Movies and TV Worst Movies Evar

Saccopoo · 09-25-2009, 01:49 AM

The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen?

Here's my top five right off the top of my head:

1. Crank
- And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit.

2. Nothing But Trouble
- No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed.

3. Clerks 2
- Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since.

4. Any Given Sunday
- See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed.

5. Righteous Kill
- Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.

Warrior5 · 09-25-2009, 01:56 AM

I'd like to say "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus", but I can't... I laughed my ass off!

'Hamas' Jenkins · 09-25-2009, 02:02 AM

Short Cuts

aturnis · 09-25-2009, 02:15 AM

I imagine there is probably a place for a thread such as this one. Couldn't imagine where though.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-25-2009, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

Short Cuts

Oooh!

Is that the piece of shit with the helicopters spraying pesticides? The one with a drunk Lily Tomlin and Huey Lewis taking a piss in a river?

'Hamas' Jenkins · 09-25-2009, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raised On Riots

Oooh!

Is that the piece of shit with the helicopters spraying pesticides? The one with a drunk Lily Tomlin and Huey Lewis taking a piss in a river?

That's the one.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-25-2009, 02:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 'Hamas' Jenkins

That's the one.

**** me with a broom handle; that was god-awful. And even worse, my quasi-artsy room mate trying to explain to me how great it was.

Just horrible.

KCChiefsMan · 09-25-2009, 02:33 AM

fail

2 of those movies were somewhat enjoyable at least. You want to talk about the worst movies ever you have to put The Happening, Showgirls, Wild Wild West, Gigli, Batman & Robin, Judge Dread, the latest Godzilla, Pearl Harbor, Paulie Shore movies....I could go all day

**kysirsoze** · 09-25-2009, 02:54 AM

CRANK WAS ****ING AWESOME...

Anyway, as far as the question:

The Spirit
House of the Dead
Dreamgirls
Ghost Rider

**kysirsoze** · 09-25-2009, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan

fail

2 of those movies were somewhat enjoyable at least. You want to talk about the worst movies ever you have to put The Happening, Showgirls, Wild Wild West, Gigli, Batman & Robin, Judge Dread, the latest Godzilla, Pearl Harbor, Paulie Shore movies....I could go all day

Good call on The Happening. I liked his first three and absolutely hated The Village. I "nothing"ed Lady in the Water, but going into The Happening my expectations could not have been lower. I was still shocked at how bad it was. It's like he's trying to suck.

CoMoChief · 09-25-2009, 02:59 AM

1. Christmas With the Kranks - (ex g/f awesome idea of seeing this flick) This stars Tim coke head Allen and hermie Jamie Lynn Curtis. every Xmas season some shitty Christmas comedy flick comes out and this was that season's flick, but out of every movie thats ever been made, this one takes the cake for being the biggest POS ever. I walked out and threaten to leave me g/f there if she didn't come with me. We rented a movie and chilled back at my place. Me and my ex used to always argue why we didn't get to see any movies that she wanted to see. Well this is full proof of the bullshit she likes to pick out.

2. Redline - Watched about 30 min of this when I came home one night and my roomate was watching this. At first I thought it was one of the Fast n Furious movies, but no...that wasn't shitty enough. I was never big into any of those street racing movies to begin with, but to make a shitty spin-off like movie about racing from another shitty racing movie.....I mean come on, a bitch being the best driver? We all know women can't drive cars for ****ing crap on a stick.

3. Batman and Robin - Whoever made this movie needs to be shot. Bat suits with huge nipples, reeruned one liners from Robin, horrible bat gadgets, ****ing Mr Freeze's ice hockey foot clan? The movie was filled with so many colors I thought I was tripping shrooms through out the movie only I wasn't. I was just witnessing a bunch of horse shit spread out across a string of movie film.

4. Jennifers Body - I just got done watching this movie. I'm speechless but confused by whether its because Megan Fox is so hot, or that was the worst hr 1/2 of shit I've seen in a while. I hope to god Megan Fox is never given a primary role ever again. She can't act for shit. She just needs to be on camera and look good and speak at a bare minimum. They gave her a bigger role in the 2nd Transformers movie, which is why I thought that movie was far worse than the 1st. I would give anything to **** her though. Did I mention she was hot?

5. Gattica - Man this movie just wasn't for me. I gonna get bashed for this because a lot people I know disagreed with me about this movie. I was just not interested in it at all. It started out really slow and continued to be really slow. And just never got my attention. I think Ethan Hawke's a homo anyways. I dont know how I got persuaded to see this movie.

**BossChief** · 09-25-2009, 03:13 AM

Easy one

Amityville 4 (well, I think its 4) ...the premis is that the energy of the amityville house went into a friggin lamp, yeah you heard me right, a friggin lamp!

Two people die in the whole movie. First one dies when the lamp unpluggs itself and the cord strangles him, the cord is flailing around the room and at one point you can see the fishing line holding it up clear as day. The other death happens when a guy is crawling through a vent shaft and then it flashes to an ooze/slime closing in out of absolutly nowhere, with no explaination of why really, and the camera cuts and it goes to a wide shot of the house with him screaming like a bitch.

One of those movies you have to watch twice just to appreciate how truly bad every aspect of the movie is and to make every other movie that much more appreciated.

Miles · 09-25-2009, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoMoChief

5. Gattica - Man this movie just wasn't for me. I gonna get bashed for this because a lot people I know disagreed with me about this movie. I was just not interested in it at all. It started out really slow and continued to be really slow. And just never got my attention. I think Ethan Hawke's a homo anyways. I dont know how I got persuaded to see this movie.

I think it's one of the best movies of the 90's.

