Movies and TV Worst Movies Evar - Page 21

Saccopoo · 09-25-2009, 01:49 AM

The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen?

Here's my top five right off the top of my head:

1. Crank
- And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit.

2. Nothing But Trouble
- No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed.

3. Clerks 2
- Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since.

4. Any Given Sunday
- See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed.

5. Righteous Kill
- Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.

BigRock · 09-26-2009, 06:00 PM

If the search is accurate, it's a crime this has gone 300 posts without a mention of this miserable abortion:

To understand how bad this was, you first have to agree, as I'm sure we all do, that the original Teen Wolf is one of the great movies of our times. Has there been a better character created in film over the last 30 years than Coach Bobby Finstock? I didn't think so.

You've also got Styles, the angry liquor store guy, Boof, Chubby, the list of classic characters goes on and on. LEMONADE, MY MAN, WHAT IT IS?

Then comes this piece of shit. Instead of being about Michael J. Fox's character, it's about his cousin. Who... gets driven to college by Michael J. Fox's dad from the first movie. And who is rooming with Styles and Chubs, Michael J. Fox's friends from the first movie.

Quite obviously, we can deduce that they meant for this to be about Michael J. Fox's character, but Michael was told "You can be in this sequel or you can get Parkinson's Disease" and he thought about it for 3 seconds and took the Parkinson's. Who can blame him?

So, OK, it's the cousin of the Teen Wolf from the first movie. But he gets to his dorm room and meets Styles, and guess what? It's a different actor playing Styles. They couldn't even get the original Styles, who did next to nothing after Teen Wolf, to come back for this.

Then the cousin finds out that he has a boxing scholarship to this college, despite never having boxed in his life. So he goes to see the coach and, hey, it's Coach Finstock! Moving up in the world! Except... it's a different actor playing Coach Finstock.

This obviously begs the question: if half the original cast was replaced by different actors, yet the characters remained the same, why not just have Jason Bateman take over Michael J. Fox's role instead of this ridiculous cousin business?

They then proceed to completely copy the original Teen Wolf, except they do it far worse, and with boxing instead of basketball. And to cap off this epic disaster, Cousin of Teen Wolf refuses to change into the wolf for his final boxing match but (spoiler) still wins it anyway despite NEVER BEING A BOXER before he went to college.

I mean, pre-wolf Michael J. Fox wasn't LeBron in the original movie, but at least he was ON the basketball team the whole time. This guy goes from never having boxed at all to beating the state champ or whatever the hell happened. Come on.

If you can actually watch this entire movie without killing your family and then yourself, you are truly at harmony with the universe. And with that in mind, I award Teen Wolf Too THE OFFICIAL CHRIS BENOIT SALUTE OF EXCELLENCE.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-26-2009, 06:03 PM

Ummm no. The first one was shit too.

Pasta Little Brioni · 09-26-2009, 06:13 PM

MVP Most Valuable Primate
Ed...a monkey joins a professional baseball team, also has one of the dudes from Friends
Any of the Air Bud movies
SyFy network movies with the giant killer ants, bugs, crocodiles...etc

Pasta Little Brioni · 09-26-2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notorious

I'm still pissed off they cancelled Farscape due to budget issues, yet still make those shitty movies at an amazing rate.

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they made a movie about people being attacked by thier own shit.

googlegoogle · 09-26-2009, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they made a movie about people being attacked by thier own shit.

**jjchieffan** · 09-26-2009, 06:46 PM

All of the American Pie Movies

Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac.

Spaceballs

Moulin Rouge

Chicago...not a fan of musicals

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-26-2009, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjchieffan

All of the American Pie Movies

Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac.

Spaceballs

Moulin Rouge

Chicago...not a fan of musicals

WTF, man?!?!?

CoMoChief · 09-26-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjchieffan

All of the American Pie Movies

Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac.

Spaceballs

Moulin Rouge

Chicago...not a fan of musicals

Whelp, see you in Hell!!!!!

