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Old 01-13-2010, 11:20 AM  
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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How To Make Love To A Woman

So this girl Ive been seeing for a while now is telling me she loves me and the next time she comes over (tomorrow night) she doesnt want me to **** her, she wants me to "make love to her". I haven't "made love" to someone in so long I don't think I remember how. Obviously it would come naturally if I was in love with her, but Im not so I need to fake this somehow. Any advice/tips would be appreciated.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:44 AM   #346
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This thread was moderately entertaining until the creepy fat kid with bulimia showed up.

Clay, you're always going to be fat in your head. No amount of exercise will fix you inside.
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Old 01-14-2010, 12:52 AM   #347
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
No amount of exercise will fix you inside.
High cholesterol can be dangerous!
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:02 AM   #348
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
This thread was moderately entertaining until the creepy fat kid with bulimia showed up.

Clay, you're always going to be fat in your head. No amount of exercise will fix you inside.
I'm sure the posts of my mediocre advice and mild-to-moderately-entertaining shenanigans didn't help the thread either, lol.

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Originally Posted by mac
"But our shenanigans are fun and cheeky, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic... Which really doesn't make them shenanigans at all."
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Old 01-14-2010, 01:47 AM   #349
BillSelfsTrophycase BillSelfsTrophycase is offline
WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION
 
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I don't know about you

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Old 01-14-2010, 02:08 AM   #350
T-post Tom T-post Tom is offline
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As a lesbian trapped in a man's body, this thread makes me hot.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:17 AM   #351
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Originally Posted by Bearcat View Post
Aw.



Are there CC college classes I can take or a pill or something?
Watch "House", take notes.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:17 AM   #352
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is online now
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Good place to post this.

Oh. My. God.
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Old 01-14-2010, 02:27 AM   #353
Slayer Diablo Slayer Diablo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv View Post
I think you're letting America's stereotype of the the worthy chick guide you.

How do you know you don't like sleeping with fat chicks? It's like saying you don't like eating something whenever you've never tried it. There are lots of disgusting looking foods that taste great. And vice versa.
I agree with this to an extent. If a guy finds a woman who isn't fat and yet he still can't handle her weight, chances are pretty good that adding more weight to the situation isn't going to be any more pleasant. The same goes for being disgusted by cellulite...going from moderate cellulite to severe with vericose veins and razor-sharp stubble isn't going to have any "great taste."
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:44 AM   #354
tyton75 tyton75 is offline
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Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
A card for the occasion

Baby, you said you'd like to make love tonight
You want my gentle soft delight
So I'll leave home the donkey punch and cleveland steamer
Tonight I won't be the brown star reaper.
I learned on the planet what you need
No Pantera, Kenny G.
The poll told me to do exactly what?!!
That is why I'm peeing, in your butt
Thats beautiful man
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:25 AM   #355
Hog's Gone Fishin Hog's Gone Fishin is offline
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Grind up some corn. add a little soybean meal, some trace minerals and vitamins. Put about 4 ibs in the feeder and they won't care what the sex is like !
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:36 AM   #356
tyton75 tyton75 is offline
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Grind up some corn. add a little soybean meal, some trace minerals and vitamins. Put about 4 ibs in the feeder and they won't care what the sex is like !

you should really consider changing your name to BrickTop
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:57 AM   #357
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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Fat chicks and ugly chicks... ROCK. You have no freaking clue how much they rock. They so many times will try sooo hard to make you happy, that before you know it you're doing some fun, wild stuff.

Hot, arrogant girls think they can get whoever they want, and just phone it in. They think their p*ssy is a gift or something.
18 to 80, blind, fat, crippled, or crazy but nothing over six days dead.
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Old 01-14-2010, 07:58 AM   #358
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoChiefs View Post
I think a lot of it for me is psychological. A fat chick tried to force herself on me once.
Now you know how your dates feel.
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“You may think RaiderH8r is just a thinker. But I’m not just a thinker. I’m a doer. Every day I go out there, and rev that engine, fire it up, grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And when the fear rises up in my belly, I use it. Fear is powerful, because it’s been there for billions of years. And it is good. And I use it. And I ride it; I ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell.”
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RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.RaiderH8r is blessed with 50/50 Hindsight.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:49 AM   #359
wutamess wutamess is offline
MVP
 
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SONGS FOR YOU TO ROMANCE HER WITH:



















My nomination for post of the year. This is pure comedy. Funny part is, he's DEAD SERIOUS...
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:15 AM   #360
Jilly Jilly is offline
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I had to dig this thread up from the second page, because I'm depressed today and it makes me giggle.
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Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.Jilly would the whole thing.
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