Parenting advice needed: 13 yo female

[wutamess]

Originally Posted by Coach

Well then, that kinda ruins the leverage you have, other than that you are paying for it.

If I ever was going to give one for my kid, I would pretty much set simple ground rules. I would pretty much simply say that I am not going to invade their privacy, but more of their simple trade-off rules, like since if I am paying for it, I expect the person to at least do some simple chores that is being asked out of my child. Along with the lines that I am trusting that child that they would make good decisions on the phone.

So, yes, I think turning off the phone is a little overkill, UNLESS you happen to find incriminating evidence of her showing her private parts to the person in question. Texts are borderline, but I would be willing to overlook that, but photos? Boom, gonna kill it with a sledgehammer.

I think you and your wife need to re-establish the rules as far as that is concerned. Don't mention anything about that what you saw. That's history now. The fact is that she didn't do what you have asked her to do, I'd say take the phone away for a week, and give it back to her if she does do the chores. If she continues not to do what you have asked her to do, then I'd extend the punishment longer.

I think she needs to understand that you two are respecting her privacy, but that she needs to respect you guys, as far as being asked to do.

Great points but you're focusing on the chores too much. She does the chores no problem and is honestly quite good about it. The story I gave was just a story about today. But we have no problem with her and chores... She's actually a GREAT kid, honest, sneaky as we all were, with a good head on her shoulders.

Pictures, I don't think she's sent nekidd pics of anything more than the fat girl lips out profile pose.

But I will make it clear that it's a proviledge. Text was disabled, so she got around that with Skype. Since I've disabled Skype from our network also.