Chiefs Bill Simmons on Larry Johnson

'Hamas' Jenkins · 12-05-2008, 02:45 PM

Hey, is there any way for the Chiefs to hypnotize Larry Johnson into thinking every short-yardage situation is really a crowded bar filled with the boyfriends of women who just resisted his advances?

Here's another:

Let's settle this once and for all: Did Jared Allen tell his barber, "Make my hair look exactly like Nic Cage in 'Con Air'"?

**Reaper16** · 12-05-2008, 02:48 PM

He's funny when he's not bitching about how hard it is to be a Boston sports fan.

raybec 4 · 12-05-2008, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reaper16

He's funny when he's not bitching about how hard it is to be a Boston sports fan.

He's kinda eased up on that since the Sox won the series.

**Reaper16** · 12-05-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raybec 4

He's kinda eased up on that since the Sox won the series.

Eased up? Sure. That's what makes it annoying when he still does it: it isn't hard, at all, to be a Boston sports fan.

Yet he still bitches about it. He was crying into his vagina when the Pats didn't go 19-0, etc. His schtick is ****ing interminable.

'Hamas' Jenkins · 12-05-2008, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reaper16

Eased up? Sure. That's what makes it annoying when he still does it: it isn't hard, at all, to be a Boston sports fan.

Yet he still bitches about it. He was crying into his vagina when the Pats didn't go 19-0, etc. His schtick is ****ing interminable.

He's intolerable during baseball season, but he's one of the best basketball guys alive. If he'd stick to the NBA and pr0n, he'd be much better.

Basileus777 · 12-05-2008, 03:12 PM

I don't really care for Simmons' writing for anything other than basketball, and even his basketball writing has been pretty poor the last year. But if you're reading Simmons for actual sports analysis, you're doing it wrong; he's only good for some laughs.

Hootie · 12-05-2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

He's intolerable during baseball season, but he's one of the best basketball guys alive. If he'd stick to the NBA and pr0n, he'd be much better.

Yeah that dude has INCREDIBLE basketball knowledge...he knows the game as well as anyone and would have made a GREAT GM for the Bucks.

You are totally right about baseball season, Bill is my favorite sports writer but I hate Boston, Tom Brady, etc... so I hate the constant Boston shit...but he'll put out a few awesome mailbags worth reading during baseball season.

Hootie · 12-05-2008, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Basileus777

I don't really care for Simmons' writing for anything other than basketball, and even his basketball writing has been pretty poor the last year. But if you're reading Simmons for actual sports analysis, you're doing it wrong; he's only good for some laughs.

In terms of football, I agree...even though he called the whole 'home field advantage' only exists in a few NFL stadiums these days a few weeks ago (home teams went 2-10 last year) blaming the new state-of-the-art stadiums...

Said only a few teams had real home field advantage (Chiefs and Raiders were included, but only if they were competitive)...he was pretty spot on with that one.

JuicesFlowing · 12-05-2008, 06:53 PM

Zing!

homey · 12-05-2008, 07:28 PM

I've been saying we need to use that cnn hologram technology and hologram in a drunk white girl on the plaza in the opponent's backfield. That would get him riled up.

dj56dt58 · 12-05-2008, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reaper16

He's funny when he's not bitching about how hard it is to be a Boston sports fan.

cant be that goddamn hard

12-05-2008, 02:45 PM
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $8009572	Bill Simmons on Larry Johnson Hey, is there any way for the Chiefs to hypnotize Larry Johnson into thinking every short-yardage situation is really a crowded bar filled with the boyfriends of women who just resisted his advances? Here's another: Let's settle this once and for all: Did Jared Allen tell his barber, "Make my hair look exactly like Nic Cage in 'Con Air'"?
Posts: 74,829

12-05-2008, 03:12 PM	#6
Basileus777 MVP Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: New Jersey Casino cash: $5385958	I don't really care for Simmons' writing for anything other than basketball, and even his basketball writing has been pretty poor the last year. But if you're reading Simmons for actual sports analysis, you're doing it wrong; he's only good for some laughs.
Posts: 9,219

12-05-2008, 06:53 PM	#9
JuicesFlowing Losing with passion. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Oblivion Casino cash: $10004925	Zing!
Posts: 4,399

12-05-2008, 07:28 PM	#10
homey Shot Caller Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $10004900	I've been saying we need to use that cnn hologram technology and hologram in a drunk white girl on the plaza in the opponent's backfield. That would get him riled up. __________________ " Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.” - George W. Bush 4/9/99
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