The Divorce update!

[MTG#10]

Originally Posted by dirk digler

That is the hardest part. My advice and what I did was make it quick and painless as possible. No chit chat, no how you doing, just get the kids and leave.

Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

[dirk digler]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

Let her know your boundaries. I know in your situation it may be hard because you guys are going to stay married for a little bit but once you get your apartment it is your place and your rules. It will definitely make it easier because you can just meet her at the door, take the kids and say bye and shut the door.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Thats what ive been doing but she always comes up with an excuse to make it last...like a couple days ago i had the kids waiting for her in the driveway. When I seen her car coming I gave them a hug and went in. A minute later she knocks on the door and asks if she can get a couple of her belongings. She then starts trying to talk to me about something and I was forced to look at her. She does something like this every time.

In this case, the answer should have been no. Say you have an appointment to get to or something. Lie to the bitch. It's your house. You don't have to let her in. Tell her to call you later in the week and you'll work on her stuff.

Play the game by your rules.
Posted via Mobile Device

[MTG#10]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

In this case, the answer should have been no. Say you have an appointment to get to or something. Lie to the bitch. It's your house. You don't have to let her in. Tell her to call you later in the week and you'll work on her stuff.

Play the game by your rules.
Posted via Mobile Device

Either way I still have to see her, whether it was then or "later in the week"...

[KC Dan]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Either way I still have to see her, whether it was then or "later in the week"...

I've been in your shoes and can tell you that what others have said is exactly true - Live on your terms not hers. If she doesn't like it, sorry but you don't have to answer to her anymore - seperation is a bitch and has consequences. I had to deal with the same thing and anytime that we had to meet for whatever reason, I just put myself in a state of mind that I am the boss, and if she didn't like my way tough #$%^. Underneath my exterior, I was sometimes not really in that mode but I portrayed it until it became second nature.

She obviously was done with you when she left. Now, it's your turn - TAKE IT, you'll feel much better in the long run.

[dirk digler]

Originally Posted by KC Dan

I've been in your shoes and can tell you that what others have said is exactly true - Live on your terms not hers. If she doesn't like it, sorry but you don't have to answer to her anymore - seperation is a bitch and has consequences. I had to deal with the same thing and anytime that we had to meet for whatever reason, I just put myself in a state of mind that I am the boss, and if she didn't like my way tough #$%^. Underneath my exterior, I was sometimes not really in that mode but I portrayed it until it became second nature.

She obviously was done with you when she left. Now, it's your turn - TAKE IT, you'll feel much better in the long run.

Exactly.

[Buehler445]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Either way I still have to see her, whether it was then or "later in the week"...

Yeah, but it can be more controlled. You can force her to tell you what belongings she wants, box them the **** up and put them outside.

Plus it gives you time to mentally prepare. Mental preparation can do a lot to help a guy out. You weren't ready to see her when she picked up the kids. You weren't expecting it. Think about your interactions with her as a combat situation. Put defense mechanisms in place and do what you can to control the engagement with the enemy.
Posted via Mobile Device

[JOhn]

Originally Posted by Buehler445

In this case, the answer should have been no. Say you have an appointment to get to or something. Lie to the bitch. It's your house. You don't have to let her in. Tell her to call you later in the week and you'll work on her stuff.

Play the game by your rules.
Posted via Mobile Device

THIS

Is what I have had to do. She knows she is NOT allowed in my place at all. And she has an annoying habit of calling me with her number blocked, which I refuse to answer. And then she'll txt from her boyfriends number, which I won't answer either.

Make your rules and stick to them, you'll feel a lot better in the end.

[dirk digler]

Originally Posted by JOhn

THIS

Is what I have had to do. She knows she is NOT allowed in my place at all. And she has an annoying habit of calling me with her number blocked, which I refuse to answer. And then she'll txt from her boyfriends number, which I won't answer either.

Make your rules and stick to them, you'll feel a lot better in the end.

Yep. The best way to describe it is make yourself cold and business like. I was able to do that by forcing myself to hate her. After that it was all gravy.

[JOhn]

Originally Posted by dirk digler

Yep. The best way to describe it is make yourself cold and business like. I was able to do that by forcing myself to hate her. After that it was all gravy.

does take awhile, but now I see her and think " thank god I'm not with her"

[burt]

Originally Posted by JOhn

does take awhile, but now I see her and think " thank god I'm not with her"

A lousy lay sure did help get to that point!

[JOhn]

Originally Posted by burt

A lousy lay sure did help get to that point!

Funny thing, the longer I'm away from her, the more I realize what a Bitch she was. You really do over look a lot of things when you're with someone. I mean my ex is nice looking, hot even, but does absolutely nothing for me when I see her now.

Just remember to focus on those flaws, and it will make it easier.

[Simply Red]