Life I am learning empathy for the homeless - Page 11

Hydrae · 08-15-2024, 04:35 AM

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

**Bearcat** · 08-17-2024, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

You should ban talking about anything related to government in this thread then as you're dimply incapable of unbiased enforcement.

Nah, I actually like ptlyon.

**loochy** · 08-17-2024, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

I never thought I'd see any of that SS money I was paying in either. I was convinced it was a waste of what little money I had at the time. Now, I'm on it. So another case of never say never.

That's how I've planned. If actually get some back, awesome, it's a bonus. But I don't trust our government clowns to keep the system working for another 20 years.

And I plan on taking it early while I can still enjoy it. A few more bucks a month does me no good when I'm in a grave or in the hospital

**Smed1065** · 08-17-2024, 05:10 PM

I have been homless before. It sucks but you will make it. Mine was due to an addition after leaving the Army. Need any help PM me.

**Smed1065** · 08-17-2024, 05:10 PM

Have more than I ever did before that. Just sucks.

**BigRedChief** · 08-17-2024, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

That's how I've planned. If actually get some back, awesome, it's a bonus. But I don't trust our government clowns to keep the system working for another 20 years.

And I plan on taking it early while I can still enjoy it. A few more bucks a month does me no good when I'm in a grave or in the hospital

The thing that keeps the politicians from touching SS is...... Citizens 65 or older are 30% of the USA population. And they traditionally vote at a higher rate than any other group.

HonestChieffan · 08-17-2024, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Most employers will contribute or match your 401K money. So say you are sitting aside 3%, they would match that for a 6% contribution to a 401K every payday.

workers can contribute up to 15% if i remember correct, the employers can match at whatever level they choose.

**LoneWolf** · 08-17-2024, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

The thing that keeps the politicians from touching SS is...... Citizens 65 or older are 30% of the USA population. And they traditionally vote at a higher rate than any other group.

No politician or Congress is going to end SS. The ramifications of that are catastrophic. In a decade you’d have homeless camps everywhere. Civil unrest and rioting in the streets would happen almost immediately.

**gblowfish** · 08-17-2024, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

Man, this place is so awesome! Thank you to everyone (even Otter, what the hell) for the kind words, advice, and simply support.

Today has been so much better of day than I have in a bit. First, this place. Also, the job that I thought I was out on is back on the table. I will know more on Monday. The Fred Meyer interview has been pushed to next Tuesday but that is okay. I will likely look to take both jobs with one of them being part time. That will get me back on my feet faster and I can get an idea of the environment and decide which is the longer term solution.

I will update this thread as my situation evolves but at least I think I see a light and I don't think it is a train. I am regaining faith that this will work out which is key to making that happen. To quote the old song, sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven.

A year and a half ago I got laid off after working for the same company for 17 years. Although I was not in danger of being homeless, I felt very low and my self esteem was bottom of the barrel. Within six weeks I found a full time job with great benefits and a part time job doing what I did at the place where I got laid off. Now although I'm not rich by any means, I have great health insurance, money in savings, money in IRA, and since I turned 65 this summer can retire when I feel like it. So hang in there. Things get better for people who are willing to work. I guarantee.

jerryaldini · 08-17-2024, 07:01 PM

Here is life expectancy by age for SS planning purposes. Hydrae is expected to be with us about another 20 years. Very glad to hear he's feeling better already!

https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html

SS is designed to break even at life expectancy. If you family has a history of long life, and you want to hedge against living well past expectancy, you might wait longer to take it. The good news is when you do the math unless you die toward either tail of the distribution it doesn't make that much difference, so you don't have to sweat it too much. I plan on following my middle path philosophy and starting about 65. Good luck Hydrae!

**Buehler445** · 08-17-2024, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HonestChieffan

workers can contribute up to 15% if i remember correct, the employers can match at whatever level they choose.

It’s 23000 not a %.

**lewdog** · 08-17-2024, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

That's how I've planned. If actually get some back, awesome, it's a bonus. But I don't trust our government clowns to keep the system working for another 20 years.

