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Old 01-09-2012, 11:29 AM  
Micjones Micjones is offline
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Other women.

I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship.

So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down".

I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false.

Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship...
Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women?

In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake.

True or false?
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Old 01-09-2012, 08:53 PM   #121
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Old 01-09-2012, 09:15 PM   #122
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I'd say that she needs to be told (to tell her friend) that if the woman wants to keep the man's desire to stay monogamous, it's up to her to be better than all those other women. We're cool, we get "that week", but too much of a non-thing just kills the desire to NOT spread your seed. Or just get some! So, repulsed or not, the better stay on top of things, or "he" (you) will get on top of other things...
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:56 PM   #123
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My wife and I are very honest with each other.

One day she asked me if I ever wanted to have sex with another woman.
I looked her dead in the eye and said yes every day.

She was a bit shocked and I explained that I decided to marry her when I was sure I would never act on that impulse. That I had to much respect for her and loved her more than she would ever know.

She has never asked again.

Ang
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:00 PM   #124
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Originally Posted by Micjones View Post
I concur. This is what I tried to explain, but the idea that the desire is ever even there sent her over the edge.
Dump her. Way too insecure.
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:05 PM   #125
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:08 PM   #126
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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Chicks **** around as much as guys, they just like to act all innocent
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:08 PM   #127
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Old 01-09-2012, 11:22 PM   #128
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Right at the 59s mark... HEAR C. ROCK!

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http://youtu.be/vnZLcx6hIaE?t=59s

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Old 01-10-2012, 03:47 AM   #129
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In general... a man who is still breathing (regardless of age or committed-ness) is most likely going to look when a nice butt or rack walks by. This doesn't necessarily mean he wants to... or would... cheat. But window-shopping should be ok even if one has no intention of buying. Right?
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Old 01-10-2012, 06:42 AM   #130
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I feel as though I have an obligation to share my wealth of knowledge about this subjuct with younger guys based on the fact I've lived for awhile and have so much life experience in which to draw upon.

I just wish I could remember any of it.
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:44 AM   #131
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You are not an animal, you have control over your urges. But that doesn't make the urges go away.

I always explain it like this...I could be in love with probably a million people in the world, but I CHOSE my wife. That's because love is a choice not a feeling. Lust is a feeling. You have to control your feelings...otherwise we're just animals.
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:59 AM   #132
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Chicks **** around as much as guys, they just like to act all innocent
That is damn true.
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:01 AM   #133
trndobrd trndobrd is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by angelo View Post
My wife and I are very honest with each other.

One day she asked me if I ever wanted to have sex with another woman.
I looked her dead in the eye and said yes every day.

She was a bit shocked and I explained that I decided to marry her when I was sure I would never act on that impulse. That I had to much respect for her and loved her more than she would ever know.

She has never asked again.

Ang

Still, it's best not to use her best friend as a 'for instance'.
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Old 01-10-2012, 11:47 PM   #134
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So it's the woman's responsibility to make sure her man doesn't cheat. Interesting.
I find it interesting too.

However, a relationship is a 2-way street. What happens when a wife/gf's needs aren't being met? Let's say there's a lack of emotion/communication in the relationship yet there's plenty of sex. Do men ever worry that their wife/gf will seek out someone to help fill that void?

I don't mean to sound like a "typical chick" with my post, but think about it, gentlemen... a relationship without communication is like a relationship without sex. Plain and simple.
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:07 AM   #135
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Originally Posted by Lumpy View Post
I find it interesting too.

However, a relationship is a 2-way street. What happens when a wife/gf's needs aren't being met? Let's say there's a lack of emotion/communication in the relationship yet there's plenty of sex. Do men ever worry that their wife/gf will seek out someone to help fill that void?

I don't mean to sound like a "typical chick" with my post, but think about it, gentlemen... a relationship without communication is like a relationship without sex. Plain and simple.
Go ahead and talk or cry with another man if you need to.
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