I'm going to club a guy over the head with a jug of antifreeze.

[Rain Man]

I really do know why some people take guns into large companies and start shooting.

So I've been wrestling with the appraiser and he finally said that he would re-do the appraisal with the proper records. But he said that he's not allowed to because he puts the appraisal into some big computer system, and once he enters the numbers he can't change them. He said that he has to get permission from some appraisal clearinghouse who has to get permission from the lender.

So I contact the lender, and they say, "The appraisal is done." Argue, argue, argue. They say the appraisal is fine, because the appraiser used "an accepted source". THE SOURCE IS WRONG! THE SOURCE IS THE ESTIMATE OF SOME REALTOR TWO DECADES AGO! THE SQUARE FOOTAGE IS WRONG! THE NUMBER OF BEDROOMS IS WRONG! THE NUMBER OF BATHROOMS IS WRONG! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

She then says she can change it, but it may cost extra. Argue, argue, argue. I tell her to let me know so I can throw a screaming fit at someone higher up the ladder (my exact words).

She then says, "Why do you care? The numbers don't matter anyway. All we're doing is confirming that there's a house at that address."

The numbers don't matter? What? So I said, "Fine. Then change the number to $2 million and I'll go away." She said she'd talk to the appraiser.

What is so hard about this? The records are on the Internet. The house has been the same size for 102 years. Why can they not correct their own error without telling me it's going to cost me more money? And if the numbers don't matter, why am I paying money for the stupid appraisal? The whole thing is just a scam and a ripoff. I'll be glad when 2012 comes and all of these people are killed by Mayans.