My fathers' rights case

[Window Licking Whiner]

Hey guys, I'm trying to get some public exposure about my case in the media, and while I dont live in Missouri or Kansas, I do frequent here so I thought I'd share my story as well. Feel free to share if you are so inclined, any publicity I can get would be appreciated.

Take a look here:
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=20918

And here's my lawyers blog:
http://marcatanner.wordpress.com/201...fixable-hmmmm/

http://marcatanner.wordpress.com/201...tah-part-deux/

In our last hearing, she admitted that I'm the biological father, that she was telling me she wanted a divorce, that she did leave her husband, and that she was not having sex with her husband when the baby was concieved. Even after the judge chastised her for doing all that, they still said I have no right to ask for a DNA test.

Now think of it like this: If the husband had knocked up a single woman, could he also hide behind "the stability of the marriage", as isnt having a single woman asking for a DNA test interfereing in the marriage? Answer NO...they'd hit you up with CS and a DNA test so fast that your head would spin. This law only exists to protect women, and as such violates the equal protection clause of the constitution.

Anyways thought I would share my story.

[Window Licking Whiner]

Well thanks for some for the words of encouragement.

At one point we were going to settle, but after thinking about it long and hard decided that I needed to continue to fight.

I've never said I was a saint, I did mess around with a married woman (one whom left her husband and begged me to get her out of there). So am I guiltless ..no. But i'm not turning my back on my kid.

For those that wouldnt fight for their kid, perhaps it's just different upbringing that seperates us. I will continue to fight, I will probably lose, but I'm still going to fight. And if we win, Utah will not be allowed to **** the next guy who wants to be in his kid's life like this.

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by Pittsie

It's a tough scenario either way.

I'll amend my moral: Don't f**k a married woman.

I never called him a stand up guy for ****ing a married woman.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

Well thanks for some for the words of encouragement.

At one point we were going to settle, but after thinking about it long and hard decided that I needed to continue to fight.

I've never said I was a saint, I did mess around with a married woman (one whom left her husband and begged me to get her out of there). So am I guiltless ..no. But i'm not turning my back on my kid.

For those that wouldnt fight for their kid, perhaps it's just different upbringing that seperates us. I will continue to fight, I will probably lose, but I'm still going to fight. And if we win, Utah will not be allowed to **** the next guy who wants to be in his kid's life like this.

Good luck. Also, see post 58 for unintended consequences a win might have.

[Window Licking Whiner]

Originally Posted by Pittsie

Let's say, hypothetically, he's successful and men in UT are granted the right to request a DNA test. You can see how it might be bad public policy in situations where the adulterer isn't the father. The family just got put through the ringer for no good reason.

That's not bad policy at all. If the woman is cheating, and gets pregnant during that timeframe...then she should be put through the ringer.

And if the guy is just pulling the affair out of his ass...well guess what if you have no leg to stand on then you will be liable for the legal fees incurred by the married couple.

Getting to the bottom of the biology of a child is never bad policy.

[Window Licking Whiner]

Originally Posted by jspchief

Don't worry, you'll get your DNA test. Right after the husband leaves her and decides he doesn't want to pay child support on you kid.

Anyway, kudos for trying to do the right thing.

Sent from my ADR6350

Actually, if I lose she can never come after me for child support...ever. As in my losing they adjudicate the husbands paternity...once that is done even DNA tests cant refute that.

This has never been about money, if it was I wouldnt be fighting like I am.

[The Rick]

Originally Posted by Brock

You've been given a gift. Take it and run.

Sorry, but just like gochiefs_va, the "gift" for me would be being a part of my son's life.

Just curious, but do you have any kids Brock? I'm guessing you don't...

[Brock]

Originally Posted by The Rick

Sorry, but just like gochiefs_va, the "gift" for me would be being a part of my son's life.

Just curious, but do you have any kids Brock? I'm guessing you don't...

I'm putting my 3rd and 4th through college right now. But these are my kids, not some kids I "possibly" fathered through some dirty, sordid affair with a married crazy woman.

[Window Licking Whiner]

Originally Posted by Pittsie

Let's say, hypothetically, he's successful and men in UT are granted the right to request a DNA test. You can see how it might be bad public policy in situations where the adulterer isn't the father. The family just got put through the ringer for no good reason.