Coach · 09-26-2009, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjchieffan

All of the American Pie Movies

Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac.

Spaceballs

Moulin Rouge

Chicago...not a fan of musicals

Dude, Spaceballs was awesome. It was stupid funny ha, ha, ha kind of a way. Not like stupid "WTF is this reeruned teen wolf pr0n?"

**Dartgod** · 09-26-2009, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjchieffan

Spaceballs

Somebody's got to say it....

Your and idiot!

Saccopoo · 09-26-2009, 07:13 PM

Sorry. I'm with jj. Spaceballs was the suck. As in it sucked the stink off the festered ass of a menstruating skunk suck. And then consider it in the context of being directed/produced by the same guy who gave you Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles and History of the World. I mean, "the Schwartz?" C'mon guys. I know Mel did some amazing stuff, but this was a pile of shit.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-26-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saccopoo

Sorry. I'm with jj. Spaceballs was the suck. As in it sucked the stink off the festered ass of a menstruating skunk suck. And then consider it in the context of being directed/produced by the same guy who gave you Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles and History of the World. I mean, "the Schwartz?" C'mon guys. I know Mel did some amazing stuff, but this was a pile of shit.

Escort this Philistine to the Alomar Forest!

Chieficus · 09-26-2009, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keg in kc

The worst movie I've ever seen in a theater is still Batman and Robin.

That would be on my list... other movies that I walked out of the theater and vowed never to speak of them again (well, there goes that):

The Happening
Master of Disguise
Final Fantasy

**The Bad Guy** · 09-26-2009, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jjchieffan

All of the American Pie Movies

Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac.

Spaceballs

Moulin Rouge

Chicago...not a fan of musicals

You obviously aren't a fan of humor either.

What a ****ing awful post.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 09-26-2009, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bad Guy

You obviously aren't a fan of humor either.

What a ****ing awful post.

09-25-2009, 01:49 AM
Saccopoo Kindness in words... Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Zion Casino cash: $10025483	Worst Movies Evar The Megan Fox thread got me to thinking...what are your personal "worst" movies you've ever seen? Here's my top five right off the top of my head: 1. Crank - And Statham was so good in Snatch. WTF happened to that guy? This movie is a trainwreck of epic proportions. I'm getting physically sick just thinking about this pail of warm spit. 2. Nothing But Trouble - No words to discribe how bad this piece of shit is as Dan Ackroyd builds up his acting resume with this triumphant followup to his Oscar worthy performance in Caddyshack 2. Everyone associated with this movie should be killed. 3. Clerks 2 - Why does Kevin Smith even make movies? He's like a really bad Quentin Tarrantino, and that's saying a lot (or very little). Blew his wad on the original Clerks and has treated us with calamities such as this ever since. 4. Any Given Sunday - See #3 for description on Oliver Stone. The fact that he is actually putting out Wallstreet 2: Money Never Sleeps, put out Alexander and this steaming pile of monkey shit. I mean, when was the last time anyone played NFL football in the dark? Probably the last time Al Pacino didn't mail it in on a movie. HOOOHAAA! Al. Hoohaa indeed. 5. Righteous Kill - Pacino. DeNiro. It's got to be great, right? OMG. They didn't even put a stamp on the letter to mail it in for this lump of festering goat bile. And next time, remember to get a stand in double for anytime you are being filmed trying to throw a ball or run Bobby. I mean, shit. Who would of thought that DeNiro throws like a girl. An old, wrinkled up sissy armed girl who runs like a hobbled 89 year old lady in six inch stilettos.
Posts: 15,450