**CrazyPhuD** · 09-25-2009, 03:55 AM

Joe's apartment....paid $1 to see it and I thought I got ripped off. Talking cockroaches....enough said...

mikey23545 · 09-25-2009, 03:57 AM

Maybe some of you just spend too much time watching shit movies...Out of all the movies mentioned so far in this thread, I've seen exactly one...Gattaca - and that was a great movie, but unfortunately for some you needed an I.Q. over 65 or so to enjoy it...

09-25-2009, 01:49 AM
Saccopoo Kindness in words... Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Zion Casino cash: $10025483	Worst Movies Evar The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen? Here's my top five right off the top of my head: 1. Crank - And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit. 2. Nothing But Trouble - No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed. 3. Clerks 2 - Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since. 4. Any Given Sunday - See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed. 5. Righteous Kill - Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.
Posts: 15,450

09-25-2009, 01:56 AM	#2
Warrior5 Stram was Cav Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $8054010	I'd like to say "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus", but I can't... I laughed my ass off! __________________ The best pass defense is attacking the passer.
Posts: 5,240

09-25-2009, 02:02 AM	#3
'Hamas' Jenkins Now you've pissed me off! Join Date: Jan 2006 Casino cash: $7129572	Short Cuts __________________ "When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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09-25-2009, 02:15 AM	#4
aturnis MVP Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Iowa Casino cash: $9975811	I imagine there is probably a place for a thread such as this one. Couldn't imagine where though.
Posts: 13,873

09-25-2009, 02:33 AM	#8
KCChiefsMan AIC Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: West Roxbury, MA Casino cash: $10004900	fail 2 of those movies were somewhat enjoyable at least. You want to talk about the worst movies ever you have to put The Happening, Showgirls, Wild Wild West, Gigli, Batman & Robin, Judge Dread, the latest Godzilla, Pearl Harbor, Paulie Shore movies....I could go all day
Posts: 11,478

09-25-2009, 02:54 AM	#9
kysirsoze SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!! Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $6946	CRANK WAS ****ING AWESOME... Anyway, as far as the question: The Spirit House of the Dead Dreamgirls Ghost Rider
Posts: 11,978

09-25-2009, 02:59 AM	#11
CoMoChief Mahomes Dynasty Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Parts Unknown Casino cash: $7662254	1. Christmas With the Kranks - (ex g/f awesome idea of seeing this flick) This stars Tim coke head Allen and hermie Jamie Lynn Curtis. every Xmas season some shitty Christmas comedy flick comes out and this was that season's flick, but out of every movie thats ever been made, this one takes the cake for being the biggest POS ever. I walked out and threaten to leave me g/f there if she didn't come with me. We rented a movie and chilled back at my place. Me and my ex used to always argue why we didn't get to see any movies that she wanted to see. Well this is full proof of the bullshit she likes to pick out. 2. Redline - Watched about 30 min of this when I came home one night and my roomate was watching this. At first I thought it was one of the Fast n Furious movies, but no...that wasn't shitty enough. I was never big into any of those street racing movies to begin with, but to make a shitty spin-off like movie about racing from another shitty racing movie.....I mean come on, a bitch being the best driver? We all know women can't drive cars for **ing crap on a stick. 3. Batman and Robin - Whoever made this movie needs to be shot. Bat suits with huge nipples, reeruned one liners from Robin, horrible bat gadgets, ing Mr Freeze's ice hockey foot clan? The movie was filled with so many colors I thought I was tripping shrooms through out the movie only I wasn't. I was just witnessing a bunch of horse shit spread out across a string of movie film. 4. Jennifers Body - I just got done watching this movie. I'm speechless but confused by whether its because Megan Fox is so hot, or that was the worst hr 1/2 of shit I've seen in a while. I hope to god Megan Fox is never given a primary role ever again. She can't act for shit. She just needs to be on camera and look good and speak at a bare minimum. They gave her a bigger role in the 2nd Transformers movie, which is why I thought that movie was far worse than the 1st. I would give anything to ** her though. Did I mention she was hot? 5. Gattica - Man this movie just wasn't for me. I gonna get bashed for this because a lot people I know disagreed with me about this movie. I was just not interested in it at all. It started out really slow and continued to be really slow. And just never got my attention. I think Ethan Hawke's a homo anyways. I dont know how I got persuaded to see this movie.
Posts: 39,245

09-25-2009, 03:13 AM	#12
BossChief SuperBowl or bust Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: BF Iowa Casino cash: $-1795912	Easy one Amityville 4 (well, I think its 4) ...the premis is that the energy of the amityville house went into a friggin lamp, yeah you heard me right, a friggin lamp! Two people die in the whole movie. First one dies when the lamp unpluggs itself and the cord strangles him, the cord is flailing around the room and at one point you can see the fishing line holding it up clear as day. The other death happens when a guy is crawling through a vent shaft and then it flashes to an ooze/slime closing in out of absolutly nowhere, with no explaination of why really, and the camera cuts and it goes to a wide shot of the house with him screaming like a bitch. One of those movies you have to watch twice just to appreciate how truly bad every aspect of the movie is and to make every other movie that much more appreciated. __________________ Dreams do come true... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...postcount=1407
Posts: 47,909

09-25-2009, 03:55 AM	#14
CrazyPhuD Meow Join Date: Jun 2005 Casino cash: $10005050	Joe's apartment....paid $1 to see it and I thought I got ripped off. Talking cockroaches....enough said... __________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t*rd by the clean end"
Posts: 8,523

09-25-2009, 03:57 AM	#15
mikey23545 MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10015321	Maybe some of you just spend too much time watching shit movies...Out of all the movies mentioned so far in this thread, I've seen exactly one...Gattaca - and that was a great movie, but unfortunately for some you needed an I.Q. over 65 or so to enjoy it...
Posts: 12,314