So men inside of marriages, are they not put through the ringer when a single woman claims he (the husband) fathered her child? Cause that happens every single day...yet because it's a woman you dont want to put the 'family' through that? Call it what it is..you dont want the woman to be put through that, yet you dont even mention the fact that men inside of marriages are put through that every single day(whether he did or didnt have an affair). That's the whole point of my case. Only men get put through the ringer...woman are protected by archaic laws like this.

Make it fair. If someone like me (a single person) asking for a paternity test of someone inside a marriage is intrusive....then it should go both ways. For men and for women.

[tooge]

Im trying to figure out why in the hell you had sex with her when she has two kids with HER HUSBAND, and was STILL MARRIED when you went to pick her up. You made this bed, and from the outside, if I'm the HUSBAND, I'm telling you to GFY.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

That's not bad policy at all. If the woman is cheating, and gets pregnant during that timeframe...then she should be put through the ringer.

And if the guy is just pulling the affair out of his ass...well guess what if you have no leg to stand on then you will be liable for the legal fees incurred by the married couple.

Getting to the bottom of the biology of a child is never bad policy.

UT family court, circa 2014.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

So men inside of marriages, are they not put through the ringer when a single woman claims he (the husband) fathered her child? Cause that happens every single day...yet because it's a woman you dont want to put the 'family' through that? Call it what it is..you dont want the woman to be put through that, yet you dont even mention the fact that men inside of marriages are put through that every single day(whether he did or didnt have an affair). That's the whole point of my case. Only men get put through the ringer...woman are protected by archaic laws like this.

Make it fair. If someone like me (a single person) asking for a paternity test of someone inside a marriage is intrusive....then it should go both ways. For men and for women.

Fairness isn't the goal, adulterer, it's the welfare of the child.

But you clearly have a problem understanding this concept.

[The Rick]

Originally Posted by Brock

I'm putting my 3rd and 4th through college right now. But these are my kids, not some kids I "possibly" fathered through some dirty, sordid affair with a married crazy woman.

OK, thanks. Guess we're just wired differently.

No matter what the circumstance, I don't think I could live with myself if I knew I had a child and wasn't doing everything possible to be a part of his or her life. It's why I could never be a sperm donor.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

Actually, if I lose she can never come after me for child support...ever. As in my losing they adjudicate the husbands paternity...once that is done even DNA tests cant refute that.

This has never been about money, if it was I wouldnt be fighting like I am.

What if you do win? Have you thought about what you would be able to do at that point?

Say that you did manage to change the antiquated process and actually get a DNA test. Say that test does prove you to be the father. Then what? That revelation wouldn't really guarantee that you'd see your child. All that would ensure is that you would be responsible for child support. And that very well could include back child support starting from when the child was born, along with court costs from the process.

Have you tried working with the mother to form some sort of arrangement outside of the legal system? Is there any possibility of that? If you've already tried, do you think it would be worth it to try again? I'd say that's your best bet at actually being a regular part of the kid's life. Sadly, I don't see much possibility of a change if you go through the legal system. And as someone already pointed out, going through the legal system could potentially make things worse for you.

I commend your effort to be part of your child's life. I'm not trying to talk you out of it or anything.

[Window Licking Whiner]

Originally Posted by KC Fish

What if you do win? Have you thought about what you would be able to do at that point?

Say that you did manage to change the antiquated process and actually get a DNA test. Say that test does prove you to be the father. Then what? That revelation wouldn't really guarantee that you'd see your child. All that would ensure is that you would be responsible for child support. And that very well could include back child support starting from when the child was born, along with court costs from the process.

Have you tried working with the mother to form some sort of arrangement outside of the legal system? Is there any possibility of that? If you've already tried, do you think it would be worth it to try again? I'd say that's your best bet at actually being a regular part of the kid's life. Sadly, I don't see much possibility of a change if you go through the legal system. And as someone already pointed out, going through the legal system could potentially make things worse for you.

I commend your effort to be part of your child's life. I'm not trying to talk you out of it or anything.

Yes as a matter of fact I have tried to work with them, however they have just ignored everything and everytime we try and work it out. There is no other option but through the courts at this point.

As far as what happens then? Well then I am responsible for his support, I've never had a problem with this. But I get to be apart of his life, in whatever small or limited way I can get. And at least my son will know that he has a dad that loves him and wants to be there.

[Molitoth]

I would try and get as much national attention as possible.

Get yourself on CNN or ABC nightline or something.

Notify the media about what is going on.