Life Other women. - Page 6

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 11:29 AM

I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship.

So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down".

I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false.

Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship...
Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women?

In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake.

True or false?

**Nzoner** · 01-09-2012, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

You know my wife. She's a very strong and assertive woman. If tonight is not the night, I can change her mind once in about 10 times. I learned that early so I don't even try on 10% odds any longer. I'd go almost every night but obviously that's not incredibly realistic when you've been married 10 years so we've kind of figured out non-verbally when it's "on". If we didn't do it last night, I'll make a move. If we didn't do it last night or the night before, I know we're on unless I've been a dick that day. Heh.

Actually I should've said shift the clutch once in awhile because after 26 years of marriage my engine needs a little nudge to get into gear from time to time.

**luv** · 01-09-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Well, the key one is that we have to feel respected. If we feel disrespected for any reason then we turn into pathetic children. Respect isn't nearly as important to women so they don't understand why it is so integral to our existence.

It's not?

**Nzoner** · 01-09-2012, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

It's not?

As in respected as the man of the home,the one with the answers etc. We men need to feel that and if a woman can make us feel that she more than likely gets what she wants without demanding it.

Micjones · 01-09-2012, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suds79

Micjones. The mistake you made was talking about that or any urge.

Honestly what good does it serve to share that? Nothing.

Words of wisdom:
"I've never been hurt by something I didn't say." - Calvin Coolidge

If I'd spoken explicitly about my desires I'd agree.
That's NOT what happened. We were talking about another couple entirely.
And I spoke about the process of a man settling down.

01-09-2012, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

It's not?

Not in the way that it's important to men. No, not even close. You want to feel close, feel loved. If you feel distant for any reason to your man, you're not going to want to get naked with him...

Everything changes when you've been with somebody a long time. All the new dating or new marriage assumptions turn into work in maintaining a relationship.

**luv** · 01-09-2012, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nzoner

As in respected as the man of the home,the one with the answers etc. We men need to feel that and if a woman can make us feel that she more than likely gets what she wants without demanding it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

Not in the way that it's important to men. No, not even close. You want to feel close, feel loved. If you feel distant for any reason to your man, you're not going to want to get naked with him...

Everything changes when you've been with somebody a long time. All the new dating or new marriage assumptions turn into work in maintaining a relationship.

I see. Being single, respect is very important to me. Of course, I've recently learned to respect myself, so now I'm requiring it from others.

01-09-2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv

I see. Being single, respect is very important to me. Of course, I've recently learned to respect myself, so now I'm requiring it from others.

It's important to a woman, no doubt. But yeah - we're talking about women helping us feel like we're "The Man". If a husband feels emasculation from his woman then that marriage isn't going to do very well unless he's a very unique individual.

**Nzoner** · 01-09-2012, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

It's important to a woman, no doubt. But yeah - we're talking about women helping us feel like we're "The Man". If a husband feels emasculation from his woman then that marriage isn't going to do very well unless he's a very unique individual.

AMEN to that!

01-09-2012, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pants

Ahh, makes sense. Also, I learned from you a long time ago to fight the urge to fix their problems when they come complaining to us about their stupid shit at work. It's so hard to just sit and listen and nod and agree. ARGHHHH!

Heh. That's another good example. We want to fix everything. They just want to vent and be heard. They feel close when they have a confidante who will just listen. I think statistics show that women use more than 3x the amount of words a man does in the average day so if it feels like your wife won't shut up... it's because she won't. My wife talked all the way through the Texans/Bengals game the other day. It was crazy. I finally asked her when she was going to finish using her word quota for the day. Probably wasn't a smart thing for me to say because it came back on me later that night. Even though I was kidding, it stung for her. So I have to get smarter. I have to learn to engage her better so that she doesn't feel like she has to talk for 3 hours just to get my attention.

Fish · 01-09-2012, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

You know my wife. She's a very strong and assertive woman. If tonight is not the night, I can change her mind once in about 10 times. I learned that early so I don't even try on 10% odds any longer. I'd go almost every night but obviously that's not incredibly realistic when you've been married 10 years so we've kind of figured out non-verbally when it's "on". If we didn't do it last night, I'll make a move. If we didn't do it last night or the night before, I know we're on unless I've been a dick that day. Heh.

I don't know.... sounds awfully difficult...

Hammock Parties · 01-09-2012, 01:25 PM

Find a girl who likes threesomes. PROBLEM SOLVED.

**DaKCMan AP** · 01-09-2012, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omega

Find a girl who likes threesomes. PROBLEM SOLVED.

01-09-2012, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omega

Find a girl who likes threesomes. PROBLEM SOLVED.

I've been watching craigslist every single day.

eazyb81 · 01-09-2012, 01:34 PM

Phobia when can I sign up for your marriage seminar? You need to write a book dude.

stevieray · 01-09-2012, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eazyb81

Phobia when can I sign up for your marriage seminar? You need to write a book dude.

i told him all of this years ago...

01-09-2012, 11:29 AM
Micjones Whose house? Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $10005180	Other women. I had a discussion last night with my girlfriend about a relationship dilemma one of her closest friends is faced with. These kinds of conversations often serve as firestarters. If a man is too candid he can often represent an opinion that will be superimposed onto his own relationship. So the two of us were talking about the process of a man "settling down". I told her about a song I'd been listening to that gives the male perspective of this process. A skit preceded the song. In that skit a man lays out his account of how men always wrestle with the urge to sleep with other women. It was an "inside" conversation. The language was brash, but it was something most men could identify and stand in agreement with. Needless to say, she was repulsed by the idea that men are often desirous of other women. So now I'm in an odd position of having to answer to her about my own desires. I think women have these heart-warming ideas that a man who has committed himself to her no longer has an eye for other women. I think that's patently false. Gents when you settled down to a monogamous relationship... Was that a by-product of having sewn your oats or are you simply managing the urge to sleep with other women? In taking to older male friends I've been told time and time again that the desire to be with other women never goes away...you just manage it for fidelity's sake. True or false?
Posts: 15,344

01-09-2012, 01:25 PM	#86
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $990478	Find a girl who likes threesomes. PROBLEM SOLVED. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 296,793

01-09-2012, 01:34 PM	#89
eazyb81 The Illuminati Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: the road less traveled Casino cash: $9984900	Phobia when can I sign up for your marriage seminar? You need to write a book dude.
Posts: 12,033