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Old 11-03-2021, 04:07 PM  
frozenchief frozenchief is offline
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Monkey Belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend Bites Child
This has to be the headline of the year:

Monkey belonging to Texas Special Team's Coach Stripper Girlfriend bites child on Halloween.

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/monke...d-on-halloween

I saw this on Twitter and started looking. Only Fox mentions that the girlfriend is a stripper in the headline, which I personally thought was an important fact. In fact, her stage name is 'Pole Assassin'. She appeared at one point on the Jerry Springer Show. But this incident raises several questions about what we should learn from this incident:

1. Is this a danger of having a stripper girlfriend?

2. Is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has an emotional support animal?

3. is this a danger of having a girlfriend who has a monkey?

4. Is this a danger of giving away Halloween candy?

5. Why would you have a monkey as an emotional support animal?

6. Why would you date a woman whose professional name is 'Pole Assassin'? That's almost as bad as dating a woman whose professional name is 'felony' (the stage name of a stripper I represented at one point. Fortunately, she was charged with only a misdemeanor).

I, for one, cannot get enough of this hard-hitting journalism that focuses upon real stories and real people.
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Old 11-04-2021, 09:03 AM   #31
Zap Rowsdower Zap Rowsdower is offline
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I guess college football coaches are just like the rest of us.
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Old 11-04-2021, 09:13 AM   #32
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Note to self: it's time to call it a night when the dj at the titty bar fires up this track for the next act:
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Old 11-04-2021, 10:02 AM   #33
MarkDavis'Haircut MarkDavis'Haircut is offline
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Old 11-04-2021, 10:08 AM   #34
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Police just released a photo of the child....
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Old 11-04-2021, 04:44 PM   #35
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Old 11-04-2021, 05:52 PM   #36
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Who among us hasn't had a stripper girlfriend's monkey bite a child?
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Old 11-04-2021, 06:50 PM   #37
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Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.
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Old 11-04-2021, 08:01 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by Beef Supreme View Post
Who among us hasn't had a stripper girlfriend's monkey bite a child?
Me. I'm going to have my stripper girlfriend get rid of her monkey.

Don't want to tempt fate...
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Old 11-04-2021, 08:02 PM   #39
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Everybody's got something to hide except for me and my monkey.
Your inside is out, and your outside is in, so come on.
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