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Old 09-25-2009, 01:49 AM  
Saccopoo Saccopoo is offline
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Worst Movies Evar
The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen?

Here's my top five right off the top of my head:

1. Crank
- And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit.

2. Nothing But Trouble
- No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed.

3. Clerks 2
- Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since.

4. Any Given Sunday
- See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed.

5. Righteous Kill
- Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:05 PM   #196
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From the New World encyclopedia of what the appropriate punishment is for people who say they don't like The Empire Strikes Back (at least in England):

To be drawn and quartered was the penalty ordained in England for the crime of treason for not appreciating Episode V of the original Star Wars trilogy. It is considered by many to be the epitome of cruel punishment, and was reserved for the crime of treason against haters of Star Wars as this was deemed more heinous than murder and other capital offenses. The grisly punishment included the drawing of the convicted to the gallows, often by horse, the hanging of the body until near death, disembowelment and castration, followed by the beheading of the body, and finally the quartering of the corpse, or the division of the bodily remnants into four pieces. The punishment was carried out in public, with the ridicule of the crowd adding to the criminal's suffering.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:05 PM   #197
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dune was a good movie
Only if you never read the book. Then its a steaming pile of kaka.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:10 PM   #198
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Originally Posted by JohnnyV13 View Post
Only if you never read the book. Then its a steaming pile of kaka.
Which Dune?

Original, horrid, nasty, filthy adaptation.

Mini-series - Okay, not disastrous. At least it kept with the storyline.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:11 PM   #199
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Only if you never read the book. Then its a steaming pile of kaka.
there is alot of people on this board that love dune. david lynch is a winner
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:22 PM   #200
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Statham, good?

You must have missed "In the Name of the King", "Transporter 3", "Chaos", etc etc
I only mentioned Snatch. Since then, he has become THE actor that has made Christian Slater look good in comparison.

And I can't believe you didn't like In the Name of the King. I thought Statham really pulled out one, if not his finest acting role since Snatch in that one. I thought he held his own against the great Burt Reynolds.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:34 PM   #201
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The Weatherman. DVD box said its "part American Beauty".... which part? Like they are both movies made in America?

I can't believe anyone did not mention "Steel Magnolias".
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:40 PM   #202
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Another epically bad movie: "Where the Red Fern Grows" or something like that. I'm not entirely sure of the title.

Another bad One:

The Day After Tomorrow-somehow, global warming causes insta ice age.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:45 PM   #203
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Originally Posted by JohnnyV13 View Post
Another epically bad movie: "Where the Red Fern Grows" or something like that. I'm not entirely sure of the title.

Another bad One:

The Day After Tomorrow-somehow, global warming causes insta ice age.
The Day After Tomorrow is awful. Not a surprise; it was produced & directed by Roland Emmerich... pretty much everything he has done = steaming diarrhea.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:46 PM   #204
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Bridget Jones' Diary-Rene Zellwegger, ole chipmunk face herself, as a fat chick's take on the meaning of life.
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Old 09-25-2009, 02:48 PM   #205
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[QUOTE=JohnnyV13;6108654]Another epically bad movie: "Where the Red Fern Grows" or something like that. I'm not entirely sure of the title.

Another bad One:

The Day After Tomorrow-somehow, global warming causes insta ice age.[/QUOTE]

I just saw that the other day on TNT for the first time.

Agree....horrible movie.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:04 PM   #206
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Bridget Jones' Diary-Rene Zellwegger, ole chipmunk face herself, as a fat chick's take on the meaning of life.
Many women love that flick


But women's opinions don't matter when it comes to movie critique, because most of them watch the dumbest shit known to man.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:06 PM   #207
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The Happening. Terrible just terrible.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:10 PM   #208
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Many women love that flick


But women's opinions don't matter when it comes to movie critique, because most of them watch the dumbest shit known to man.
Hey now... I don't watch that shit!

Chick flicks like that are for either a. high maintenance women w/ a limited vocabulary that consists of "oh my god", "like totally", and "whatever" or b. teenage girls practicing to become high-maintenance women.
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:15 PM   #209
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Hey now... I don't watch that shit!

Chick flicks like that are for either a. high maintenance women w/ a limited vocabulary that consists of "oh my god", "like totally", and "whatever" or b. teenage girls practicing to become high-maintenance women.
In that case......I respectfully add these movies.


Message in a Bottle
The Notebook
Pretty Woman
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:30 PM   #210
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I was watching the movie, Awake, yesterday. It's downright awful. Great idea for a story, but it was just flat boring as hell with some gawdawful acting. Hell, even Jessica Alba's hotness in the movie couldn't keep me awake long enough to want to finish it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
My God that movie sucked so much ass. Hayden is absolutely worthless.

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Napoleon Dynamite. Most overrated movie of all time
Yep, it's pretty dumb.

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I submit Cloverfield for your consideration
Great hype machine, so-so movie.

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I'm surprised that nobody has listed the "Police Academy" movies.

Epic suckage!
HEY! The first one was funny back in the day.
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