO Casino cash: $6239600	I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open!
Posts: 63,427

10-25-2005, 01:13 PM	#7
Kclee Veteran Join Date: Mar 2002 Casino cash: $10014147	George Carlin rocks. __________________ If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
Posts: 2,245

10-25-2005, 01:32 PM	#13
Simplex3 MVP Join Date: Sep 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	Are all of you jackasses finished trying to place credit for Scanlon's work elsewhere?
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