09-26-2009, 06:00 PM	#301
BigRock Pritay Pritay Pritay Good Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: The State of Euphoria Casino cash: $675412	If the search is accurate, it's a crime this has gone 300 posts without a mention of this miserable abortion: To understand how bad this was, you first have to agree, as I'm sure we all do, that the original Teen Wolf is one of the great movies of our times. Has there been a better character created in film over the last 30 years than Coach Bobby Finstock? I didn't think so. You've also got Styles, the angry liquor store guy, Boof, Chubby, the list of classic characters goes on and on. LEMONADE, MY MAN, WHAT IT IS? Then comes this piece of shit. Instead of being about Michael J. Fox's character, it's about his cousin. Who... gets driven to college by Michael J. Fox's dad from the first movie. And who is rooming with Styles and Chubs, Michael J. Fox's friends from the first movie. Quite obviously, we can deduce that they meant for this to be about Michael J. Fox's character, but Michael was told "You can be in this sequel or you can get Parkinson's Disease" and he thought about it for 3 seconds and took the Parkinson's. Who can blame him? So, OK, it's the cousin of the Teen Wolf from the first movie. But he gets to his dorm room and meets Styles, and guess what? It's a different actor playing Styles. They couldn't even get the original Styles, who did next to nothing after Teen Wolf, to come back for this. Then the cousin finds out that he has a boxing scholarship to this college, despite never having boxed in his life. So he goes to see the coach and, hey, it's Coach Finstock! Moving up in the world! Except... it's a different actor playing Coach Finstock. This obviously begs the question: if half the original cast was replaced by different actors, yet the characters remained the same, why not just have Jason Bateman take over Michael J. Fox's role instead of this ridiculous cousin business? They then proceed to completely copy the original Teen Wolf, except they do it far worse, and with boxing instead of basketball. And to cap off this epic disaster, Cousin of Teen Wolf refuses to change into the wolf for his final boxing match but (spoiler) still wins it anyway despite NEVER BEING A BOXER before he went to college. I mean, pre-wolf Michael J. Fox wasn't LeBron in the original movie, but at least he was ON the basketball team the whole time. This guy goes from never having boxed at all to beating the state champ or whatever the hell happened. Come on. If you can actually watch this entire movie without killing your family and then yourself, you are truly at harmony with the universe. And with that in mind, I award Teen Wolf Too THE OFFICIAL CHRIS BENOIT SALUTE OF EXCELLENCE.
Posts: 6,990

09-26-2009, 06:03 PM	#302
Sweet Daddy Hate Unsparing Join Date: Aug 2008 Casino cash: $10004900	Ummm no. The first one was shit too. __________________ 1. Merciless, severe. 2. Given freely and generously. 100% refusal to overrate 20 year Head Coaches with ZERO **ing rings as a Head Coach. CP's Official Professor of 'Dem Blues for 2019/2020!**
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09-26-2009, 06:13 PM	#303
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $118880	MVP Most Valuable Primate Ed...a monkey joins a professional baseball team, also has one of the dudes from Friends Any of the Air Bud movies SyFy network movies with the giant killer ants, bugs, crocodiles...etc
Posts: 73,027

09-26-2009, 06:46 PM	#306
jjchieffan Supporter Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Highlandville, MO Casino cash: $-147752	All of the American Pie Movies Anything with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrel, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson in it. I mean, seriously, these guys are supposed to be funny? Lamest bunch of morons out there. Wish it could have been some of these guys dying instead of Heath Ledger, Patrick Swayze, and Bernie Mac. Spaceballs Moulin Rouge Chicago...not a fan of musicals __________________ Genesis 1:1 In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. Following the historical accounts and the genealogy from that point on, the age of the Earth is approximately 6000-7000 years old. The Big Bullshit Theory is a lie. It and the evolution theory go against real science. Satan has used our public school system to brainwash everyone into believing these lies. Be not decieved.
Posts: 13,354

09-26-2009, 07:13 PM	#311
Saccopoo Kindness in words... Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Zion Casino cash: $10025483	Sorry. I'm with jj. Spaceballs was the suck. As in it sucked the stink off the festered ass of a menstruating skunk suck. And then consider it in the context of being directed/produced by the same guy who gave you Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles and History of the World. I mean, "the Schwartz?" C'mon guys. I know Mel did some amazing stuff, but this was a pile of shit.
Posts: 15,450