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Old 01-13-2010, 11:20 AM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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How To Make Love To A Woman
So this girl Ive been seeing for a while now is telling me she loves me and the next time she comes over (tomorrow night) she doesnt want me to **** her, she wants me to "make love to her". I haven't "made love" to someone in so long I don't think I remember how. Obviously it would come naturally if I was in love with her, but Im not so I need to fake this somehow. Any advice/tips would be appreciated.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:47 PM   #226
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
Slayer giving sex advice.

It really is the end of time.
I was gone for 3 and a half years...I had fun with it.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:53 PM   #227
BigMeatballDave BigMeatballDave is offline
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Originally Posted by Micjones View Post
You can **** the shit out of a woman slowly.

But why choose? Start off nice and easy and finish it with the Boston Crab.
10 minutes from the finish line...Beat the pussy like it stole something.
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:56 PM   #228
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Old 01-13-2010, 05:57 PM   #229
Donger Donger is offline
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Originally Posted by siberian khatru View Post
I prefer "Smoke on the Water," but sometimes for variety I'll perform Debussy's "Nocturnes."
Imperial March from Star Wars. I also hear that in my head every time I give a presentation for some reason.
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I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:01 PM   #230
luv luv is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post


No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
Go see a shrink. You've got issues.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:01 PM   #231
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Imperial March from Star Wars. I also hear that in my head every time I give a presentation for some reason.
Sounds like a personal problem...hopefully it's not Gochiefs Disorder.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:04 PM   #232
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Originally Posted by luv View Post
Go see a shrink. You've got issues.
Nah it will go away on its own with time.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:05 PM   #233
Donger Donger is offline
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Sounds like a personal problem...hopefully it's not Gochiefs Disorder.
Yes, I'm the one with the problem. What about the woman who bought me a Vader costume and likes to yell out, "fuck me, Darth!!" during sex?
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:05 PM   #234
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post
Nah it will go away on its own with time.
There we go. Finally a sign that you really are a guy.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:07 PM   #235
Titty Meat Titty Meat is offline
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Spit in her vagina instead of using lube and make rude comments about her body.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:07 PM   #236
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post


No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
Ok, now you're crossing over to some pretty serious stuff. Please call a therapist before it gets any worse.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:08 PM   #237
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
Yes, I'm the one with the problem. What about the woman who bought me a Vader costume and likes to yell out, "fuck me, Darth!!" during sex?
Well, you should've mentioned that the first time!
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:11 PM   #238
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Nah it will go away on its own with time.
Sometimes, that idea is what makes it worse...if you go now, you'll probably end up spending a lot less money.
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:12 PM   #239
Bearcat Bearcat is offline
Would an idiot do that?
 
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Go see a shrink. You've got issues.
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Ok, now you're crossing over to some pretty serious stuff. Please call a therapist before it gets any worse.
You two should hook up and release all that sexual frustration.

He'll need a ride though....
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Old 01-13-2010, 06:34 PM   #240
Param Param is offline
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Originally Posted by MTG#10 View Post


No she's actually hot as hell...Ive just had a little bit of a problem with keeping my dick hard and getting off since my wife left. The only way Ive been successful is to pound the shit out of every girl Ive slept with. If I try to slow it down and be gentle I think of my wife and go limp. Its all psychological.
I think it's funny and sad at the same time you're going to fake love her. Just pound her and throw her out. If she wants love making and you don't so be it. Just keep tappin dat arse and if she gets mad without the love making just tell her this is all I want.
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