Do you ever feel like a disappointment?

[|Zach|]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

They believe that I should live in their town, doing an old-economy job that they understand and relate to. I would also be unmarried so I could spend all my time serving them, and I would have their exact hobbies and no other.

This is not speculation.

Wild to think that people labor under the idea they can craft the destiny of their child so rigidly.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by |Zach|

Wild to think that people labor under the idea they can craft the destiny of their child so rigidly.

It took me a long time to figure them out. I don't think they're evil or overly controlling. I think the issue is that they merely have a very narrow view of the world, and have a masssive aversion to trying anything new. In their world, it's a bad idea to ever try anything that's unfamiliar to them, and my whole life is unfamilar to them.

Of course, it doesn't help that I grew up with eight cousins and I'm the only one who lives outside Missouri. So that makes my life path even more of an outlier, which in their minds solidifies their skepticism about me. I've flat-out been told that they're disappointed in how I turned out.

But it's really kind of ridiculous. My most telling story is that I got my undergraduate degree in aerospace engineering, and as I was interviewing for jobs, my mother argued that I should stay in town and get a minimum-wage job at the local lumberyard.

In light of the lumberyard story and some other really bad events, I eventually figured out that my parents consistently acted against my best interests for their own reasons, so I had to learn to ignore them. This isn't well received by them and causes friction.

Thanks for the therapy session.

[|Zach|]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It took me a long time to figure them out. I don't think they're evil or overly controlling. I think the issue is that they merely have a very narrow view of the world, and have a masssive aversion to trying anything new. In their world, it's a bad idea to ever try anything that's unfamiliar to them, and my whole life is unfamilar to them.

Of course, it doesn't help that I grew up with eight cousins and I'm the only one who lives outside Missouri. So that makes my life path even more of an outlier, which in their minds solidifies their skepticism about me. I've flat-out been told that they're disappointed in how I turned out.

But it's really kind of ridiculous. My most telling story is that I got my undergraduate degree in aerospace engineering, and as I was interviewing for jobs, my mother argued that I should stay in town and get a minimum-wage job at the local lumberyard.

In light of the lumberyard story and some other really bad events, I eventually figured out that my parents consistently acted against my best interests for their own reasons, so I had to learn to ignore them. This isn't well received by them and causes friction.

Thanks for the therapy session.

Impressive you were able to break out of that small bubble...what do you attribute that to? Was there some outside influence?

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by |Zach|

Impressive you were able to break out of that small bubble...what do you attribute that to? Was there some outside influence?

Honestly, I view it as my greatest life accomplishment. I had to fight my way out of that situation, and it's painful to come to the conclusion that your own parents are trying to undermine you.

I don't know if there was something in particular that helped me. I had a habit of developing friendships with very capable and motivated people, and they were to a great extent my mentors. But I think another big factor was the fact that my parents weren't thriving and I didn't want their life. It didn't take a genius to see that there were better paths, and the fact that they didn't want me to pursue those paths was telling.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It took me a long time to figure them out. I don't think they're evil or overly controlling. I think the issue is that they merely have a very narrow view of the world, and have a masssive aversion to trying anything new. In their world, it's a bad idea to ever try anything that's unfamiliar to them, and my whole life is unfamilar to them.

Of course, it doesn't help that I grew up with eight cousins and I'm the only one who lives outside Missouri. So that makes my life path even more of an outlier, which in their minds solidifies their skepticism about me. I've flat-out been told that they're disappointed in how I turned out.

But it's really kind of ridiculous. My most telling story is that I got my undergraduate degree in aerospace engineering, and as I was interviewing for jobs, my mother argued that I should stay in town and get a minimum-wage job at the local lumberyard.


In light of the lumberyard story and some other really bad events, I eventually figured out that my parents consistently acted against my best interests for their own reasons, so I had to learn to ignore them. This isn't well received by them and causes friction.

Thanks for the therapy session.

Kind of been there.
I was 16 years old when I finally found the balls to tell my old man that I was going to start living my own life the way I wanted to. Hair, clothes, classes. Etc.
I figured he’d knock the shit out of me, but he came home from work and said that he respected my opinion.
Then, the following week the family moved and I stayed there.
sec

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by seclark

Kind of been there.
I was 16 years old when I finally found the balls to tell my old man that I was going to start living my own life the way I wanted to. Hair, clothes, classes. Etc.
I figured he’d knock the shit out of me, but he came home from work and said that he respected my opinion.
Then, the following week the family moved and I stayed there.
sec

Your family must have really disliked your new haircut.