Late Night Bullshit: God has now entered the forums.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

The book you "wrote" says in 2 Timothy 3:16.... "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness".

So, either you actually did what the book of Exodus says you did since every word in that book came from you... or you are a big fat phony.

Seriously??? Not in the business of picking people over others? Christ man... the Isrealites killed Cananites, Philistines, and every other group of people you told them to because they preferred their own Gods over you.

Exodus 6:7 "I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt."

I am well versed in your story book and will tear your asshole from taint to coccyx with your own words.

Scripture Of Almost All Religions Is "Inspired" By Me. But I'm Not Telling These People What To Write. Sometimes They Advocate Things I Flatly Don't Agree With. The Bible Isn't A Direct Interpretation Of My Wishes Any More Than The Quran Or The Talmud Are.

I Never Told Anybody To Kill Anybody. I Can't Stand That Shit. My General Rule Of Thumb Is Nobody Kill Anybody. But As Usual, Folks Will Coopt Me As Justification For Doing Things For Themselves.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

Scripture Of Almost All Religions Is "Inspired" By Me. But I'm Not Telling These People What To Write. Sometimes They Advocate Things I Flatly Don't Agree With. The Bible Isn't A Direct Interpretation Of My Wishes Any More Than The Quran Or The Talmud Are.

I Never Told Anybody To Kill Anybody. I Can't Stand That Shit. My General Rule Of Thumb Is Nobody Kill Anybody. But As Usual, Folks Will Coopt Me As Justification For Doing Things For Themselves.

So you didn't take credit for killing the entire population of the planet, save for 8 people, with a flood? You didn't torch Soddom and Gomorrah with salt? You didn't throw down 10 plagues on Egypt culminating in the death of every Egyptian firstborn son, then a whole bunch of them for chasing the Isrealites into the Red Sea? You didn't open up the ground and swallow up Korah and his followers for daring to oppose your spokesman Moses? You didn't kill a bunch of Isrealites for complaining about the Manna you sent and wanting meat instead?

Buillshit. And those are just the old testament examples. I am happy to continue with the New Testament examples if your memory is foggy. I could understand how you would forget... chances are that if you killed countless people here then you have like done the same all over your multi-verse.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

So you didn't kill the entire population of the planet with a flood? You didn't torch Soddom and Gomorrah with salt? You didn't throw down 10 plagues on Egypt culminating in the death of every Egyptian firstborn son, then a whole bunch of them for chasing the Isrealites into the Red Sea? You didn't open up the ground and swallow up Korah and his followers for daring to oppose your spokesman Moses? You didn't kill a bunch of Isrealites for complaining about the Manna you sent and wanting meat instead?

Buillshit. And those are just the old testament examples. I am happy to continue with the New Testament examples if your memory is foggy. I could understand how you would forget... chances are that if you killed countless people here then you have like done the same all over your multi-verse.

I Did Not Do Those Things.

Here's A Pretty Good Rule Of Thumb: If You Read Something, And Go "Why The Hell Would A Benevolent God Do Something This Evil?," There's A Damn Good Chance I Didn't Do That Something. I Want People To Be Happy And Help Each Other, I Don't Ordain Them To Slaughter One Another Or Sprinkle Undue Blessings On Some That Others Won't Receive. That Doesn't Make A Lot Of Sense.

I Mean, Hell. Some Of Those Things Didn't Even Happen. There Was No Major Earth Flood That Killed Humanity, For Instance. And You Folks Know This -- There's No Archeological Evidence For It.

Those Things Are Crude Man-Made Allegories Designed To Promote Some Truth That Hopefully Makes Life Easier And More Benevolent. Some Of Those Succeed Greater Than Others.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

I Did Not Do Those Things.

Here's A Pretty Good Rule Of Thumb: If You Read Something, And Go "Why The Hell Would A Benevolent God Do Something This Evil?," There's A Damn Good Chance I Didn't Do That Something. I Want People To Be Happy And Help Each Other, I Don't Ordain Them To Slaughter One Another Or Sprinkle Undue Blessings On Some That Others Won't Receive. That Doesn't Make A Lot Of Sense.

I Mean, Hell. Some Of Those Things Didn't Even Happen. There Was No Major Earth Flood That Killed Humanity, For Instance. And You Folks Know This -- There's No Archeological Evidence For It.

Those Things Are Crude Man-Made Allegories Designed To Promote Some Truth That Hopefully Makes Life Easier And More Benevolent. Some Of Those Succeed Greater Than Others.

So everything good the bible says you did... you did. Everything bad it says you did... you didn't. Gotcha.

I totally believe you. Really... I do!

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

So everything good the bible says you did... you did. Everything bad it says you did... you didn't. Gotcha.

I totally believe you. Really... I do!

I Didn't Do A Lot Of The "Good" Stuff, Either. The Stories Are Allegorical. They Are Lessons. Whether I Specifically Did Anything Is Less Important Than The Lessons The Stories Are Meant To Impart.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

I Didn't Do A Lot Of The "Good" Stuff, Either. The Stories Are Allegorical. They Are Lessons. Whether I Specifically Did Anything Is Less Important Than The Lessons The Stories Are Meant To Impart.

So the lesson we learn from 2 Kings 2:23,24 is that children need to respect their elders. The "allegorical" account of Elisha cursing them in your name and two bears popping out of nowhere to kill 42 kids is just a story to teach children to be sensitive to an old balding man.

Jesus Christ man... not even the Brothers Grimm could come up with ****ed up stories "to teach lessons" like yours.

What lesson does 2 Kings 19:35 impart? Or are you gonna say that the angel that killed the entire Assyrian camp went rogue?

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

So the lesson we learn from 2 Kings 2:23,24 is that children need to respect their elders. The "allegorical" account of Elisha cursing them in your name and two bears popping out of nowhere to kill 42 kids is just a story to teach children to be sensitive to an old balding man.

Jesus Christ man... not even the Brothers Grimm could come up with ****ed up stories "to teach lessons" like yours.

What lesson does 2 Kings 19:35 impart? Or are you gonna say that the angel that killed the entire Assyrian camp went rogue?

Those Stories Are Written By Men. I Endorse The Ones That Make Sense And Promote A Sensible Altruism That Makes The World A Better Place.

The Bible's Packed With 'Em. It's Also, Unfortunately, Saddled With Some Stuff That Makes No Sense, Or Makes Me Out As Some Weird Omnipotent Dictator Of Suffering.