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Old 06-03-2011, 11:43 AM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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Worst Criminal Defense EVAH
"Honest your Honor, I'm just a bad tickler!"

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KANSAS CITY—
A Kansas City man is facing his second sex crime charge in less than a month. Police suspect 26-year-old Mark Thomas sodomized a four-year-old girl in a hotel room.

In court documents, Thomas told police he was just a "bad tickler" and that his finger slipped.

Thomas is already in jail awaiting legal proceedings on a separate sodomy charge involving a six-year-old girl.
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:47 AM   #2
seclark seclark is offline
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he needs to be tickled w/a sledge hammer.
sec
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Old 06-03-2011, 11:47 AM   #3
4th and Long 4th and Long is offline
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4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.4th and Long threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:06 PM   #4
ReynardMuldrake ReynardMuldrake is offline
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I'm sure his wrestling coach taught him that one.
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:09 PM   #5
talastan talastan is offline
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Lets hope his cellmate in the future is a "bad tickler". Let the punishment fit the crime!
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:18 PM   #6
tooge tooge is offline
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Lets hope his cellmate in the future is a "bad tickler". Let the punishment fit the crime!
Now get on over here and suck your wifes dick
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:19 PM   #7
listopencil listopencil is offline
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"Sodomized" means he stuck his finger up a little girls butt, right?
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:21 PM   #8
tooge tooge is offline
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it means he stuck something up her butt. Finger, dick, tongue, toe, does it really matter?
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:25 PM   #9
listopencil listopencil is offline
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it means he stuck something up her butt. Finger, dick, tongue, toe, does it really matter?
I assume he stuck his finger up her butt because of the "bad tickler" defense. Man. I would beat the living crap out of that guy if it were my daughter. Maybe kill him in the process.
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:30 PM   #10
Fumblerooski Fumblerooski is offline
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I assume he stuck his finger up her butt because of the "bad tickler" defense. Man. I would beat the living crap out of that guy if it were my daughter. Maybe kill him in the process.
You may remove the 'maybe' from the last sentence... I have 2 little girls, and words cannot describe the final things any sick **** that touched them would see...
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They have a right to sit the **** down, shut right the **** up, and eat ONE hotdog; without smiling or making any sort of noise during the game.

That's what the **** they're entitled to.
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:32 PM   #11
listopencil listopencil is offline
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You may remove the 'maybe' from the last sentence... I have 2 little girls, and words cannot describe the final things any sick **** that touched them would see...
Depends on whether I had enough presence of mind to stop in time so he could still enjoy his jail time.
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Old 06-03-2011, 12:36 PM   #12
talastan talastan is offline
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You may remove the 'maybe' from the last sentence... I have 2 little girls, and words cannot describe the final things any sick **** that touched them would see...
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Originally Posted by listopencil View Post
Depends on whether I had enough presence of mind to stop in time so he could still enjoy his jail time.
THIS x 2 - I'd like to think I'm pretty calm and level-headed but if any sicko ever touched my kids, I'd make American History X a family-friendly movie compared to what I'd do to them.
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Old 06-03-2011, 01:22 PM   #13
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I always thought the "Twinkie Defense" was the worst EVAH?

This one hits a new record I guess.
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:24 PM   #14
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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I always thought the "Twinkie Defense" was the worst EVAH?

This one hits a new record I guess.
Twinkie Defense only works if you track down and kill a Gay co-worker.
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:29 PM   #15
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My kids are grown however I now have a granddaughter. On my mothers grave this shitbag never gets to jail. One way or another I would find a way to make him dead~
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