Football Monkey Belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend Bites Child

frozenchief · 11-03-2021, 04:07 PM

This has to be the headline of the year:

Monkey belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend bites child on Halloween.

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/monke...d-on-halloween

I saw this on Twitter and started looking. Only Fox mentions that the girlfriend is a stripper in the headline, which I personally thought was an important fact. In fact, her stage name is 'Pole Assassin'. She appeared at one point on the Jerry Springer Show. But this incident raises several questions about what we should learn from this incident:

1. Is this a danger of having a stripper girlfriend?

2. Is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has an emotional support animal?

3. is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has a monkey?

4. Is this a danger of giving away Halloween candy?

5. Why would you have a monkey as an emotional support animal?

6. Why would you date a woman whose professional name is 'Pole Assassin'? That's almost as bad as dating a woman whose professional name is 'felony' (the stage name of a stripper I represented at one point. Fortunately, she was charged with only a misdemeanor).

I, for one, cannot get enough of this hard-hitting journalism that focuses upon real stories and real people.

11-03-2021, 04:07 PM	Topic Starter
frozenchief Cynical Misanthrope Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Alaska Casino cash: $-1720000	Monkey Belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend Bites Child This has to be the headline of the year: Monkey belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend bites child on Halloween. https://www.foxnews.com/sports/monke...d-on-halloween I saw this on Twitter and started looking. Only Fox mentions that the girlfriend is a stripper in the headline, which I personally thought was an important fact. In fact, her stage name is 'Pole Assassin'. She appeared at one point on the Jerry Springer Show. But this incident raises several questions about what we should learn from this incident: 1. Is this a danger of having a stripper girlfriend? 2. Is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has an emotional support animal? 3. is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has a monkey? 4. Is this a danger of giving away Halloween candy? 5. Why would you have a monkey as an emotional support animal? 6. Why would you date a woman whose professional name is 'Pole Assassin'? That's almost as bad as dating a woman whose professional name is 'felony' (the stage name of a stripper I represented at one point. Fortunately, she was charged with only a misdemeanor). I, for one, cannot get enough of this hard-hitting journalism that focuses upon real stories and real people.
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