need advice with family issue

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by tooge

Well, I don't trust him, and I'm not the one that caused all of this, so why should I have to "choose" to go and be uncomfortable just to be at thanksgiving for my mom. The guy knows how I feel, and if I were him, I'd stay away for a day or two and give the rest of us some time. Of course, I don't beat women either.

You would be there right? Are you worried that he might overpower you and light into your mom or your kids while you're licking your wounds? This just has the ring of rationalization to me. Your mom didn't take your advice and it irks you. If you're too uncomfortable, then by all means stay home. But let's be clear that you're putting your feelings ahead of your mom's if you make that choice.

If this guy is really a serious, imminent threat to your mom or anyone who shows up at Thanksgiving, then maybe you and your siblings should be holding an intervention instead of worrying about where to have Thanksgiving.