How To Make Love To A Woman

[TigerPig]

Originally Posted by J-Town Fan 1988

No, you've got to be a certifiable dickhead to get what you want.

You have to be a charming dickhead.

Once again I'm no Don Juan, but I'll tell you one of the stuff I do. Sometimes it works, and sometimes you (literally) get hit.

I was at a party, and these two girls started making out. All the guys start cheering like idiots. So when they're done I ask the girls, "So do you girls make out when you're by yourself, or do you just do it around other guys to get attention?" They didn't say a word, because they knew I was right and I called them out on it. I didn't get anywhere with either of them, but I thought it was funny nonetheless.

Then there was a girl at a party who was wearing this tight-ass spandex shorts that showed off the bottom part of her cheeks. All the guys were checking her out, but I decided to be a prick. I went up to her and said, "Can I ask what the fuck is up with wearing pants like that?" She called me a prick, but one of the girls who saw me do it started chatting me up and gave me her number.

Another girl was drinking a beer, and her friend went to the bathroom and gave her her beer to hold. So as she's holding these two beers, I go up to her without having said ANOTHER word to her before and ask, "So do you usually like two at once?" She got offended, then laughed, and I actually went out on a date with her.

Just have fun. If its not your style to be a jerk then don't be. If its not your style to go out to parties like that, then don't. I just do what I do, and to be truthful its probably the wrong way to be doing it. But I have fun!