And I plan on taking it early while I can still enjoy it. A few more bucks a month does me no good when I'm in a grave or in the hospital

My retirement is 100% in the private sector like most younger people today (no pensions, all investments). I plan on taking SS early so that I can draw down less from my investments and keep more of that money invested to continue to produce further gains for longevity.

**mlyonsd** · 08-17-2024, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewdog

My retirement is 100% in the private sector like most younger people today (no pensions, all investments). I plan on taking SS early so that I can draw down less from my investments and keep more of that money invested to continue to produce further gains for longevity.

^ This guy gets it.

GloryDayz · 08-17-2024, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewdog

My retirement is 100% in the private sector like most younger people today (no pensions, all investments). I plan on taking SS early so that I can draw down less from my investments and keep more of that money invested to continue to produce further gains for longevity.

Hell yes... 100% agree, live your life while your body allows it.

Hydrae · 08-20-2024, 05:37 PM

I have to update here that I have a job!

It is as a part time order picker at Fred Meyer for now but it is a start. I should be starting by the first of next week at the latest. I am also confident that I will be picking up more hours on a pretty regular basis.

I also have not given up on getting a remote tech support job still. I have been working with one of our wonderful denizens on my resume. We will see if making it better set for the modern world gets me some attention finally. If that does happen, I will still work at Fred Meyer part time for a while to help get caught up on the backlog of bills, etc.

Again, this place is wonderful. Just like a family, fight with each other on the daily but step the **** up for anyone in need.

BIG_DADDY · 08-20-2024, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

I have to update here that I have a job!

It is as a part time order picker at Fred Meyer for now but it is a start. I should be starting by the first of next week at the latest. I am also confident that I will be picking up more hours on a pretty regular basis.

I also have not given up on getting a remote tech support job still. I have been working with one of our wonderful denizens on my resume. We will see if making it better set for the modern world gets me some attention finally. If that does happen, I will still work at Fred Meyer part time for a while to help get caught up on the backlog of bills, etc.

Again, this place is wonderful. Just like a family, fight with each other on the daily but step the **** up for anyone in need.

Congratulation!!!! Great news.

08-15-2024, 04:35 AM
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or Casino cash: $-1163000	I am learning empathy for the homeless I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face. In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation. I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years). So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks. I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line. So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard. Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.
Posts: 14,858	8 0

08-17-2024, 05:10 PM	#153
Smed1065 Supporter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Returning From Hell Casino cash: $4803673	I have been homless before. It sucks but you will make it. Mine was due to an addition after leaving the Army. Need any help PM me.
Posts: 10,204

08-17-2024, 05:10 PM	#154
Smed1065 Supporter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Returning From Hell Casino cash: $4803673	Have more than I ever did before that. Just sucks.
Posts: 10,204

08-17-2024, 07:01 PM	#159
jerryaldini MVP Join Date: Dec 2018 Casino cash: $2630400	Here is life expectancy by age for SS planning purposes. Hydrae is expected to be with us about another 20 years. Very glad to hear he's feeling better already! https://www.ssa.gov/oact/STATS/table4c6.html SS is designed to break even at life expectancy. If you family has a history of long life, and you want to hedge against living well past expectancy, you might wait longer to take it. The good news is when you do the math unless you die toward either tail of the distribution it doesn't make that much difference, so you don't have to sweat it too much. I plan on following my middle path philosophy and starting about 65. Good luck Hydrae!
Posts: 8,512	1 0

08-20-2024, 05:37 PM	#164
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or Casino cash: $-1163000	The sun shines in Oregon I have to update here that I have a job! It is as a part time order picker at Fred Meyer for now but it is a start. I should be starting by the first of next week at the latest. I am also confident that I will be picking up more hours on a pretty regular basis. I also have not given up on getting a remote tech support job still. I have been working with one of our wonderful denizens on my resume. We will see if making it better set for the modern world gets me some attention finally. If that does happen, I will still work at Fred Meyer part time for a while to help get caught up on the backlog of bills, etc. Again, this place is wonderful. Just like a family, fight with each other on the daily but step the **** up for anyone in need.
Posts: 14,858	22 0